cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
Cobra Commander ([personal profile] cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) wrote2013-06-21 03:58 pm

74 | Video

[When the feed starts, there's a clear view of a strange cup of some sort on Cobra's desk. He wanted to show it off sooner, but with the glitches and everything from a couple weeks ago, he figured it best to wait until things calmed down.]

No doubt many of you are wondering what thisssss is, and why I am bringing it your attention. Allow me to explain. As some of you may know, in 1867 the United Sssstates of America purchased Alaska from Russia. What you may not know is that a provision in the treaty involved the transfer of this item, the Seal of Alaska, from the Russian government to the American one. Unfortunately the ship carrying the seal sank, and it was thought lost forever.

However, my operatives were able to recover the seal, thus taking possession of Alaska...for a time. Unfortunately due to their incompetence and interference by varioussss government agencies, the seal ended up in the hands of the United Sssstates government. Until now.

You ssssee, while all of you received whatever ridiculous, useless knicknack from your homes a few weeks ago, I actually received sssssomething useful! The Seal of Alaska! Which according to the language of the treaty, means that I, Cobra Commander, am now the rightful owner of ssssaid state!

[And clearly having a gaudy jeweled goblet that signifies ownership of land that isn't even in this world is cause for him to cackle. So he's just going to laugh until the feed ends.]

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