68 | Video

Mar. 17th, 2013 08:27 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (HOGWASSSSH)
[Cobra Commander had planned for this video to be a triumphant announcement of his new alliance with the Fuchsia City Gym. However, since that didn’t happen, any viewers will be greeted by Cobra screaming at the Gear. The background is partially obscured by one of the segments making up his Steelix’s body, but he’s definitely outside.]

I cannot believe thisssss! How dare they! How dare they laugh at me! Is this thing recording? Good! I would like all of you to watch what happens next! Burn thisss into your memory because thisss is what will eventually happen to everyone who dares make a mockery of Cobra Commander! Vilevole! Charge! Ram that building!

[That Steelix is moving, and even though he already announced the target, Cobra turns the camera to show that it’s on a collision course with the Fuchsia City Gym.]

Now! Blow that place to bits! Explosion!

[Once Steelix hits the building, it starts glowing and then…BOOM! The building’s clearly not blown to bits, but Cobra’s still going to consider it a job well done. He’ll just turn the camera back to himself and laugh before ending the feed.]

{OOC: Here’s the Gym attack that was mentioned here! Also for the most part, Cobra will be responding via audio since he doesn’t want anyone to see what direction he’s fleeing in.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DESTRO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW)
[It’s time for the voluntary blackout, but judging from Cobra’s video, he doesn’t seem to be participating. And it’s not that he didn’t hear about it, it’s just that he doesn’t care. But since Cobra’s sick of hearing about it, he’s going to tell everyone how much he doesn’t care.]

Good evening, I have no doubt that by now many of you are busy participating in thisss ridiculous blackout. As you can probably ssssee, I am not. Why? Sssimply because I don’t feel like it! This is complete and utter nonsense! I would ask who cares about the mating habits of sssome bugs, but clearly many of you misguidedly do.

And contrary to what you may think, I’m not making this broadcast to tell you what a sssstupid idea it is, or that you’re all idiots, despite the fact that very many of you are and it is incredibly ssstupid. No, I would merely like to tell you to enjoy being able to voluntarily shut off the lights while you ssstill can. Because you never know when someone might put them out permanently!

[And now that he’s delivered yet another vague threat with no real intention of following up on it, he’ll cackle and cut the feed.]

66 | Video

Dec. 30th, 2012 09:54 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[Today’s video shows one side of a room, with donation boxes lined up along the wall. The same boxes that for the past few weeks have been out on the streets, just sitting there in the hopes that people will contribute something to help the needy. And after the recent legendary rampage, there’s certainly a lot more need for such a thing than there was before.

Too bad that the contents aren’t going to anyone deserving, which might be clear once Cobra steps on screen.]


By now these should look familiar to mosssst of you. Several of these boxes were left in various areas, in the hopes that ssssomeone would contribute their hard earned money or items in a misssguided attempt to help those less fortunate. While such actions are typically considered noble by ssssociety, this was nothing more than stupidity on your parts!

And why, you may ask, was it ssstupid? Because! None of these items are going to charity! And before any of you accuse me of theft, they never were! I haven’t ssstolen anything! Merely collected the receptacles I had delivered in the firsssst place! That’s right. There’s no benevolent company or charitable organization behind this! There never was! The entire thing was always a Cobra operation!

[There’s no cackling here since apparently Cobra has more to say.]

But I couldn’t have done thisss alone. No, of course not. Which is why in return for their excellent assistance, I will be making a rather large donation to Team Rocket. The donation will of course, come from the proceeds so generously donated to Cobra by all of you. And that is something I want all of you to think about.

Think about what your charity and ssso called Christmas ssspirit have gotten you! Or perhaps I should say what it will get you! The answer, for those of you too ssstupid to figure it out, is more acts of terror! Acts of terror funded by your generous donations! Perhaps next time you’ll think twice before deciding to help sssssomeone! After all, they could just be exploiting your compassion and generosity like I did!

[And now there’s the obligatory evil laughter to end Cobra’s broadcast.]

{OOC: And here’s the reveal of the scheme detailed in this post.}

65 | Video

Dec. 14th, 2012 07:54 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (WHO LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AGAIN?)
Can you believe thissss nonsense?

[From the video, it looks like Cobra Commander’s wandered outside today to show everyone a box. Some people may have already seen them by now.]

Charity? Charity? I don’t know whose sssstupid idea this was, but I hope it fails! Collecting things for a good cause! Things like thissss sicken me! Who would be ssstupid enough to donate to charity?

[That should probably be enough to convince anyone that Cobra Commander is the last person who would be behind such a thing, but since when does Cobra have the sense to refrain from overdoing something?]

And if it wasn’t bad enough already, it’s Christmas charity! That’s even worse! Well, they’re not getting ssssso much as a cent from me! Ever! And I pity anyone ssstupid enough to give them anything!

[There. That should be enough, so he’ll end the feed there.]

{OOC: Post to go with this. Figured Cobra throwing a public fit about it would work better to distance himself from it.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSTOP LAUGHING AT ME)
[The video today is somewhat different from Cobra’s normal videos. For one, it’s outside. Two, he hasn’t really gone to any lengths to hide his location. Lavender Town’s music can clearly be heard in the background. Three, he has the camera pointed to the sky.]

Look!

[He’ll just leave it on as the sun sets and the moon rises, displaying…the same moon there always is. At this point, the video begins to resemble a usual Cobra broadcast since he’s not very happy about whatever it is he was trying to show.]

What? Imposssible! I distinctly remember-

[A bunch of scattered things, but he’s pretty sure the moon was involved somehow.]

Why is there nothing there? Thisss can't be!

[And Cobra shuts off the Gear there since whatever he wanted to show people isn’t there. Apparently he wasted several minutes of the viewer's time for nothing.]

{OOC: So since we’re allowed to remember things from this 4th Wall, Cobra Commander remembers flying towards the moon with the intent of doing something. What exactly that was and whether he succeeded or not is unfortunately something he doesn’t really recall. He’s going to assume he succeed though because he can’t see how he could fail at anything!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSEATBELTS ARE FOR LOSERS)
[When the feed clicks on, there’s uh, this thing. Don’t worry though, Johto hasn’t been invaded by aliens from the planet where color coordination and fashion go to die, it’s just Cobra Commander. Which should be clear once he starts talking.]

People of Johto, today is a truly momentous occasion. Today, I ssset my sights much higher than I have in the past, and what I accomplish today will never be forgotten! Ever! Behold!

[And he’ll turn the camera now to show off his Skarmory, which everyone has probably seen before. But today, it’s a little different. There’s a few oddly dressed pilots hanging around it, rigging some sort of harness to it. The crazy man in the spacesuit might not be their Commander, but this is hardly the first time that they’ve seen a new Cobra Commander. Attached to the harness seem to be a number of Pokeballs which were drafted into Cobra’s service instead of being kept by the Star-Vipers, each one containing another flying Pokemon.

But enough about that, he’s spent too much time filming things that aren’t him, so he’ll turn the camera back to his helmet now.]


I suggest you all keep an eye on the sssky, because I plan to leave quite the impression on it! One that will last forever!

[And what would a Cobra Commander broadcast be without the customary cackling to close out the video?]

{OOC: SO

Cobra’s plan is to do this. OBVIOUSLY, THIS WILL NOT GO AS PLANNED. Feel free to jump in whenever whether it be during the prep, after takeoff, or in between failed attempts. He’ll be responding to the Gear during flights too. Just let me know when!

Oh, and he is armed, but uh, his lasers will hilariously miss anything that isn't a vehicle.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
[The following broadcast from the Commander is audio only, and he is definitely not in a good mood about things. Then again that’s what happens when he expects victory and instead gets defeat. Especially when said defeat was seen by an entire stadium’s worth of people.]

Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: that idiot won out of luck, not sssskill!

[He is of course, referring to his tournament match against Crow Hogan. Which was won using a smart strategy, not luck!]

Luck! That’s all! There’s no way he could’ve have beaten me otherwise! No way! And not one of you had better say anything different! Or else! One thing’s for ssssure though, I’m going to enjoy watching his next opponent, whoever it may be, wipe the floor with him!

[The transmission ends there.]

60 | Video

Oct. 15th, 2012 05:59 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[For the first time in almost a month, Cobra Commander is making a video broadcast for everyone in Johto to see. He’s hiding out in a room in Blackthorn, but has made sure to conceal anything that would pinpoint his whereabouts. The camera’s pointed at the room’s desk, specifically at the complete set of Johto badges sitting on top of it.]

And that makes eight. For being the last one, I expected more of a challenge, but I suppose that was too much to ask for. You would think that a Gym Leader would be prepared to deal with level 100 Pokémon, but apparently not.

[It had been a relatively close battle until Cobra Commander brought in some of his level 100 Pokémon to finish off Clair’s team. Having thirty levels on the opponent’s Pokémon provided an advantage he definitely wouldn’t have had otherwise.]

But my complete obliteration of Johto’s Gyms over the course of a year is hardly the only thing I want to talk about today.

[He’ll reposition the camera now so it’s pointing at his mask, which means he wants to address the audience.]

I take it you all ssstill remember the recent environmental disaster in Azalea Town?

[Which sounds way more impressive than just saying he poisoned the Slowpoke Well.]

Well, I have some information to reveal about that. A certain idiot decided to go help clean up the mess. I’m not sure who knows him, but he made a rather angry broadcast directed at me soon after it happened.

[Cobra pauses here. He wants to be as dramatic as possible with this one. He wants other people to think he’s responsible for this even though he’s not. ]

It was his last!

[He’ll just let that sink in before continuing.]

As some of you may have noticed, Zulf’s gear signal stopped being registered some time ago! And I assure you it is no coincidence that it happened after he decided to expose himself to the various toxins contaminating Sssslowpoke Well. No, it’s no coincidence at all! Merely a reminder of what my Pokémon, and by extension what I, Cobra Commander, am capable of! Let that be a lesson to those who get in my way!

[It is actually a coincidence, but Cobra’s not going to let that stop him from filling the rest of the video with maniacal laughter until it ends.]

{OOC: Olivine, Mahogany, and Blackthorn badges were all mod approved over the past month or so! And Cobra taking advantage of Zulf's disappearance was cleared with the mun!}

58 | Audio

Sep. 11th, 2012 03:20 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T YOU DARE!)
When are these sssstorms going to end?

[For those listening in, there’s the typical cave music and…splashing? Also some sounds that could be the noise from Grimers moving around.]

This is ridiculoussss! I’ve devoted countless hours to planning my attack, and now I can’t do anything! Not a sssingle thing!

[Cobra’s way too mad to bother with lying or trying to not look completely harmless here.]

How could thisss happen a second time? I haven’t been here in years, and yet the ssssame thing happens that happened last time! This is no mere coincidence! No, it can’t be! It had better not be! So help me if I find out that any of you or your Pokémon are responsssible for this, there will be consequences! Dire consequences!

[What follows next is a rather odd noise. The sound of a combat boot connecting with and sinking into muck. It seems that at that the end of his fit, Cobra Commander decided to kick his Grimer, and now his foot is stuck.]

What is thissss? Unhand me at once! Right now! I’m your trainer, and you will do as I ssssay!

[There’s a thud as the Grimer lets go and Cobra hits the ground. Unfortunately, the Gear also hits the ground, ending the audio broadcast there.]

57 | Audio

Sep. 6th, 2012 02:22 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I BELIEVE THISSS CALLS FOR A SSSSPEECH)
[When the recording starts, it doesn’t seem like Cobra Commander’s ready to start his address since he’s talking to himself.]

What an idiot. Of course, he’s impressed by my Bug-Types. The forces of Cobra are always impresssssive!

[Oh, right, he was recording an audio message. He should probably start addressing the Gear now.]

This is Cobra Commander ssspeaking.

[Because who else would be hissing and talking about cobras?]

I’ve recently collected the badge from this place, and even though thissss was no difficult accomplishment, I’ve decided to celebrate my victory! How, you may ask? By attacking somewhere, of course! But not just anywhere! No, I’ve decided to treat myself! And I’m going to do that by ruining the place I hate the most! I hope you all enjoy failing at figuring out where that is!

[And the feed cuts off right there. No hysterics, cackling, or anything like that this time around. He wants to give out as little information as possible.]

{OOC: Badge is of course mod approved, and there’s more information about Cobra’s plan in this post}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOW I AM GOING TO POINT AT THINGSSSS)
[Unless someone really likes the background music for Route 36, there's not much worth listening to in the background.]

It’s a shame that I can’t ssstay longer. I’ve always liked Violet City. After all, that was the first place I chose to prove that I am not the harmless joke some of you idiots ssstill incorrectly seem to think that I am! And believe me, I can do it again! From what I’ve ssseen the security in thisss town is as lax as ever!

[There’s nothing but route music for a few moments while he calms down. He wasn’t planning on making this broadcast to yell at everyone, so he’d like to get things back on track.]
But I digress. The reason I’m taking the time out of my busy day to ssspeak with you all is to announce that I have defeated the Violet City Gym! It was an overwhelming victory! In fact, you could say that I even conquered it!

[Just in case that was too subtle, he’ll clarify.]

And while I realize that most of you don’t care about my victory, I’m curious what a certain someone who made a certain bet has to sssay about it!

[Without bothering to explain who, Cobra cuts the feed.]

Private Text to Kato )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (COBRAAAAAAAAAAAA ATTAAAAAAACK)
[As if the Pokémon Centers being destroyed yesterday wasn’t enough chaos, Cobra Commander’s decided to launch an attack of his own today. The video feed displays the entrance to the Saffron City Gym, and no, he didn’t ice over someone’s door again. Instead, a Hyper Beam from somewhere behind the camera blasts the doors open. And if the Gear signal wasn’t enough evidence as to the attacker’s identity, Cobra Commander yelling orders probably is.]

Excellent! Now that the entrance is breached, attack! Attack!

[Several of Cobra’s more loyal Pokémon, like Arbok, Abomasnow, and Skarmory can be seen heading through what’s left of the doors before the feed cuts out.]

{OOC: Network responses will be during the attack, and for action, feel free to confront him either inside the Gym where he’s making a mess of things or while he’s trying to make an escape. Just let me know which one!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CITISSSENS OF THE WORLD)
[Today, Cobra Commander is once again broadcasting on the Rocket frequency. From the feed, it appears that he's in some sort of office. He’s seated a desk with a number of shipping invoices and other harbor related documents scattered on top of it.]

Thisss is Cobra Commander speaking. To those of you working on that list, what progress have you made? It’s been over a month since I last asked, so I should hope that some sort of progressss has been made. Report in if you have anything!

[Cobra Commander glares at the camera for a moment before continuing. Someone had better have something to report by now. Or else he’ll be forced to lecture people about what happens when they disappoint him.]

And in case anyone feels that they need to know what I'm doing in thisss place, the answer is work! Lots of work! I’ve recently been transferred to Vermillion City to oversssee Team Rocket’s ssshipping concerns. In addition to that, I have been conducting ssssurvelliance on an individual in thisss city! Surveillance that I believe will be well worth the time invested when it’s finished! And that's all you need to know for now!

49 | Video

May. 31st, 2012 04:24 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (OH GOD GET IT AWAY)
[Cobra Commander actually managed to do things this week besides complain, and because of that, there’s two badges sitting on the table in the video. The Rainbow Badge and the Thunder Badge to be precise. Meaning for those who keep track of these things, he can actually use Fly now, obtained Strength, Giga Drain, and Thunder, all of which will be put to use at some point.]

Sssso that makes four. Three Gyms in Kanto, and one in Johto, and none of them have been worth the effort! Not a ssssingle one! I'm amazed that you people even bother with going around, trying to get them a-

[His rant is cut short as a Haunter sneaks up behind him, and in one quick move, yanks the hood off of his head. The camera moves from the badges to the laughing Haunter holding his mask.]

What? Give that back! Right now!

[The feed cuts out there.]

{OOC: Badges are mod approved, of course.

He'll be responding after he manages to get his mask back.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (COSTUME CHANGES FOR EVERYONE!)
[The screen shows water. Water as far as the eye can see. Cobra Commander takes a moment to turn around showing off water, water, and guess what? More water. He’s standing on a tiny island on the right side of Route 21, but has no idea where that is. And tiny might not do it justice, there’s barely enough room for him and the six Arboks that have replaced his team to stand on.

He turns the camera to his face and reveals a rather odd change of clothes and begins speaking. Judging from his tone, he’s managed to turn a horrible negative into a positive.]

Good evening, Johto! I would like all of you to see this wonderful moment! The moment where I, Cobra Commander claim a piece of thissss wretched land as my own! Behold! Cobra Island! The first of many Cobra ssstrongholds throughout this world! Try and take it from me if you dare!

[With a cackle, he hits the button and closes the feed.]

47 | Audio

May. 23rd, 2012 07:55 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[After spending the past week, slumped over in his room unconscious, there were a few things that Cobra Commander should probably be concerned about. But those can wait, because he’d rather turn on his gear and cackle like a madman for the next few minutes over the network.]

Oh, thisss is truly the perfect thing to wake up to. Unlike before, when I was so rudely ripped away from taking back what was rightfully mine; thisss time there wasn’t anything like that! Meaning conquering Johto and making all of you miserable is now my number one priority! This place now has my complete and undivided attention! And that means-

[He stops there, not really feeling up to continuing his tirade at the moment. Spending a week without any sort of food, or any sort of water beyond what his Pokemon could get probably had something to do with that.]

Just think about what that means!

[The feed ends there, and about an hour later, another one starts on the Rocket channel. It’s short and straight to the point.]
Private Audio for Rockets )

46 | Audio

May. 10th, 2012 03:44 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (COBRAAAAAAAA RETREAAAAAAAAT)
[Surprisingly enough, Cobra Commander isn’t broadcasting to mock anyone today. He’s still stuck in Diglett’s Cave, but at this point he’d much rather be inside than out there. Maybe Team Rocket was on to something by hiding the transmitter in this godforsaken place after all.

In addition to his voice, the sounds of the storm can be heard outside. He moved further into the cave once things got bad, but it's sill pretty loud.]

This is ridiculousss! Absolutely ridiculous! What is with this weather? We’ve had bad weather in Johto before, but this is truly ssssomething else! It almost reminds of the Weather Dominator back home...or that Egyptian debacle.

[Say didn’t this all start after Team Rocket captured that thing? Nah, must be a coincidence.]

Also, I’ve heard there were ssseveral power outages? Does anyone know which areas are affected? And no, I’m not up to anything! There’s no way I’d go out during a ssstorm like this! No way at all!

44 | Text

Apr. 29th, 2012 02:51 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (HAHAHAHAHA)
[Private Text to Stitch]
Contact me as soon as you get this. We need to talk about that job I offered.

[Private Text to Rockets]
If you’ve made any progress with that list, report in.

[It’s only been a few days, but the Commander’s already expecting some sort of results. After all, the way he sees it, these Rockets should be devoting any and all spare time they have to investigating and eliminating the threats he announced earlier in the week.]

[Public Audio to All of Johto]
Once again, all the people who swore I’d pay for my crimes have completely failed at bringing me to any sort of justice. For thisss, I applaud your efforts Johto. You’ve managed to reach a new level of incompetence that even I, Cobra Commander, thought was imposssssible!

[Instead of cackling, there’s a round of applause before the audio cuts out.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (WHAT'SSSSS THAT OVER THERE)
It has been twenty four hours, and I am not one million dollars richer. Nor I am the owner of the HM Fly. And I’m definitely not the owner of a city! So you leave me no choice!

[There’s a click as he pushes the button, but no giant explosion. Inside the Game Corner, a lone bomb goes off taking out a slot machine and doing light damage to the wall and things around it, but that’s it.]

What? Where is my explosion? Did they actually- Impossible! This is unacceptable!

[The sound of the remote hitting the wall and cracking can be heard.]

Make no mistake about thisssss Johto! There will be consequences for thissss! Dire consequences!

[The feed cuts out here.]

37 | Video

Mar. 6th, 2012 09:21 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CITISSSENS OF THE WORLD)
[Hey look, it’s Trubbish again. Not much has changed over the past couple weeks. It still looks like a happy trash bag. What has changed is the Commander’s attitude about it. He sounds pretty happy, nowhere near how he acted around Valentine’s Day, but still pretty pleased about the “garbage” he’s showing all of Johto. Especially after he realized what it was, with no help from anyone else, of course.]

Guesssss what, Johto? I was wrong! It’s not garbage! It’s a Pokémon! And not just any ordinary Pokémon! It sssspews poison gas! Isn’t that amazing?

[Despite his question, he doesn't really care if anyone else shares his enthusiasm for using Pokémon for things like this.]

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