101 | Video

Mar. 1st, 2015 07:50 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (BEING SSSSSNEAKY)
[Today we have Cobra Commander on the Gear, looking well, about the same as always. It's hard to figure out where he is, but judging from the bgm and the metal walls, a ship is probably a good guess? But which ferry? Or cruiseliner? That's the question.]

I've decided that after my unfortunate...outburssst last month, that a change of sssscenery was overdue.

[That's not really an apology for screaming at everyone in private and public, but it's certainly something at least?]

And it has done wonders for providing me with a new outlook on life.

[Though...what that means isn't exactly a conversation for today.]

However, everything I sssssaid last time still applies. Everything.

[In other words, he's still furious.]

And ssssome of it will apply ssssooner than you think.

[Having been as cryptic as possible, he kills the feed there. He'll answer any responses of course, but as to what he's talking about, he'll keep that under his hood for now.]

{OOC: Curious as to what this is about? Head over here for more info!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
[Remember last time when Cobra was too busy to rant about the earthquakes? Well, things have changed now.]

Enough! Enough with these sssstupid earthquakes already! Thissss is what? The fifth one? How is anyone supposed to get anything important done with thissss nonsense constantly going on?

[He's exaggerating, but hey, some people were in the middle of sketching blueprints for future plans when the constant shaking messed that whole thing up. Now he's got some torn paper, and lines gouged into his desk. It's a minor problem, but this is not something that should happen to the future ruler of the world, okay?]

Is thisss entire world on a fault line?

[Admittedly, that doesn't make any sense, but does anything here ever make sense?.]

Even when I managed to weaponize earthquakes in my world, they were hardly the nuisssance this is! Thisss is completely insufferable! Inssssssufferable!

[And that concludes today's tantrum.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT MY FACE MY BEAUTIFUL FASSSE)
[Today's video is Cobra Commander, who appears to be back in his usual blue outfit. With another prom over and done with, his one decent set of clothes has disappeared into whatever closet it lives in for most of the year.]

I would like to set the record straight about a few things that happened over the weekend. First, ssssome of you may have seen me doing the unthinkable at that ridiculoussss gathering. Yes, I was in fact...

[Hang on. He's having trouble actually putting this into words. The indignity of it all.]

Fine! I'll come out and sssay it. I was washing dishes!

[There. He said it.]

But what I would like to make completely clear is that I was not forced to! Yessss, I was told to, but if I had decided not to go along with it, I could have easily refused! In fact, I could have made sure that no one ever asked me to do ssssuch a menial chore again!

[Overreacting? Nope, not him.]

Which brings me to the second thing I would like to point out. If anyone, anyone at all thinks they can force me to some ridiculousssss chore again, I don't care who they are, I will make sure that they regret ever attempting to do so!

[The feed ends there, so apparently that's it.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DESTRO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW)
[Hey Johto, Kanto! Guess who finally got out of that Well, hopped on his Skarmory, and plans on never returning to Azalea Town again?

Cobra Commander has video on, and is using one of those nondescript Rocket base rooms again. Also, he’s still in a noticeably bad mood after the past few days.]


First of all, while I was …detained over the past few days, I received at least three messages full of ssssome garbage about Beedrills and crushes and I don’t even remember what else! But it was ssstupid and reading them was a waste of my time! Those of you who decided to ssspend your time sending me this ridiculous nonsense should consider yourselves lucky that I have no way of finding out who you are! Otherwise, you would regret the decision to send those messages for the rest of your natural lives!

[His life was already sucking by being trapped in the well. Hearing about his true crush and Skuntanks didn’t exactly make things better.]

Now then, as you all should remember, I promised to attack the place I hate the most in Johto! And I did! No doubt you were all out sssearching, probably even in that horrible weather, trying to ssstop me! And you failed! So without any further delay, allow me to reveal my plan!

[Despite what he said, he’s going to delay the announcement for dramatic effect.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Okay, now!]


I poisoned the Slowpoke Well! And there’s nothing any of you can do about it now!

[There’s the usual villainous laughter from Cobra as the feed ends.]

Private Text to Kato )

47 | Audio

May. 23rd, 2012 07:55 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[After spending the past week, slumped over in his room unconscious, there were a few things that Cobra Commander should probably be concerned about. But those can wait, because he’d rather turn on his gear and cackle like a madman for the next few minutes over the network.]

Oh, thisss is truly the perfect thing to wake up to. Unlike before, when I was so rudely ripped away from taking back what was rightfully mine; thisss time there wasn’t anything like that! Meaning conquering Johto and making all of you miserable is now my number one priority! This place now has my complete and undivided attention! And that means-

[He stops there, not really feeling up to continuing his tirade at the moment. Spending a week without any sort of food, or any sort of water beyond what his Pokemon could get probably had something to do with that.]

Just think about what that means!

[The feed ends there, and about an hour later, another one starts on the Rocket channel. It’s short and straight to the point.]
Private Audio for Rockets )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Ssssssssssssshooting you now)
[Hey Johto? See those blue lasers flying across New Bark Town? Hear Cobra Commander’s maniacal laughter? Someone’s really happy about Johto playing tricks on him for once. Especially since they gave him back a standard issue MARS Industries laser rifle this time.]

Ahahahahaha! This is wonderful! Wonderful!

[More shooting. He’s murdering the poor defenseless New Bark Town sign. This is clearly the first step in conquering Johto: killing signs. ]

No one can ssstop me now! No one!

{OOC: His aim is just as bad as everyone’s in his canon, so any laser fire will fly harmlessly over people’s heads.}

26 | Video

Jun. 25th, 2011 02:22 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (IDIOTS! I HAVE IDIOTS ON MY PAYROLL)
One question, Johto.

[The scene is very different from the Commander’s last transmission. For starters, he’s inside the Goldenrod Pokémon center this time. More importantly, he isn’t lying in a soulless heap this time around.

He cleared his throat and proceeded to yell as loudly as possible, most likely annoying anyone else in the center around him.]

I know I’m not the only one this happened to. So, did anyone else have horrible dreams about dead things, and giant robots, giant skeleton monsters, and other nonssssense? For a week? What the heck was that all about?

[Actually that was three questions, but the Commander really didn’t care. He was just relieved to be awake and away from all that horrible stuff.]

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