95 | Video

Dec. 1st, 2014 02:21 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
No! No! No! No! No!

[...that sure is Cobra Commander throwing a fit in what appears to be Azalea Town. Apparently he's not happy everything's back to normal now.]

I don't care if thissss happens all the time, this is unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! I want my command center back and I want it back now! I dissstinctly remember having one!

[ He remembers a building and pushing buttons. Something may have been launched. That's about it. He doesn't even remember where it was, which leads to his next demand.]

And directions to where it is! Because it certainly wasn't in thissss miserable place!

[Yup, for the record, he still hates Azalea Town. In fact...]

If anything, ssssomeone should raze thisss stupid town to the ground and replace it with something useful!

[He's not going to do that today though. No, instead he's probably going to fly out of here right away and go somewhere that doesn't inspire him to cause new acts of stupidity.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT AGAIN WHY DOES THISSS KEEP HAPPENING)
[Today was supposed to be the big day for Cobra. The day when everything went right. Certainly not the day where it rained on the morning on his attack, making it a pain to record video or take photos. And certainly not the day where his metal bird got shot out of the sky by Raichu. He was actually glad there wasn't any footage of that.

Really, it'd been a mixed bag at best. He'd done some damage, but retreat and recovery had been a complete disaster. Hopefully, the others did better.]


This morning the Vermilion City Gym was the target of a carefully planned aerial attack by Cobra forces. Let this be a reminder to you all that I can sssstrike anywhere at anytime. Anywhere! Without warning if I sssso choose!

[And not that he really feels like it, but there's some villainous laughter at the end of the public feed. Now to check in with the others.]

[Private Audio to Attack Volunteers]

By now your attacks should be underway, if not already finished. So I demand to know the results of them. Report in as ssssoon as you hear thissss message! And you better have succeeded!
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NO ONE ARRESTS COBRA COMMANDER)
Thissss is impossible!

[What the video shows might be confusing to some since Cobra is somehow back in jail. And in complete disbelief over it. ]

Imposssssible! How? I demand an explanation for thisss!

[Not an explanation for how he got here so much as one that explains why he can’t get out. Not with his Pokémon, and not with the weird hairdryer thing laser pistol he’s waving in front of the camera. And last time he checked, the buildings here shouldn’t be blastproof.]

I demand to know who is responsible for thisss…thisss…thissss impossible reincarceration! Once I find you, I’ll have you shot for thisssss! Do you hear me? Shot!

[He hasn’t exactly figured out how he’s going to shoot someone through this glitched cell though.]

And ssssomeone get me out of here! Now! I don't care what else is going on! This should be your number one priority!
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (YOU BORE ME)
[Cobra’s on the Rocket frequency today, looking about the same as ever.]

Eight days. For eight days I was incarcerated and unable use thisss device without having some idiot guard watching over my shoulder. And a lot can happen in eight days. The entire balance of the world can change. Obviousssly, this is not the case, but still, I would like to know what if anything, was accomplished during those eight days.

[That would be Cobra’s way of asking why only one person bothered to break him out of jail and what everyone else was doing.]

Private Text to Frank Archer )

Private Text to Jeane )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Default)
[So instead of an audio tirade, there’s a short, simple text from Cobra Commander being sent out on the Rocket channel. After checking the PC this morning, he’s definitely not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.]

It seems that a number of Rockets are no longer with us. If any of you have recently received a Pokémon from one of them, please respond stating who it belonged to. I’m aware of at least four departures, and if there are more, it needs to be reported immediately.

[Now to try and not throw the PokéGear at something while he waits. Given that he’s already thrown an office chair, his helmet, and various papers around the room, there’s a good chance that the PokéGear’s next.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSSO MANY SHUPPETSSSSS)
Private Video for Rockets )

[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.


Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander
]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!)
Private )

[Public Video]

[Cobra Commander has the camera pointing right at his faceplate. The background music today is that of Vermillion City. Like last time, he’s not worried about concealing his whereabouts today.]

I was told to wait until the chaos settled down, but as you all should know by now, I care little for opinions that aren’t my own! But I’m getting ahead of myself! You’ll see what I’m talking about soon enough!

Now then, as most of you should know by now, I was robbed recently! What you may not know is that I spent latter portion of last month tracking down and recovering what was stolen! And while I was out, I took the liberty of challenging two more of these Gym things!

[He’ll just move things around, so he can show off the Fog Badge and Storm Badge he picked up.]

But as some of you know, I’ve recently found a much more satisfying way to deal with these Gyms! Which brings me to the point of thissss video! Behold! My next target! The Vermillion City Gym!

[The next shot should look pretty familiar to anyone who watched his last video. It’s the front of the Vermillion City Gym, but there’s no Hyper Beam this time.]

Now then! Overkill! If you would be so kind as to open the door!

[But there is a Scolipede ramming the doors open with Megahorn!]

Excellent! Destroy everything! Everything! COBRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[And the feed cuts out there.]

{OOC: Badges are mod approved! }

52 | Audio

Jul. 3rd, 2012 07:50 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!)
[Cobra Commander’s sticking with audio only for the public portion of this broadcast. After all, there are only so many hiding places in Cianwood City. He won’t be here much longer and plans to be on the next ferry to Olivine, but still, one can’t be too careful.]

First! After days of sssearching, I have recovered what was stolen from me! If you thought hiding it here would keep me from finding it, then you were sorely missstaken!

Sssecond! I overheard a very interesting ssstory in one of the Pokémon Centers. It ssssems someone has been spreading lies about me, and I will not tolerate being ssslandered! I want you to know this, whoever you are! Today you have made a powerful enemy and you will regret doing so!

Third! Mr., what was his name?

[There’s the sound of rummaging and papers being moved around as the Commander looks for a certain name.]

Mr. Xehanort, was it? If you’re still here, contact me immediately!

[End of public feed]
Private Audio on the Rocket Channel )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CITISSSENS OF THE WORLD)
[Today, Cobra Commander is once again broadcasting on the Rocket frequency. From the feed, it appears that he's in some sort of office. He’s seated a desk with a number of shipping invoices and other harbor related documents scattered on top of it.]

Thisss is Cobra Commander speaking. To those of you working on that list, what progress have you made? It’s been over a month since I last asked, so I should hope that some sort of progressss has been made. Report in if you have anything!

[Cobra Commander glares at the camera for a moment before continuing. Someone had better have something to report by now. Or else he’ll be forced to lecture people about what happens when they disappoint him.]

And in case anyone feels that they need to know what I'm doing in thisss place, the answer is work! Lots of work! I’ve recently been transferred to Vermillion City to oversssee Team Rocket’s ssshipping concerns. In addition to that, I have been conducting ssssurvelliance on an individual in thisss city! Surveillance that I believe will be well worth the time invested when it’s finished! And that's all you need to know for now!

47 | Audio

May. 23rd, 2012 07:55 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[After spending the past week, slumped over in his room unconscious, there were a few things that Cobra Commander should probably be concerned about. But those can wait, because he’d rather turn on his gear and cackle like a madman for the next few minutes over the network.]

Oh, thisss is truly the perfect thing to wake up to. Unlike before, when I was so rudely ripped away from taking back what was rightfully mine; thisss time there wasn’t anything like that! Meaning conquering Johto and making all of you miserable is now my number one priority! This place now has my complete and undivided attention! And that means-

[He stops there, not really feeling up to continuing his tirade at the moment. Spending a week without any sort of food, or any sort of water beyond what his Pokemon could get probably had something to do with that.]

Just think about what that means!

[The feed ends there, and about an hour later, another one starts on the Rocket channel. It’s short and straight to the point.]
Private Audio for Rockets )

46 | Audio

May. 10th, 2012 03:44 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (COBRAAAAAAAA RETREAAAAAAAAT)
[Surprisingly enough, Cobra Commander isn’t broadcasting to mock anyone today. He’s still stuck in Diglett’s Cave, but at this point he’d much rather be inside than out there. Maybe Team Rocket was on to something by hiding the transmitter in this godforsaken place after all.

In addition to his voice, the sounds of the storm can be heard outside. He moved further into the cave once things got bad, but it's sill pretty loud.]

This is ridiculousss! Absolutely ridiculous! What is with this weather? We’ve had bad weather in Johto before, but this is truly ssssomething else! It almost reminds of the Weather Dominator back home...or that Egyptian debacle.

[Say didn’t this all start after Team Rocket captured that thing? Nah, must be a coincidence.]

Also, I’ve heard there were ssseveral power outages? Does anyone know which areas are affected? And no, I’m not up to anything! There’s no way I’d go out during a ssstorm like this! No way at all!

41 | Text

Apr. 13th, 2012 01:42 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (TAKES A SSSTRONG STOMACH TO SEE MY FACE)
Private Texts to Kimblee and Kato )

[With that taken care of, the following message is sent out on the public network, in text of course, since Cobra Commander is still of the opinion that no one knows who he is if he sticks to text.]

I have a question for all of Johto. If someone asked you to pick your favorite place in all of Johto, where would it be?

{OOC: Private texts are related to this. Throwing out the link again in case anyone else is interested in participating.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NO ONE ARRESTS COBRA COMMANDER)
And you people say I’m all talk. You should all be ashamed! For all the talk of capturing me, hunting me down, making me pay, and so on, I’m still free. Not only that, but I’ve already made it back to Goldenrod. So much for tracking me. And since it seems that none of my demands were met, I’ve begun planning my next attack! And there’s nothing you can do about it!

Private Audio on Rocket Frequency )

35 | Video

Feb. 14th, 2012 04:42 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (HAHAHAHAHA)
[The camera’s focusing on a half-eaten box of chocolates and a mysterious Pokemon egg, but something’s pretty off with the Commander’s voice. He’s still yelling, but he doesn’t sound as angry as he usually does. In fact he sounds happy. Very happy. As if having his security breached for the umpteenth time is just the most wonderful thing ever.]

Who put thissss here? I want a name! And where did this egg come from? Why does this keep happening?

[And then he starts laughing. It stops after a few minutes. Sort of. He’s still giggling while he talks.]

And why can I sssstop acting like this? Have I been drugged? What’s going on? Someone-

[And back to uncontrollable laughter again.]

Ssssomeone explain this right now!

33 | Video

Dec. 25th, 2011 03:06 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I'm lisssssssssssssstening)
[For anyone wandering the halls of the Rocket bases, lots of yelling and scraping can be heard through the door of the Commander’s room.]

Over there! No! A little more to the left! Perfect! That’s perfect! Skull Buster, leave it there!

[When his gear begins broadcasting, it shows the Commander sitting in this chair with the care package in a box on his lap.]

People of the world! Are you enjoying your Christmassss? Enjoy it while you still can!

[Then the laughter starts. It stops soon enough though.]

I demand to know the name of the person responsible for thisss gift! It is abssssolutely exquissssite! Just like the one back home on Cobra Island! Tell me now!

[That's it. Wait, no there's something else he wants to mention.]

Oh, and one last thing, to those of you who received my…gifts, I hope you enjoyed them!

[And more maniacal laughter to close his broadcast.]

{OOC: Yup, instead of something nice and easy to carry around Johto, he gets a giant Cobra throne which poor Machoke will have to carry everywhere.}

30 | Audio

Nov. 2nd, 2011 11:37 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Working on some ridiculous scheme)
Hello, Johto. This is Cobra Commander ssssspeaking. And there’s no need to panic. I don’t plan on harming anyone today. I merely require information about certain individuals in Johto. Two days ago, each of these individuals proclaimed themselves ruler of Johto, and I would like to...convince them otherwise.

[He’ll let that veiled threat sink in before continuing.]

The first individual referred to herself as Queen Minerva Mouse. The second went by the title of King of Hearts. I will reward anyone who provides me with useful information about them, especially their locations. And don't even think about lying to me! Or you'll regret it!

[Click.]

24 | Video

May. 2nd, 2011 12:44 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Sssssssssssstupid Pokemon)
[Once the video starts, the entire screen is filled with Dunsparce's face.



It’s hard to tell how the Dunsparce feels about having a camera shoved in its face so soon after hatching since it has the same expression most Dunsparce have. Apparently deciding Johto has seen enough of his new Pokémon, the confused Commander turns the camera away from Dunsparce so that he can be seen. ]

Thissss…this thing hatched from the egg I was given. The Pokedex states that it is a Land Snake Pokémon. But it has wings! And looks like a bug! Sssso what is it? Snakes don’t look like thissssss! Tell me what you know about this Pokémon! Now!

[He grumbles shifting the view back to Dunsparce, which is trying to dig into the ground.]

It also states that it tends to flee when spotted. It ssssounds useless! Why was I given such a useless creature?
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (IDIOTS! I HAVE IDIOTS ON MY PAYROLL)
There are so many products at the Department Store for Pokémon. Which ones do you use? And why? Which ones improve the ability to battle? Which Technical Machines would allow a Machop to strike a ghost Pokémon? If you can answer any of these, your help would be greatly appreciated.

Action for Department Store )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (RETREAT RETREAAAAAAAAAAAT)
[He sounds more nervous than angry.]

Would someone pleas explain what is going on? One minute I'm minding my own business and then I'm in Goldenrod! Furthermore-

[Multiple cries of Ditto can be heard.]

What is this? Go away you horrible things! Go Zubat! Take care of them!

[Instead of a Zubat, there's another Ditto cry.]

My Pokemon! What happened to my Pokemon? No get away from me!

[The audio cuts out as Cobra Commander is swarmed by Dittos.]

{OOC: Went ahead and got this posted tonight because I'll probably be swamped tomorrow. Responses will probably be slow tomorrow, but I'll do my best to try and keep up.}

12 | Audio

Nov. 16th, 2010 03:14 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Telling you about my ridiculous scheme)
I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my outburst the other day. Attempts to contact several of my...comrades have failed, so I've concluded that something else must have happened. Therefore, I would like to request that you provide any and all information about any other similar disappearances and reappearances. For research purposes, of course. Or else!

Furthermore, this setback has not deterred me from training my Ekans. I will have my cobra! And in case any of you have forgotten, nothing will stop me from getting it! So don't even try!

[There is a brief burst of his laughter at the end of the transmission.]

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