60 | Video

Oct. 15th, 2012 05:59 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (MANIACAL LAUGH)
[For the first time in almost a month, Cobra Commander is making a video broadcast for everyone in Johto to see. He’s hiding out in a room in Blackthorn, but has made sure to conceal anything that would pinpoint his whereabouts. The camera’s pointed at the room’s desk, specifically at the complete set of Johto badges sitting on top of it.]

And that makes eight. For being the last one, I expected more of a challenge, but I suppose that was too much to ask for. You would think that a Gym Leader would be prepared to deal with level 100 Pokémon, but apparently not.

[It had been a relatively close battle until Cobra Commander brought in some of his level 100 Pokémon to finish off Clair’s team. Having thirty levels on the opponent’s Pokémon provided an advantage he definitely wouldn’t have had otherwise.]

But my complete obliteration of Johto’s Gyms over the course of a year is hardly the only thing I want to talk about today.

[He’ll reposition the camera now so it’s pointing at his mask, which means he wants to address the audience.]

I take it you all ssstill remember the recent environmental disaster in Azalea Town?

[Which sounds way more impressive than just saying he poisoned the Slowpoke Well.]

Well, I have some information to reveal about that. A certain idiot decided to go help clean up the mess. I’m not sure who knows him, but he made a rather angry broadcast directed at me soon after it happened.

[Cobra pauses here. He wants to be as dramatic as possible with this one. He wants other people to think he’s responsible for this even though he’s not. ]

It was his last!

[He’ll just let that sink in before continuing.]

As some of you may have noticed, Zulf’s gear signal stopped being registered some time ago! And I assure you it is no coincidence that it happened after he decided to expose himself to the various toxins contaminating Sssslowpoke Well. No, it’s no coincidence at all! Merely a reminder of what my Pokémon, and by extension what I, Cobra Commander, am capable of! Let that be a lesson to those who get in my way!

[It is actually a coincidence, but Cobra’s not going to let that stop him from filling the rest of the video with maniacal laughter until it ends.]

{OOC: Olivine, Mahogany, and Blackthorn badges were all mod approved over the past month or so! And Cobra taking advantage of Zulf's disappearance was cleared with the mun!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DESTRO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW)
[Hey Johto, Kanto! Guess who finally got out of that Well, hopped on his Skarmory, and plans on never returning to Azalea Town again?

Cobra Commander has video on, and is using one of those nondescript Rocket base rooms again. Also, he’s still in a noticeably bad mood after the past few days.]


First of all, while I was …detained over the past few days, I received at least three messages full of ssssome garbage about Beedrills and crushes and I don’t even remember what else! But it was ssstupid and reading them was a waste of my time! Those of you who decided to ssspend your time sending me this ridiculous nonsense should consider yourselves lucky that I have no way of finding out who you are! Otherwise, you would regret the decision to send those messages for the rest of your natural lives!

[His life was already sucking by being trapped in the well. Hearing about his true crush and Skuntanks didn’t exactly make things better.]

Now then, as you all should remember, I promised to attack the place I hate the most in Johto! And I did! No doubt you were all out sssearching, probably even in that horrible weather, trying to ssstop me! And you failed! So without any further delay, allow me to reveal my plan!

[Despite what he said, he’s going to delay the announcement for dramatic effect.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Okay, now!]


I poisoned the Slowpoke Well! And there’s nothing any of you can do about it now!

[There’s the usual villainous laughter from Cobra as the feed ends.]

Private Text to Kato )

58 | Audio

Sep. 11th, 2012 03:20 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T YOU DARE!)
When are these sssstorms going to end?

[For those listening in, there’s the typical cave music and…splashing? Also some sounds that could be the noise from Grimers moving around.]

This is ridiculoussss! I’ve devoted countless hours to planning my attack, and now I can’t do anything! Not a sssingle thing!

[Cobra’s way too mad to bother with lying or trying to not look completely harmless here.]

How could thisss happen a second time? I haven’t been here in years, and yet the ssssame thing happens that happened last time! This is no mere coincidence! No, it can’t be! It had better not be! So help me if I find out that any of you or your Pokémon are responsssible for this, there will be consequences! Dire consequences!

[What follows next is a rather odd noise. The sound of a combat boot connecting with and sinking into muck. It seems that at that the end of his fit, Cobra Commander decided to kick his Grimer, and now his foot is stuck.]

What is thissss? Unhand me at once! Right now! I’m your trainer, and you will do as I ssssay!

[There’s a thud as the Grimer lets go and Cobra hits the ground. Unfortunately, the Gear also hits the ground, ending the audio broadcast there.]

57 | Audio

Sep. 6th, 2012 02:22 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I BELIEVE THISSS CALLS FOR A SSSSPEECH)
[When the recording starts, it doesn’t seem like Cobra Commander’s ready to start his address since he’s talking to himself.]

What an idiot. Of course, he’s impressed by my Bug-Types. The forces of Cobra are always impresssssive!

[Oh, right, he was recording an audio message. He should probably start addressing the Gear now.]

This is Cobra Commander ssspeaking.

[Because who else would be hissing and talking about cobras?]

I’ve recently collected the badge from this place, and even though thissss was no difficult accomplishment, I’ve decided to celebrate my victory! How, you may ask? By attacking somewhere, of course! But not just anywhere! No, I’ve decided to treat myself! And I’m going to do that by ruining the place I hate the most! I hope you all enjoy failing at figuring out where that is!

[And the feed cuts off right there. No hysterics, cackling, or anything like that this time around. He wants to give out as little information as possible.]

{OOC: Badge is of course mod approved, and there’s more information about Cobra’s plan in this post}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET NEXT TIME)
[The only background noise is the music in Diglett’s Cave. Cobra Commander’s missing out on all the fun looting and pillaging, so at the very least, he feels that it’s his duty to continue antagonizing the good people of Johto.]

Despite your constant refusals, I have finally received the HM for Fly. I know by now you’re all busy with the recent monster attack, but just keep thisss in mind: I can now be anywhere in Johto at any time! Meaning nowhere is safe from attack! Nowhere!

[Those expecting cackling may be disappointed since the feed cuts out right there. It resumes a little while later, but on the Rocket frequency.]

[Private Video for Rockets]
[There isn’t much to see on the video. The signal scrambler’s in the background, so is Trubbish, who much to the Commander’s dismay is goofing off with some Digletts. That’s really about it.]

As you can see, the device is working perfectly on thissss end. No problems yet.

[He’s still grumbling though. The location could be better. Somewhere that didn’t remind him of his first few months as a Grunt would be nice.]

And Gorthan, I really must congratulate you. Bringing the trash to life and having it menace the towns is most impressssive! Though I am curious, I saw sssome Trubbish through the Gear, and they’re coloring is different. Do you know why?

[Yes, he knows the Rockets are busy, but he doesn’t really care.]

Also, Archer, the creatures hatched. I definitely ssssee several uses for them in the future!

And lastly, as I said I received Fly, but apparently another Badge is required to actually use it. Do any of you know which one? I’d ask everyone, but we all know they’d probably lie, and I do not tolerate being lied to!

{OOC: Fly obtained via Saffron Gym. Badge is mod approved.}

38 | Video

Mar. 15th, 2012 10:49 am
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CITISSSENS OF THE WORLD)
Private Text on Rocket Frequency )

[Cobra Commander has his Gear propped up on a table. He’s standing in front of it, and behind him is a homemade banner, a blue sheet with a crude drawing of the insignia on his outfit.]

For those of you who don’t know who I am, I am Cobra Commander! For those of you who do know, I have no doubt you are reacting in your usual manner. Preparing to laugh at me or better yet, ignore me completely. Well that sssstops right now!

If my demands are not met by tomorrow afternoon, I will carry out more attacks like today’s! Those demands are as follows: 1 million in unmarked bills and the HM for Fly left in a brown bag on the roof of the Goldenrod Department Store, the immediate evacuation of Cianwood City and the creation of a legal document declaring me sole owner of ssssaid city, the immediate release of any Team Rocket members currently held in prison, and, I’m forgetting something, what was it? Oh yes, to be declared absolute ruler of Johto!

As I sssaid earlier, if these demands are not met, there will be more attacks like the one currently in progress. For those not in Violet City, allow me to explain. As we sssspeak, the Pokémon Academy is being flooded with deadly poison gas! And there’s nothing any of you can do to sssstop it! I’ll remind you again, if my demands are not met within the next 24 hours, then you all can expect more attacks in the weeks and months to come!

[The remainder of the feed is just Cobra Commander cackling. It’s a seemingly never ending broadcast of AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA until it finally ends.]

37 | Video

Mar. 6th, 2012 09:21 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CITISSSENS OF THE WORLD)
[Hey look, it’s Trubbish again. Not much has changed over the past couple weeks. It still looks like a happy trash bag. What has changed is the Commander’s attitude about it. He sounds pretty happy, nowhere near how he acted around Valentine’s Day, but still pretty pleased about the “garbage” he’s showing all of Johto. Especially after he realized what it was, with no help from anyone else, of course.]

Guesssss what, Johto? I was wrong! It’s not garbage! It’s a Pokémon! And not just any ordinary Pokémon! It sssspews poison gas! Isn’t that amazing?

[Despite his question, he doesn't really care if anyone else shares his enthusiasm for using Pokémon for things like this.]

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