91 | Video

Sep. 1st, 2014 11:47 am
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSTOP LAUGHING AT ME)
[When the feed starts Cobra's...laughing. It probably has something to do with the fact that he's inside and not caught outside in the torrential downpour of Espurrs. And he's not planning on heading outside until this is all over whenever that may be.]

Brilliant! This is brilliant! I was wondering if anyone would ever try ssssomething like this again!

[He goes on laughing on camera for quite a while before realizing that he should probably explain.]

Oh, that's right. I suppose most of you have absolutely no idea what I'm going on about. And thissss time I'll chalk it up to ignorance and not your overwhelming ssstupidity.

[Okay, now that he's insulted everyone watching, he'll explain.]

Ssssome time ago, a rather...unbalanced individual who used to be here, unleashed a rain of exploding Pineco on Goldenrod City causing untold amounts of dessstruction and devessstation! And as far as I know, he was never caught, ssso I've wondered for some time why no one's tried it again!

[Of course he's leaving out the parts where he didn't like said attack stealing his thunder and had a pinecone explode in his face...but Cobra feels things like that are better off being removed from this Johto history lesson.]

Though it is sssslightly disappointing that the persons responsible didn't bother to teach them Explosion before launching them.

82 | Video

Dec. 29th, 2013 07:04 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (RIDICULOUSSSS SSSSNAKE THRONE)
[Apparently Cobra Commander's going for theatrics with his broadcast today since he's sitting in the giant snake throne he got a couple years back. His faceplate's back on since whoever stole it decided to return it. Which is something he'll probably want to deal with later, but not today. No, today's video is going to be focusing on something much more important.]

In my world, there exissssts a form of military strategy known as mutually assured destruction, which operates under the assumption that if one side strikes the other, both will be wiped out. For the last few months, this has been the ssssituation with myself and with Team Rocket. But sssuch a strategy can only last for so long, so ssssooner or later we were bound to come to some sort of agreement.

[From the side of his chair, Cobra produces a bunch of papers, none of which are close enough to the camera to be readable, and admittedly don't say anything sensible at all really. Just pages and pages of random sentences, but from this distance, it should look official enough.]

I won't bore you all with the details, but in exchange for returning most of their property, I've been granted immunity from further reprisals. Notice I ssssaid most of their property. Contrary to what ssssome of you may think, I am not stupid enough to hand over my only bargaining chip and trussst the word of Team Rocket.

[Yeah, let's just...try and stop the questioning of Cobra's intelligence before it starts this time. Probably won't work, but he tried.]

And just as I am not ssstupid enough to completely trust them, they are not ssstupid enough to trust me. But being a man of my word, I encourage them to, if they feel I've tampered with their rockets in any way, to test them out as sssssoon as possible. And if they choose to test them out on the rest of you, then I can hardly be held responssssible for their choice of targets. Or if I choose to take advantage of the chaossss caused by said tests to further my own ends.

[And there's the end of the public feed, followed by an incredibly short Rocket broadcast a few moments later.]

[Video. Locked to Rockets.]
To those with their assignments, you may begin your final preparations.

{OOC: Still have two targets here if anyone's interested!}

74 | Video

Jun. 21st, 2013 03:58 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
[When the feed starts, there's a clear view of a strange cup of some sort on Cobra's desk. He wanted to show it off sooner, but with the glitches and everything from a couple weeks ago, he figured it best to wait until things calmed down.]

No doubt many of you are wondering what thisssss is, and why I am bringing it your attention. Allow me to explain. As some of you may know, in 1867 the United Sssstates of America purchased Alaska from Russia. What you may not know is that a provision in the treaty involved the transfer of this item, the Seal of Alaska, from the Russian government to the American one. Unfortunately the ship carrying the seal sank, and it was thought lost forever.

However, my operatives were able to recover the seal, thus taking possession of Alaska...for a time. Unfortunately due to their incompetence and interference by varioussss government agencies, the seal ended up in the hands of the United Sssstates government. Until now.

You ssssee, while all of you received whatever ridiculous, useless knicknack from your homes a few weeks ago, I actually received sssssomething useful! The Seal of Alaska! Which according to the language of the treaty, means that I, Cobra Commander, am now the rightful owner of ssssaid state!

[And clearly having a gaudy jeweled goblet that signifies ownership of land that isn't even in this world is cause for him to cackle. So he's just going to laugh until the feed ends.]

Profile

cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Default)
Cobra Commander

June 2015

S M T W T F S
 123 456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930    

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Apr. 24th, 2017 05:02 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios