cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (YOU BORE ME)
[So Cobra Commander's on the Rocket frequency today. Which might seem strange given the whole not so accidental public outing followed by the publicly leaving Team Rocket. And after a brief moment of silence, Cobra's ready to start explaining things.]

No doubt ssssome of you are surprised to see me on thissss channel. I can hardly blame you given the last month or so. However, I ask that you please lisssten to what I have to say before calling this number or reporting it to our ssssuperiors. Yessss, our superiors. Contrary to what you may have seen me say, I've never left Team Rocket. Everything I've done has been part of a carefully created plan to benefit not just myssself but the organization as a whole.

[And yes, that's just the two videos, but hey, he put a lot of work into those.]

First, I appear to lose my standing in the organization. Then, I make it sssseem like I appropriated high tech weaponry the likes of which hasn't been sssseen in this world. Now for the next phase of my plan, I'll return sssaid weaponry to Team Rocket in exchange for immunity. Thussss, publicly seperating myself from Team Rocket and creating the notion that Team Rocket has access to weapons that no one else here does.

Which leads me to the ssssecond reason for thisss video. No one is going to believe these things work without a demonstration. And I happen to have a lissst of targets and a need for volunteers to ssstrike at said targets on a certain date. I will provide more detailssss once I know who is interested. Given the nature of my plans, information will unfortunately have to be compartmentalized and restricted for the time being.

{OOC: There are more details as well as OOC signups here!}

74 | Video

Jun. 21st, 2013 03:58 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
[When the feed starts, there's a clear view of a strange cup of some sort on Cobra's desk. He wanted to show it off sooner, but with the glitches and everything from a couple weeks ago, he figured it best to wait until things calmed down.]

No doubt many of you are wondering what thisssss is, and why I am bringing it your attention. Allow me to explain. As some of you may know, in 1867 the United Sssstates of America purchased Alaska from Russia. What you may not know is that a provision in the treaty involved the transfer of this item, the Seal of Alaska, from the Russian government to the American one. Unfortunately the ship carrying the seal sank, and it was thought lost forever.

However, my operatives were able to recover the seal, thus taking possession of Alaska...for a time. Unfortunately due to their incompetence and interference by varioussss government agencies, the seal ended up in the hands of the United Sssstates government. Until now.

You ssssee, while all of you received whatever ridiculous, useless knicknack from your homes a few weeks ago, I actually received sssssomething useful! The Seal of Alaska! Which according to the language of the treaty, means that I, Cobra Commander, am now the rightful owner of ssssaid state!

[And clearly having a gaudy jeweled goblet that signifies ownership of land that isn't even in this world is cause for him to cackle. So he's just going to laugh until the feed ends.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Default)
[So instead of an audio tirade, there’s a short, simple text from Cobra Commander being sent out on the Rocket channel. After checking the PC this morning, he’s definitely not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.]

It seems that a number of Rockets are no longer with us. If any of you have recently received a Pokémon from one of them, please respond stating who it belonged to. I’m aware of at least four departures, and if there are more, it needs to be reported immediately.

[Now to try and not throw the PokéGear at something while he waits. Given that he’s already thrown an office chair, his helmet, and various papers around the room, there’s a good chance that the PokéGear’s next.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T PAY MY LEASE)
After several months of research, I have revised my list of targets. However, before I get into that, I would first like to pose a question to our sssscience team. How long is thissss-

[The Commander lifts up the side of his hood. Anyone expecting to see his face is probably going to be disappointed since all that’s exposed is a small portion of his cheek. This happens to be covered in black and purple splotches. He lets the camera linger on it for a moment before pulling his mask back down.]

Going to last? My powers disappeared a while ago, and these are still here! When are they going to go away? I want an answer! And before I get to thisss list, those of you already handling our various enemies need to report in with your progress! Or I may be forced to consider reassigning your targets to other members! Now then, here is the new list!

[The Pokegear is grabbed and turned towards a piece of paper lying on Cobra’s desk. It reads as follows:
The List ) ]

Study thisss list, gather information, and learn what we’re up against! Remember, knowing is half the battle! And the other half is crushing anyone who dares oppose us!

52 | Audio

Jul. 3rd, 2012 07:50 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!)
[Cobra Commander’s sticking with audio only for the public portion of this broadcast. After all, there are only so many hiding places in Cianwood City. He won’t be here much longer and plans to be on the next ferry to Olivine, but still, one can’t be too careful.]

First! After days of sssearching, I have recovered what was stolen from me! If you thought hiding it here would keep me from finding it, then you were sorely missstaken!

Sssecond! I overheard a very interesting ssstory in one of the Pokémon Centers. It ssssems someone has been spreading lies about me, and I will not tolerate being ssslandered! I want you to know this, whoever you are! Today you have made a powerful enemy and you will regret doing so!

Third! Mr., what was his name?

[There’s the sound of rummaging and papers being moved around as the Commander looks for a certain name.]

Mr. Xehanort, was it? If you’re still here, contact me immediately!

[End of public feed]
Private Audio on the Rocket Channel )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GADGET NEXT TIME)
[The only background noise is the music in Diglett’s Cave. Cobra Commander’s missing out on all the fun looting and pillaging, so at the very least, he feels that it’s his duty to continue antagonizing the good people of Johto.]

Despite your constant refusals, I have finally received the HM for Fly. I know by now you’re all busy with the recent monster attack, but just keep thisss in mind: I can now be anywhere in Johto at any time! Meaning nowhere is safe from attack! Nowhere!

[Those expecting cackling may be disappointed since the feed cuts out right there. It resumes a little while later, but on the Rocket frequency.]

[Private Video for Rockets]
[There isn’t much to see on the video. The signal scrambler’s in the background, so is Trubbish, who much to the Commander’s dismay is goofing off with some Digletts. That’s really about it.]

As you can see, the device is working perfectly on thissss end. No problems yet.

[He’s still grumbling though. The location could be better. Somewhere that didn’t remind him of his first few months as a Grunt would be nice.]

And Gorthan, I really must congratulate you. Bringing the trash to life and having it menace the towns is most impressssive! Though I am curious, I saw sssome Trubbish through the Gear, and they’re coloring is different. Do you know why?

[Yes, he knows the Rockets are busy, but he doesn’t really care.]

Also, Archer, the creatures hatched. I definitely ssssee several uses for them in the future!

And lastly, as I said I received Fly, but apparently another Badge is required to actually use it. Do any of you know which one? I’d ask everyone, but we all know they’d probably lie, and I do not tolerate being lied to!

{OOC: Fly obtained via Saffron Gym. Badge is mod approved.}

41 | Text

Apr. 13th, 2012 01:42 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (TAKES A SSSTRONG STOMACH TO SEE MY FACE)
Private Texts to Kimblee and Kato )

[With that taken care of, the following message is sent out on the public network, in text of course, since Cobra Commander is still of the opinion that no one knows who he is if he sticks to text.]

I have a question for all of Johto. If someone asked you to pick your favorite place in all of Johto, where would it be?

{OOC: Private texts are related to this. Throwing out the link again in case anyone else is interested in participating.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Telling you about my ridiculousss scheme)
Private Text to Gorthan )

{OOC: Just passing along some reports about the Commander's home world to Gorthan. He'll be posting publicly later on this week and probably next week too.}

26 | Video

Jun. 25th, 2011 02:22 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (IDIOTS! I HAVE IDIOTS ON MY PAYROLL)
One question, Johto.

[The scene is very different from the Commander’s last transmission. For starters, he’s inside the Goldenrod Pokémon center this time. More importantly, he isn’t lying in a soulless heap this time around.

He cleared his throat and proceeded to yell as loudly as possible, most likely annoying anyone else in the center around him.]

I know I’m not the only one this happened to. So, did anyone else have horrible dreams about dead things, and giant robots, giant skeleton monsters, and other nonssssense? For a week? What the heck was that all about?

[Actually that was three questions, but the Commander really didn’t care. He was just relieved to be awake and away from all that horrible stuff.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (IDIOTS! I HAVE IDIOTS ON MY PAYROLL)
There are so many products at the Department Store for Pokémon. Which ones do you use? And why? Which ones improve the ability to battle? Which Technical Machines would allow a Machop to strike a ghost Pokémon? If you can answer any of these, your help would be greatly appreciated.

Action for Department Store )

19 | Video

Jan. 16th, 2011 03:05 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Addresssssssing the minionsssssssss)
[The video displays Cobra Commander standing in front of a blank wall, facing the camera.]

Attention citizens of the world! I have tried to remain patient and consolidate my power, but even my patience has limits! The more I see your broadcasts, the more it convinces me that some sort of greater authority is needed! And from what I can see, there’s nothing to stop me from proclaiming myself absolute ruler of Johto! So, I would like to formally announce that by the power vested in me by myself, I declare myself Emperor of Johto and all of you my subjects!

As your new emperor, I would like to ease any concerns you may have. I am a fair and benevolent ruler as long as you do exactly what I say without question! Disobedience will not be tolerated! I have a loyal team of Cobra operatives ready to deal with anyone who tries to usurp my authority!

[The camera turns to show off his completed Pokémon team. Pancake the Ditto, Arbok, Seviper, Machop, Zubat, and Snover. All look completely confused by their trainer’s ranting.]

Zartan, Coils, Hiss, Skull Buster, Aero-Viper, and Ice-Viper are more than capable of dealing with any of you! Especially without the existence of G.I. Joe! So swear your allegiance now! Swear it to Cobra! Cobraaaaaaaaaaaa!

[After the battle cry, he reaches over and turns the Gear off, ending the broadcast.]

{OOC: Obviously he has no real authority or anything like that.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I ORDER YOU TO DO SSSSSSSSTUFF)
Unless I get what I want for Christmas, I don't care about this nonsense. At all! And neither should any of you!

Private to Team Rocket )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (RETREAT RETREAAAAAAAAAAAT)
[He sounds more nervous than angry.]

Would someone pleas explain what is going on? One minute I'm minding my own business and then I'm in Goldenrod! Furthermore-

[Multiple cries of Ditto can be heard.]

What is this? Go away you horrible things! Go Zubat! Take care of them!

[Instead of a Zubat, there's another Ditto cry.]

My Pokemon! What happened to my Pokemon? No get away from me!

[The audio cuts out as Cobra Commander is swarmed by Dittos.]

{OOC: Went ahead and got this posted tonight because I'll probably be swamped tomorrow. Responses will probably be slow tomorrow, but I'll do my best to try and keep up.}

12 | Audio

Nov. 16th, 2010 03:14 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Telling you about my ridiculous scheme)
I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for my outburst the other day. Attempts to contact several of my...comrades have failed, so I've concluded that something else must have happened. Therefore, I would like to request that you provide any and all information about any other similar disappearances and reappearances. For research purposes, of course. Or else!

Furthermore, this setback has not deterred me from training my Ekans. I will have my cobra! And in case any of you have forgotten, nothing will stop me from getting it! So don't even try!

[There is a brief burst of his laughter at the end of the transmission.]

09 | Text

Jul. 29th, 2010 05:53 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Ssssssstanding there)
Does anyone know how to make an Ekans evolve? Or a Zubat? It seems like I'm the only one with unevolved Pokemon still.

Locked to members of Team Rocket )

05 | Audio

Jun. 14th, 2010 01:32 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (RETREAT RETREAAAAAAAAAAAT)
[The sounds of the storm can be heard, but they're somewhat muffled by the rock walls of the Slowpoke Well.]

I'm sure this storm is nothing compared to what the Weather Dominator could cook up.

[The sounds get louder, indicating the speaker is closer to the Well's entrance.]

You see? It's just rain and-

[Several loud thuds, followed by the sound of running.]

Full retreat! Back into the Well!

01 | Audio

May. 29th, 2010 09:52 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (Telling you about my ridiculous scheme)
To any members of Cobra in this miserable place, this is your commander speaking. Report in. Where are you? What kind of creature have you been given?

[Pause]

And to the rest of you on this network, any information you possess on the creatures that inhabit this place is of great interest to me. Feel free to share anything useful you've learned.

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Cobra Commander

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