cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (WHO LEFT THE DOOR OPEN AGAIN?)
[Well, it's that time of year again, the time where anything and everything goes absolutely crazy and nothing makes sense.

So Cobra's got his island on full alert because this is probably the most likely time for something chaotic and ridiculous to happen. He's already told his NPC goons to be on their guard and to get ready to repel any invaders, but who knows how well that'll work since it's fourth wall and they'll get warped in and out or their Pokemon will suddenly be Magikarps with only Splash or something else will happen.

Cobra himself is going to barricade himself inside the house he uses as a command center which is a terrible idea because once again this is fourth wall and someone could just warp or glitch in there or Godzilla could show up and step on it, and...

And basically, there's no way this isn't a ridiculous disaster in the making, and it's probably for the best that fourth wall damage doesn't stick around long term.

Because odds are, there's going to be a lot of that.]

{OOC: Please feel free to attack and make a mess of his island. I'll be more than happy to throw Cobra and other things your way in return.}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
[Today's going to be one of those rare days where Cobra Commander makes a video broadcast and isn't complaining about anything or threatening to blow up something or any of that. Because none of that is important right now. What is important though is the subject of today's address, which he'll get to soon enough.]

Five years. In a few days it will be five years ssssince I've arrived in this world. I'm ssssure some of you can't even begin to imagine being here for that long. And yesss, I know, some idiot just went on about this subject a while ago, but what I have to sssay is far more important.

[Because he apparently can't be nice about anything even if he's not threatening you all.]

Anyway, five years ago, I would have assumed that by now, thisss world would have fallen under my control. Within a year, two maybe. I certainly couldn't have envissioned that almost five years would pass before I'd conquered sssso much as a mere island. Which isn't to ssssay that I'd be disappointed with myssself, merely that five years ago I couldn't have even begun to anticipate the ridiculoussss going ons that have occurred over the last five years.

[Legendaries, Team Rocket stuff, Kanto just sort of...appearing, fourth walls, and all sorts of other crazy things.]

And I can only assume that the next five years will be full of ssssome sssort of equally unimaginable chaos.

[Like...he doesn't know. Maybe it'll rain Magikarps for a month or something. Or everyone will get warped into the Ice Path. ...or maybe there'll be a gun Pokemon since there's sword Pokemon now. Who knows? The point is that he can't even begin to guess what sort of crazy Pokemon shenanigans could happen.]

However, I can guarantee one thing. Yessss, one thing is absolutely certain! And that is that it will not take me another five years to finish conquering the globe! I guarantee that within the next five years, the entire Pokemon world will belong to me! To Cobra Commander!

[...and that's apparently how he commemorates being here that long. By reaffirming his intent to rule the world and by cackling like a lunatic until he ends the transmission.]

101 | Video

Mar. 1st, 2015 07:50 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (BEING SSSSSNEAKY)
[Today we have Cobra Commander on the Gear, looking well, about the same as always. It's hard to figure out where he is, but judging from the bgm and the metal walls, a ship is probably a good guess? But which ferry? Or cruiseliner? That's the question.]

I've decided that after my unfortunate...outburssst last month, that a change of sssscenery was overdue.

[That's not really an apology for screaming at everyone in private and public, but it's certainly something at least?]

And it has done wonders for providing me with a new outlook on life.

[Though...what that means isn't exactly a conversation for today.]

However, everything I sssssaid last time still applies. Everything.

[In other words, he's still furious.]

And ssssome of it will apply ssssooner than you think.

[Having been as cryptic as possible, he kills the feed there. He'll answer any responses of course, but as to what he's talking about, he'll keep that under his hood for now.]

{OOC: Curious as to what this is about? Head over here for more info!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SHOULD BE BEHEADED FOR SSSSTUPIDITY)
[After an incredibly long absence, for Cobra anyway, Cobra Commander's made his return to the Pokegear. And he's in one of those weird nondescript rooms the Goldenrod Rocket base is apparently full of.

And there'd be some nostalgia over the fact that he hasn't broadcasted from here in quite some time, but he's too busy being mad.]


I sssspent months of planning, months of making sure everything was perfect! Only to fall victim to not just the handiwork of a couple of do-gooders, but of a ssssaboteur! But make no misstake, I am in no means deterred from continuing to do whatever I can to try and make thissss world mine! No prison, no act of ssssabotage, no ssself appointed heroes, nothing will ssstop me! Nothing!

[He's basically angrily shaking his fists at the camera. Wow.]

In fact, I will not ssstop until the world is mine, or the day I depart from thissss world! So if I were all of you, I would hope the latter happens sssssoon enough!

[And that's the end of his public tirade. Now if you're a Rocket, there'll be a message for you guys as well.]
Private Rocket Video )
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT AGAIN WHY DOES THISSS KEEP HAPPENING)
[Yep, it's Cobra again. But wait, don't touch that dial because today is actually the day he does stuff! Which might become obvious because when the video starts he seems to be...in the air, standing on some sort of metal thing. So yep, stuff's happening today.

Now, in theory, he should probably be preoccupied with the Rocket text that went out a couple days ago, but he's not postponing his plans just because the admins decided they want them all to do things. He's Cobra Commander, and he does things on his schedule, not anyone else's.

Unless of course they force him to stick to their schedule, but that's not the point today!]


I thought that this time...thissss time, you all might have actually understood what I was up to and had the ssssense to meet my demands. Obvioussssly, I was wrong.

[Wow, Cobra actually admitted he was wrong.]

So sssince no one seems to understand what a game changer my device is, allow me to provide the final demonstration of Project M.E.T.A.L.'s power!

[Cobra steps towards the edge of the platform and...that sure is the Cherrygrove Spa down there. Yup.]

Lock On!

[There's no visible effect or anything, but the Magnezones under the platform have locked on to their target.]

Fire!

[And suddenly six Zap Cannons rain down, all hitting the target and pretty much wrecking that poor spa. Nobody's getting any treatments there any time soon, that's for sure.]

I trust that you now underssstand the power I possess!

[He'll just back away from the edge now.]

But it's an underssstanding that has come far too late! Because you've failed to meet my demands, the ressst of Cherrygrove City can expect the sssame fate!

[From somewhere behind Cobra, there's a weird detaching noise followed by the sound of something falling and then um...impacting the ruins of the spa.]

What?!

[He'll just disconnect the feed there. No sense in showing the whole world what went wrong and ruining any villain cred he's just gained.]

{OOC: The log for the people wrecking the machine is here! Have fun guys!

And responses to this might be slow over the next couple of days due to my laptop needing repairs, but I'll try be around as much as I can!

And yes, the damage to the spa was approved by Alex and Sunny!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (AND NOW FOR A LISSSST OF DEMANDS)
[Not much to see here. It's Cobra Commander again, but this time via text]

You have one week to meet the following demands:

At least P1,000,000 delivered to the following address:


[And an address follows. It's a P.O. Box in Blackthorn City, so there's nothing really exciting there if anyone goes to look.]

Ownership of any one city in either region.

100 Shiny Pokemon.


[He doesn't even want the Pokemon, but he knows that in a Pokemon centric world, that's a pretty huge demand to make.]

You have one week or Cherrygrove City will experience destruction on a level not yet seen in this world. Ignore this at your own peril.

{OOC: Still taking signups to shoot Cobra down for the next 24 hours or so!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (HAHAHAHAHA)
[There's a bit of a change from his last few broadcasts since Cobra Commander's not out blowing stuff up again today. No, he's just sitting in one of those miscellaneous office rooms he tends to broadcast from when he's not out causing problems for everyone.

Of course that doesn't mean he's can't cause problems from here because well, that's his intention for today.]


For the past few months, I have been tesssting a project that I have sworn is unlike anything else that has been developed in thissss world before! And some of you have chosen to make a mockery of my geniusssss. Those of you who have done ssso have chosen poorly.

[Because today's finally the day he's going to attack right?]

Because two weeks from today, there will be no more demonstrations. Two weeks from today, I will use my invention to attack a target of my choosing! And you will all be completely incapable of doing anything about it!

[...oh, apparently he's going to drag this out a bit longer.]

In one week's time I will announce my demands and the target I have ssselected. Feel free to sssspend the next week or so dwelling on what they could be or the missssguided notion that you can sssstop me!

[And the feed ends after way too much evil laughter from Cobra.]

{OOC: Still taking signups for people to shoot him down if anyone's interested!}

95 | Video

Dec. 1st, 2014 02:21 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
No! No! No! No! No!

[...that sure is Cobra Commander throwing a fit in what appears to be Azalea Town. Apparently he's not happy everything's back to normal now.]

I don't care if thissss happens all the time, this is unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! I want my command center back and I want it back now! I dissstinctly remember having one!

[ He remembers a building and pushing buttons. Something may have been launched. That's about it. He doesn't even remember where it was, which leads to his next demand.]

And directions to where it is! Because it certainly wasn't in thissss miserable place!

[Yup, for the record, he still hates Azalea Town. In fact...]

If anything, ssssomeone should raze thisss stupid town to the ground and replace it with something useful!

[He's not going to do that today though. No, instead he's probably going to fly out of here right away and go somewhere that doesn't inspire him to cause new acts of stupidity.]

94 | Video

Nov. 17th, 2014 01:27 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSEATBELTS ARE FOR LOSERS)
[Cobra's off in what appears to be a wooded area today. There's a house off to the side which...doesn't really do much to identify where he is, but still, a house!]

Greetings citizens of Johto, Kanto. It's been ssssome time since I've had reason to addresssss you all like this.

[Technically, he just made a broadcast last month, but that's not really what he's talking about. ...but on a possibly related note, it has been a few months since he attacked that news station.

And he's still showing off that house in the background. Look, he rented it. He wants you all to see what he does with his money.]


Over the years certain individuals, myssself among them, have perpetrated various acts of violence and terrorism on thissss world, usually utilizing either Pokemon...or more conventional methods, ssssuch as that little war waged in Ecruteak the other day.

[Or maybe it wasn't so little, doesn't really matter. Cobra wants to talk about Cobra and his accomplishments today, not what that “Seth” guy is doing over in Ecruteak.]

Sssso I've decided that it's time to try something new. A blending of conventional weaponry and Pokemon as it were. A project I've dubbed Project M.E.T.A.L.!

[Magnetic Emission Tactical Assault Laser, if anyone's curious and doesn't feel like asking. A fancy name for...shooting things with Magnezones. Or what are going to one day be Magnezones.]

Of course, at this point, we all know that actions ssssspeak far louder than words, sssso I've arranged for a little demonstration.

[Okay, so now the house is going to come into play, since Cobra's focusing on it with the camera.]

Ready...aim...fire!

[And from off camera comes a beam of some sort that's uh...well, if anyone's seen Flash Cannon, sort of like that. Except it's a bit larger since it's about six of them aligned to fire together and impact the wall of that house.

...the house that he rented just to do this. Yup. This is what Cobra Commander does with his money.

With that demonstration done, he'll switch to audio until he gets over there, so enjoy the background music for the Mahogany area and the sound of Cobra walking for a moment.

Okay, it's live again and there's a lovely view of the wrecked wall as well as the interior of the room behind the wall which looks blasted all to hell. It could be worse, but suffice to say, he is not getting his deposit back. But enough about that, he's going to turn the camera to himself so he can address everyone personally.]


No doubt ssssome of you are unimpressed. But consider thisss a taste of things to come. The finished product will be much more devastating, and I guarantee it will be unlike anything this world has ever ssssseen!

[And he'll just cackle into the camera before ending the feed because that's his usual way of ending these things.]

{OOC: So, as you some of you might have noticed, Cobra's been mentioning that he's been working on something for the last few months. This is part of it! When it's all finished in a couple of months or so, there'll definitely be more information on it and the chance to foil his stupid evil, okay mostly stupid, plan. So this is basically phase one of a much larger stupid thing.

And this was mod approved by Sunny and Alex!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
[Remember last time when Cobra was too busy to rant about the earthquakes? Well, things have changed now.]

Enough! Enough with these sssstupid earthquakes already! Thissss is what? The fifth one? How is anyone supposed to get anything important done with thissss nonsense constantly going on?

[He's exaggerating, but hey, some people were in the middle of sketching blueprints for future plans when the constant shaking messed that whole thing up. Now he's got some torn paper, and lines gouged into his desk. It's a minor problem, but this is not something that should happen to the future ruler of the world, okay?]

Is thisss entire world on a fault line?

[Admittedly, that doesn't make any sense, but does anything here ever make sense?.]

Even when I managed to weaponize earthquakes in my world, they were hardly the nuisssance this is! Thisss is completely insufferable! Inssssssufferable!

[And that concludes today's tantrum.]

91 | Video

Sep. 1st, 2014 11:47 am
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSTOP LAUGHING AT ME)
[When the feed starts Cobra's...laughing. It probably has something to do with the fact that he's inside and not caught outside in the torrential downpour of Espurrs. And he's not planning on heading outside until this is all over whenever that may be.]

Brilliant! This is brilliant! I was wondering if anyone would ever try ssssomething like this again!

[He goes on laughing on camera for quite a while before realizing that he should probably explain.]

Oh, that's right. I suppose most of you have absolutely no idea what I'm going on about. And thissss time I'll chalk it up to ignorance and not your overwhelming ssstupidity.

[Okay, now that he's insulted everyone watching, he'll explain.]

Ssssome time ago, a rather...unbalanced individual who used to be here, unleashed a rain of exploding Pineco on Goldenrod City causing untold amounts of dessstruction and devessstation! And as far as I know, he was never caught, ssso I've wondered for some time why no one's tried it again!

[Of course he's leaving out the parts where he didn't like said attack stealing his thunder and had a pinecone explode in his face...but Cobra feels things like that are better off being removed from this Johto history lesson.]

Though it is sssslightly disappointing that the persons responsible didn't bother to teach them Explosion before launching them.

89 | Video

Jun. 27th, 2014 01:55 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!)
[Hey everybody, it's Cobra Commander on the feed again. Probably about to start rambling about that news broadcast again. Or not, since the subject of his broadcast today is something else entirely.]

I would just like to ssssay before I am falsely accused of anything else, that I have absolutely nothing to do with the bizarre weather today!

[Because seriously, why is there a snowstorm in June? What on earth is going on here?][Which should be pretty obvious to anyone who was around for the day Cobra Commander rampaged in Pallet Town with Pokemon using weather attacks...and got arrested for.]

Ssssso any attempts to pin thissss on me will be met with ssswift and effective retaliation! So don't even think about it!

[And with that done, he's going to go back to figuring out what to do about that news broadcast a few weeks ago.]

88 | Video

Jun. 11th, 2014 06:59 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE)
I would like to issssue a formal complaint about that sssso called news report that I'm sure all of you have seen by now. I have absolutely no idea why they would issue such a missssleading report, but despite that description, that was not me! I had nothing to do with any of that!

[As far as he knows anyway.]

I wasn't even in Goldenrod City at the time of the attack!

[That part's true.]

Sssso it is beyond me why these reporters would take it upon themsssselves to report ssssomething so obviously false! And I don't care where that description came from! I'm not going to allow my name to be sssslandered by them, the police, or anyone else! Essspecially for crimes I didn't commit!

[If he had his army of evil lawyers here, he would've already filed a ridiclous amount of lawsuits over this, but all he can do for now is yell at things.]

And if it's not sssslander, and there's some idiot out there trying to impersssonate me again, then whoever you are, you have made a very grave missstake. A mistake that I promise you will regret for the resssst of your soon to be completely miserable life!

[The feed ends there since Cobra's done screaming at the camera for now.]

86 | Video

May. 21st, 2014 08:29 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
Earlier today while making a new list of targets, something I'm sssure that many of you are already aware that I do, I realized ssssomething.

[Cobra pauses here. It's not every day that he realizes something.]

Most of my enemies are no longer here. What once took up more than a page could now easily fit on a post it note. And if I am lacking in enemies, then that obviously means that I am ssucceeding in removing any obstacles to my eventual conquest of Johto. Even if I'm not actually doing anything about it!

[Victory by default is still victory...right? To Cobra, it is, so he's laughing about it.He'll stop eventually though.]

Of course, just because I don't have to do anything doesn't mean that I'm going to refrain from taking action against thossse who annoy me. There are, after all, ssstill a few nuisances running around here I'd like dealt with. And sssince I'm no longer in Team Rocket, I can hardly ask them to do it, right?

[Yup. He's still sticking to the not in Team Rocket thing.]

Therefore, if anyone is interested in being handsomely rewarded for bringing misfortune to these people, please let me know, and I'll be more than happy to provide you with their names.

[And that's where the video ends.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT MY FACE MY BEAUTIFUL FASSSE)
[Today's video is Cobra Commander, who appears to be back in his usual blue outfit. With another prom over and done with, his one decent set of clothes has disappeared into whatever closet it lives in for most of the year.]

I would like to set the record straight about a few things that happened over the weekend. First, ssssome of you may have seen me doing the unthinkable at that ridiculoussss gathering. Yes, I was in fact...

[Hang on. He's having trouble actually putting this into words. The indignity of it all.]

Fine! I'll come out and sssay it. I was washing dishes!

[There. He said it.]

But what I would like to make completely clear is that I was not forced to! Yessss, I was told to, but if I had decided not to go along with it, I could have easily refused! In fact, I could have made sure that no one ever asked me to do ssssuch a menial chore again!

[Overreacting? Nope, not him.]

Which brings me to the second thing I would like to point out. If anyone, anyone at all thinks they can force me to some ridiculousssss chore again, I don't care who they are, I will make sure that they regret ever attempting to do so!

[The feed ends there, so apparently that's it.]

84 | Video

Feb. 25th, 2014 06:37 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSSTEP RIGHT UP)
[Today we have some lovely footage of a Bloober moving around on Cobra's desk. Luckily, he had the sense to put down some plastic sheeting before letting the Bloober move (bloob?) around on it. Otherwise, he'd be throwing a tantrum about his desk being ruined by slime.]

I am going to assume most you know what these things are, and as you may have noticed none have been spotted in the wild for a few days now.Either they are extremely rare, or there are simply none left in either region. Sssso if you were planning to catch one, finding one could prove to be an extremely difficult, if not imposssible task.

But you aren't entirely out of luck! I happen to have obtained a number of these creatures and would be more than happy to ssssell them to anyone wanting to own one.

[He caught ten of them thinking he could something with them, and so far, they don't seem to do anything he finds useful like explode or shoot lasers, so he's done with this little experiment.]

Now given that the creatures are as rare as they are, and with seemingly no eggs on the market, I think it's only fair to ssssell them for a high price. Therefore, I will accept nothing lower than P100,000 per creature.

[He pulled that number out of thin air, but hey nine or ten of them at P100,000? That's a lot of money he can waste on stupid Cobra things.]

And before any of you complain or attempt to haggle, need I remind you that if they remain unsold, I will find another use for them. Target practice, perhaps.

[And that's where the feed ends.]

76 | Video

Sep. 17th, 2013 04:57 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT MY FACE MY BEAUTIFUL FASSSE)
[Cobra's not in that weird office room he tends to use for broadcasts today. No, today he seems to be recording from what looks like a house. And the focus isn't on himself, but instead what appears to be an assorted pile of junk. There's a backpack that has definitely seen better days, a sleeping bag, and oddly enough, six jars of Combee honey.]

If this was meant to be a gift or sssssome sort of appeasement, then I suggest that next time you try offering ssssomething I would actually want! Not thisss...thisss garbage!

But this is hardly the reason for me addressing you today, no, I have ssssomething far more important to discuss!

[And now the camera's back to him.]

No, I would like to discuss....Pokemon eggs! Or more sssspecifically the sale of them! Do you people ever think about who you're selling them to? Or what they're going to be used for? After all, these things are basically weapons, and you have no restrictions on them, no checks to ensue that the buyer is ssssomeone who can be trusted with such a thing, or even that they are who they ssssay they are!

Case in point, I've purchased a number of eggs from the lot of you, ssssome under fake identities, and some without any ssssort of false pretense whatsoever, and allow me to show you what your oh ssso generous unregulated Pokemon egg industry has given me!

[There's a Pokeball being held up to the camera now.]

Inside this ball is ssssomething that would be very difficult to obtain on my own. A rather destructive Pokemon, with a moveset the likes of which would take ages to acquire through regular channels! And while I was tempted to show it off at the time of purchase, I chose instead to wait, and reveal it in all of its fully evolved destructive glory!

[There's some fumbling with the camera as Cobra brings the Pokemon out and once the camera focuses, that's definitely a Tyranitar in Cobra's house. A Tyranitar that's roaring. And throwing his arms around. And those arms just took out part of Cobra's wall.]

No you idiot! Ssssstop doing that! Sssstop it! You'll bring the whole place down!

[And the feed cuts there while Cobra tries to keep Tyranitar from wrecking what's left of his house.]

75 | Video

Aug. 29th, 2013 02:51 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
[There's a face or lack thereof on the Gear today that hasn't been around in a while. Cobra Commander's making his first broadcast since June, and for that matter, seems to have missed the memo that it's currently August.]

Thisss month is almost over. And next month brings a very important day, one that any Americans here would be extremely familiar with: the Fourth of July! Independence Day!

[Yeah, he still hasn't checked the date on this thing.]

And even though Johto and Kanto don't celebrate thisss holiday, I sssee no reason to let thisss occasion pass without some sort of celebration! Therefore, to mark that day, I've decided to sssstage a fireworks demonstration! Yessss, a Cobra sponsored fireworks demonstration sssset in a major city! And there's nothing anyone can do to ssssstop it!

[And Cobra's broadcast concludes with some evil laughter before the screen goes black.]

{OOC: Had to take a hiatus for the past two months due to some family stuff, but I'm back now. Cobra's been glitched to explain where he was, which is why he thinks it's still late June.}

74 | Video

Jun. 21st, 2013 03:58 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (A REAL AMERICAN HERO)
[When the feed starts, there's a clear view of a strange cup of some sort on Cobra's desk. He wanted to show it off sooner, but with the glitches and everything from a couple weeks ago, he figured it best to wait until things calmed down.]

No doubt many of you are wondering what thisssss is, and why I am bringing it your attention. Allow me to explain. As some of you may know, in 1867 the United Sssstates of America purchased Alaska from Russia. What you may not know is that a provision in the treaty involved the transfer of this item, the Seal of Alaska, from the Russian government to the American one. Unfortunately the ship carrying the seal sank, and it was thought lost forever.

However, my operatives were able to recover the seal, thus taking possession of Alaska...for a time. Unfortunately due to their incompetence and interference by varioussss government agencies, the seal ended up in the hands of the United Sssstates government. Until now.

You ssssee, while all of you received whatever ridiculous, useless knicknack from your homes a few weeks ago, I actually received sssssomething useful! The Seal of Alaska! Which according to the language of the treaty, means that I, Cobra Commander, am now the rightful owner of ssssaid state!

[And clearly having a gaudy jeweled goblet that signifies ownership of land that isn't even in this world is cause for him to cackle. So he's just going to laugh until the feed ends.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NO ONE ARRESTS COBRA COMMANDER)
Thissss is impossible!

[What the video shows might be confusing to some since Cobra is somehow back in jail. And in complete disbelief over it. ]

Imposssssible! How? I demand an explanation for thisss!

[Not an explanation for how he got here so much as one that explains why he can’t get out. Not with his Pokémon, and not with the weird hairdryer thing laser pistol he’s waving in front of the camera. And last time he checked, the buildings here shouldn’t be blastproof.]

I demand to know who is responsible for thisss…thisss…thissss impossible reincarceration! Once I find you, I’ll have you shot for thisssss! Do you hear me? Shot!

[He hasn’t exactly figured out how he’s going to shoot someone through this glitched cell though.]

And ssssomeone get me out of here! Now! I don't care what else is going on! This should be your number one priority!

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