cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!)
[Remember last time when Cobra was too busy to rant about the earthquakes? Well, things have changed now.]

Enough! Enough with these sssstupid earthquakes already! Thissss is what? The fifth one? How is anyone supposed to get anything important done with thissss nonsense constantly going on?

[He's exaggerating, but hey, some people were in the middle of sketching blueprints for future plans when the constant shaking messed that whole thing up. Now he's got some torn paper, and lines gouged into his desk. It's a minor problem, but this is not something that should happen to the future ruler of the world, okay?]

Is thisss entire world on a fault line?

[Admittedly, that doesn't make any sense, but does anything here ever make sense?.]

Even when I managed to weaponize earthquakes in my world, they were hardly the nuisssance this is! Thisss is completely insufferable! Inssssssufferable!

[And that concludes today's tantrum.]

89 | Video

Jun. 27th, 2014 01:55 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!)
[Hey everybody, it's Cobra Commander on the feed again. Probably about to start rambling about that news broadcast again. Or not, since the subject of his broadcast today is something else entirely.]

I would just like to ssssay before I am falsely accused of anything else, that I have absolutely nothing to do with the bizarre weather today!

[Because seriously, why is there a snowstorm in June? What on earth is going on here?][Which should be pretty obvious to anyone who was around for the day Cobra Commander rampaged in Pallet Town with Pokemon using weather attacks...and got arrested for.]

Ssssso any attempts to pin thissss on me will be met with ssswift and effective retaliation! So don't even think about it!

[And with that done, he's going to go back to figuring out what to do about that news broadcast a few weeks ago.]
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (NOT AGAIN WHY DOES THISSS KEEP HAPPENING)
[Today was supposed to be the big day for Cobra. The day when everything went right. Certainly not the day where it rained on the morning on his attack, making it a pain to record video or take photos. And certainly not the day where his metal bird got shot out of the sky by Raichu. He was actually glad there wasn't any footage of that.

Really, it'd been a mixed bag at best. He'd done some damage, but retreat and recovery had been a complete disaster. Hopefully, the others did better.]


This morning the Vermilion City Gym was the target of a carefully planned aerial attack by Cobra forces. Let this be a reminder to you all that I can sssstrike anywhere at anytime. Anywhere! Without warning if I sssso choose!

[And not that he really feels like it, but there's some villainous laughter at the end of the public feed. Now to check in with the others.]

[Private Audio to Attack Volunteers]

By now your attacks should be underway, if not already finished. So I demand to know the results of them. Report in as ssssoon as you hear thissss message! And you better have succeeded!
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (SSSSEATBELTS ARE FOR LOSERS)
[Video A]
[Today’s the 8th. That means another video (or three) from Cobra. He’s standing next to a building in Pallet Town wearing what appears to be a winter coat despite the fact that it’s May. And he doesn’t seem to be very happy about his demands being met.]

I had thought that the threat of complete annihilation would be enough to get what I want. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently mere words are not enough to convince you all to make the right decisions even when those words come from someone such as myself. Sssso since I failed to convince you with words, you now leave me no choice but to offer a demonstration of what I’m capable of.

[And with that, Cobra produces a small remote from his pocket and pushes a button.]

Keep an eye on your PokéGears. Ssssoon you shall have proof that my threats were far from empty!

[Video B]
[About fifteen minutes after the first broadcast ends, there’s a second video from Cobra. Same location as before, but there appears to be some sort of freak storm going on. Hail, lightning, high winds, and even some snow. Cobra’s keeping his Pokémon off screen and separated in order to make it look as natural as possible. Or well as natural as a freak ice storm in early May can be.

And the whole time this is going on, Cobra’s cackling like an idiot again. Unfortunately, this goes on for quite a while before he cuts the feed.]


[Video C]
[Tired of Cobra yet? Yes? Too bad. There’s a third video sometime later, showing the aftermath of the storm. Nothing’s leveled or anything like that, but the Pokémon equivalent of Home Depot is probably going to be pretty busy over the next couple weeks or so.]

Take a good look at thisss! Take a good look and remember that next time, it will be wor-

[Okay, hang on, there’s something off screen taking up most of Cobra’s attention.]

Under arrest? Is thissss some sort of joke? You dare arrest me?

[After several minutes of arguing and trying to threaten his way out of this, Cobra’s finally handcuffed.]

You can’t do thissss to me! You’ll pay for thissss! I have rights! I want a lawyer! You’ll pay for thisss!

[And with that, Cobra’s final video for the day comes to a close.]

{OOC: Okay, here’s the attack/arrest that goes with this. Just let me know which video(s) are being responded to. If anyone’s actually in Pallet Town, feel free to encounter Cobra or one of his Pokemon. He has Castform, Vanilluxe, Electrode, Drifblim, Gyarados, and Abomasnow with him.

Additionally, responses to Video C will be coming from Cobra's jail cell!}
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DESTRO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW)
[Hey Johto, Kanto! Guess who finally got out of that Well, hopped on his Skarmory, and plans on never returning to Azalea Town again?

Cobra Commander has video on, and is using one of those nondescript Rocket base rooms again. Also, he’s still in a noticeably bad mood after the past few days.]


First of all, while I was …detained over the past few days, I received at least three messages full of ssssome garbage about Beedrills and crushes and I don’t even remember what else! But it was ssstupid and reading them was a waste of my time! Those of you who decided to ssspend your time sending me this ridiculous nonsense should consider yourselves lucky that I have no way of finding out who you are! Otherwise, you would regret the decision to send those messages for the rest of your natural lives!

[His life was already sucking by being trapped in the well. Hearing about his true crush and Skuntanks didn’t exactly make things better.]

Now then, as you all should remember, I promised to attack the place I hate the most in Johto! And I did! No doubt you were all out sssearching, probably even in that horrible weather, trying to ssstop me! And you failed! So without any further delay, allow me to reveal my plan!

[Despite what he said, he’s going to delay the announcement for dramatic effect.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Okay, now!]


I poisoned the Slowpoke Well! And there’s nothing any of you can do about it now!

[There’s the usual villainous laughter from Cobra as the feed ends.]

Private Text to Kato )

58 | Audio

Sep. 11th, 2012 03:20 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (DON'T YOU DARE!)
When are these sssstorms going to end?

[For those listening in, there’s the typical cave music and…splashing? Also some sounds that could be the noise from Grimers moving around.]

This is ridiculoussss! I’ve devoted countless hours to planning my attack, and now I can’t do anything! Not a sssingle thing!

[Cobra’s way too mad to bother with lying or trying to not look completely harmless here.]

How could thisss happen a second time? I haven’t been here in years, and yet the ssssame thing happens that happened last time! This is no mere coincidence! No, it can’t be! It had better not be! So help me if I find out that any of you or your Pokémon are responsssible for this, there will be consequences! Dire consequences!

[What follows next is a rather odd noise. The sound of a combat boot connecting with and sinking into muck. It seems that at that the end of his fit, Cobra Commander decided to kick his Grimer, and now his foot is stuck.]

What is thissss? Unhand me at once! Right now! I’m your trainer, and you will do as I ssssay!

[There’s a thud as the Grimer lets go and Cobra hits the ground. Unfortunately, the Gear also hits the ground, ending the audio broadcast there.]

46 | Audio

May. 10th, 2012 03:44 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (COBRAAAAAAAA RETREAAAAAAAAT)
[Surprisingly enough, Cobra Commander isn’t broadcasting to mock anyone today. He’s still stuck in Diglett’s Cave, but at this point he’d much rather be inside than out there. Maybe Team Rocket was on to something by hiding the transmitter in this godforsaken place after all.

In addition to his voice, the sounds of the storm can be heard outside. He moved further into the cave once things got bad, but it's sill pretty loud.]

This is ridiculousss! Absolutely ridiculous! What is with this weather? We’ve had bad weather in Johto before, but this is truly ssssomething else! It almost reminds of the Weather Dominator back home...or that Egyptian debacle.

[Say didn’t this all start after Team Rocket captured that thing? Nah, must be a coincidence.]

Also, I’ve heard there were ssseveral power outages? Does anyone know which areas are affected? And no, I’m not up to anything! There’s no way I’d go out during a ssstorm like this! No way at all!

05 | Audio

Jun. 14th, 2010 01:32 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: (RETREAT RETREAAAAAAAAAAAT)
[The sounds of the storm can be heard, but they're somewhat muffled by the rock walls of the Slowpoke Well.]

I'm sure this storm is nothing compared to what the Weather Dominator could cook up.

[The sounds get louder, indicating the speaker is closer to the Well's entrance.]

You see? It's just rain and-

[Several loud thuds, followed by the sound of running.]

Full retreat! Back into the Well!

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