51 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[The feed displays one Cobra Commander. One Cobra Commander who apparently doesn’t care about hiding his location today. He’s in an office, and it’s the same one the Rockets have seen on his last video, but it may be a somewhat hard to figure out since the camera’s shaking back and forth. Also, he’s yelling. Really loudly. If this office wasn’t part of Team Rocket, there’d probably be an officer en route to issue citations for disturbing the peace.]

Look at thissss! Look at it!

[The camera swings around to show an open crate. It’s rather large, but doesn’t seem to have much in it. There are some scraps of colored paper on the bottom of it, and that’s about it.]

Thisss crate was carrying very important cargo and one of you had the audacity to sssteal it! And not just ssteal it, but leave me thisss…this garbage in its place!

[Yet another camera turn to a desk, clearly Cobra Commander does not care if anyone gets motion sickness from his rage fueled camerawork. On top of the desk are several items, and he takes the time to focus on each one of them. The first is an overturned sack and an assortment of play money, some of it shredded into confetti. The second is a plastic disc, similar to HM02. The third is an obviously fake deed for Cianwood City. Now that everyone’s gotten a good look at this stuff, the Commander finally turns the camera to his face, and he's definitely not done yelling yet.]

One of you decided to steal my property and replace it with thisss junk! And I have a very good idea of who it was sssince they were stupid enough to leave a note! And you will pay! You will pay dearly! I will recover my property and make sure you ssssuffer for your little joke! On earth I’ve held the world hostage and brought nations to their knees! I’ve committed numerous criminal acts here in Johto, and all of that will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do when I find you! All of them! I’ll use every connection I have in Johto and Kanto to have you found and destroyed! And if anyone tries to help you or get in my way, then they’ll suffer the sssame fate! Or worse!

And to that brat who thought he could assault me and get away with it, I haven’t forgotten about that! I’ll get you too! Remember that! No one attacks Cobra Commander and gets away with it! Especially not you!

[He could go on and on, but he'll cut the feed there. Being attacked and robbed in the same week has done wonders for his temper.]

Comments

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Fair enough. Not everyone is ssssuited for being on the front lines. I already have a number of agreements with various people in Team Rocket who provide work for me so long as they remain anonymous, sssso an offer like that is quite easily accepted.

[licentious]

It's not that I'm not very suited for the front lines, it's just that I have priorities that involve stealth and promoting your objectives through more subtle means, so you have a larger and more resourceful foundation. [ Kanyeshrugs. ] It wouldn't be a good look for me if I was seen causing mass chaos in person so, I'll just set up the things so you can take the credit. [ is she winning cobra points yet? ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That's fine with me. I have no problem taking credit for the actions of others!

[No problem whatsoever]

LMAO OH LORDIE THAT IMAGE

[licentious]

I knew you'd understand, Commander. You seem like that type of man.

[ Dying at this image. Dead and buried. Flawless image, etc. ]

I regret nothing

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

A good observation! I am that type of man!

As you should!!

[licentious]

There's something about you that just exemplifies, "hello world, may I please rule you eternally?". [ She's not quite sure where she's going with this, but, mocking someone's obvious intentions is always a favorite past time of hers. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss, that's exactly it! How did you know?

Ugh. It seems like every time real life is about to settle down, it just swirls up again!

[licentious]

A lucky guess. Are people commonly shocked to find out this aspiration of yours? [ Is she getting punked? ]

):

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Ssssome of them are, yesss.

[Usually, the stupider ones. But it does happen!]

OKAY now that I cleared my bday out of the picture it should be good!

[licentious]

That sounds a little hard to believe, but, unfortunately, stupidity is one of the most easily caught diseases.

[ She believes it. Sadly. ]

Happy birthday!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Unfortunately is right. And even more unfortunate is the fact that it tends to be caught by the wrong people at the worst possible time!

[Like his henchmen. Five minutes before G.I. Joe shows up. Because that is totally their fault and not his.]

[licentious]

It doesn't get caught, it just is. It just has outbreaks at the most crucial moments. I think it's because the high stress cuts off the oxygen flow to the brain, but, this theory has yet to be studied.

[ you can tell she has astounding faith in humanity!

It's okay. She'll sympathize with the protagonists showing up everywhere. ): ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It just is? Well then ssssomeone needs to stop it from existing!

[licentious]

I think that would require eradicating most humans from existence. [ She doesn't have any objections to that, actually! ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

If that's what needs to be done, then ssso be it.

[He'd prefer to conquer the world first. And obviously isn't including himself under the header of most humans.]

Unfortunately, that would prove almost impossible to accomplish here.

[licentious]

[ It's a shame, but most humans wouldn't put themselves under that header either. ]

I've heard that people gain immortality of sorts while they're here. I suppose this has its obvious downsides, but it has one upside for you. It means you can truly rule everyone. You'll have no shortage of people to make miserable when you become the leader of the world. [ she's being slightly sarcastic, but she feels the need to point this out anyways. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Don't worry; I'm well aware of that! I already have a list of who I plan to ssstart with!

[He has a bunch of lists.]

[licentious]

And I'd love to hear that list! [ That's actually very sweetly coated sarcasm, but it's not very obvious aside from a slightly fake peppy tone. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Another time, perhaps.

[What sarcasm? Cobra didn't notice any sarcasm.]

It's sssstill far from finished.

[licentious]

When it's finished, please do let me know. I'll have a grunt type it in the fanciest typography the standard Team Rocket computer has. [ Oh, the blessings of just getting used to technology! All the fonts you can type with... ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That sounds like a plan. Sssso long as it's still readable when it's finished, of course.

[licentious]

There's no point in producing something that can't be read. [ In other words: of course! ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

For the most part that's very true. But not always.

[Because he just has to be difficult about things.]

[licentious]

Can you think of a situation that would require typing something unreadable?

[ She's curious, and the tone of her voice implies a big level of disbelief. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Coded messages. Unreadable to most, but readable to the people they're intended for.