84 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Today we have some lovely footage of a Bloober moving around on Cobra's desk. Luckily, he had the sense to put down some plastic sheeting before letting the Bloober move (bloob?) around on it. Otherwise, he'd be throwing a tantrum about his desk being ruined by slime.]

I am going to assume most you know what these things are, and as you may have noticed none have been spotted in the wild for a few days now.Either they are extremely rare, or there are simply none left in either region. Sssso if you were planning to catch one, finding one could prove to be an extremely difficult, if not imposssible task.

But you aren't entirely out of luck! I happen to have obtained a number of these creatures and would be more than happy to ssssell them to anyone wanting to own one.

[He caught ten of them thinking he could something with them, and so far, they don't seem to do anything he finds useful like explode or shoot lasers, so he's done with this little experiment.]

Now given that the creatures are as rare as they are, and with seemingly no eggs on the market, I think it's only fair to ssssell them for a high price. Therefore, I will accept nothing lower than P100,000 per creature.

[He pulled that number out of thin air, but hey nine or ten of them at P100,000? That's a lot of money he can waste on stupid Cobra things.]

And before any of you complain or attempt to haggle, need I remind you that if they remain unsold, I will find another use for them. Target practice, perhaps.

[And that's where the feed ends.]

Comments

[ardent]

[Mnnngh.]

Well, how many do you have?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I believe I have about ten of them.

[He thought it was nine, but apparently a larger looking one was just two of them stuck together.]

So that would be P1,000,000 for all ten.

[ardent]

...I can afford it, should it come to that.

[God, he hates you so badly right now, Cobra.]

Notify me once your selling period is over - I'll handle whatever's remaining!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Okay, wait. Cobra Commander is essentially holding these Bloobers hostage and demanding money in exchange for their well being and...someone just agreed to pay for them? As in someone has actually, after years of being laughed at for doing things like this, met his demands?

This is...wow. He almost doesn't remember how to handle this anymore. He spends years demanding money in exchange for not doing things and gets nothing and then...this. He's almost speechless.

But that moment of surprise's over with and he's back to being Cobra now.]

Then we have a deal! If these remain unsold, then you will be the first to know!

[ardent]

[...Look, he's kind of really sick of people being jerks. He'll work on how he's going to keep this from giving you exactly what you want later, man.]

This still isn't acceptable by any means - but I expect the amount of money offered is going to be enough to get you to hold to that deal!

[why this

why any of this]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

But of course. Contrary to what you may think or what you may have been told, I would never even dream of doing sssomething like that. I'll be sssure to honor this agreement. You have little reason to worry otherwise.

[Because he really wants one million Pokedollars.]