49 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Cobra Commander actually managed to do things this week besides complain, and because of that, there’s two badges sitting on the table in the video. The Rainbow Badge and the Thunder Badge to be precise. Meaning for those who keep track of these things, he can actually use Fly now, obtained Strength, Giga Drain, and Thunder, all of which will be put to use at some point.]

Sssso that makes four. Three Gyms in Kanto, and one in Johto, and none of them have been worth the effort! Not a ssssingle one! I'm amazed that you people even bother with going around, trying to get them a-

[His rant is cut short as a Haunter sneaks up behind him, and in one quick move, yanks the hood off of his head. The camera moves from the badges to the laughing Haunter holding his mask.]

What? Give that back! Right now!

[The feed cuts out there.]

{OOC: Badges are mod approved, of course.

He'll be responding after he manages to get his mask back.}

Comments

[Video]

[tinymoonkid]

[...snerk]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[Congrats, Cobra, you now have a moonkid laughing at you.

...And the Petilil he just caught earlier, though she's being much more lady-like in her giggling.]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Okay, now that his face is covered again, he's ready to deal with this.]

Stop laughing at me! Both of you ssstop it right now! Or else!

[Video]

[tinymoonkid]

[still giggling, though trying to catch his breath enough to speak]

D-Dude, dude, dude. Maybe you should like, watch out, next time.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

How was I supposed to watch out for that? Haunters aren't common in this area, and certainly not indoors!

[Video]

[tinymoonkid]

Y'always gotta be on your toes, you know? Like, anything can happen at any moment!

["Peti peti!" The Petilil nods in agreement.]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Anything cannot happen at any moment! This was a freak occurrence! Nothing more!

[Video]

[tinymoonkid]

Still no reason not to be on your guard, dude!

Though, thanks for that. Like, I totally needed a good laugh!

[locked video]

[artfuldestruction]

What's supposed to be the appeal of those badges, anyway? Is the money really that good?

[locked video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

The money? Hah! No, it's not the money! They give out HMs as prizes. They're like TMs but can be used over and over again! And they make it easier to move from one town to the other.

But the leaders are ridiculousssly easy to beat! Like I said, it's almost not worth the effort!

[locked video]

[artfuldestruction]

'HMs', huh? Sounds fascinating, boss.

[[It doesn't, really, but Kato is happy to feign enthusiasm to stay in your good books, Cobra.]]

You've collected a few, then?

[locked video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss, a few. But not by choice! Two of them were needed to use one HM, which is completely absurd! The Gym in Ssssaffron gives you a device that lets your Pokemon Fly anywhere you want, but the badges from either Celadon or Violet are required to actually use it! Who came up with this nonsense?

[locked video]

[artfuldestruction]

It's probably designed to encourage people to attempt more of them. Are the gyms fairly treasured parts of the cities?

[locked video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Ssssomewhat. I'd say less than things like the Radio Tower, but more than things like the Marts and Pokemon Centers.

[He's just basing that off of what people tend to go look at.]

And I don't care what they're meant to encourage! They should either make more sense, or be closer together or they might encourage someone to burn them to the ground!

[video]

[usedsuperpower]

Hey! Cobra!

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yessss, what is it?

[video]

[usedsuperpower]

Stitch is a rocket now!

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You are? Congratulations! I told you if you worked for me, you'd get what you want!

[Actually, he has no idea if that's what got Stitch into TR, but he'll take credit for it anyway.]

[video]

[usedsuperpower]

Heeheee!


What do I do now?

_{[He was planning on finding some sort of superior and ask for... instructions or anything, but he has no idea who's on Team Rocket, and then 4th wall wiped him away to Cianwood.]}

[Private Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[He'll just take a second to lock this away from any prying eyes.]

Report to Goldenrod for basic training. Once that's over you're free to do as you wish for the most part.

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

Ah, even so... I wish I had the time to travel and visit the Gyms. My Pokémon could use the challenge, and I would get to see more of this strange world.

Will you tell me of your battles, Commander?

[Video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course I will!

[He'd probably do that even if Gorthan hadn't asked.]

Which one do you want to hear about?

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

Your favorite so far, if you do not mind.

[Video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

My favorite? That's an easy one! That would be my victory in Goldenrod! Before I begin, are you familiar with the Gym? More specifically, what happens every sssingle time someone defeats that annoying excuse for a Leader, Whitney?

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

[... Is this story going to be about rejoicing in a woman's distress? It's quite alright, however - as much as Gorthan dislikes such things, he really is in no position to condemn them.]

I am familiar with the building, yes, but not with the woman running it. Do tell.

[Video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[…sort of, but not really.]

Allow me to explain, then! The Leader’s name is Whitney, and she uses Normal-Type Pokémon! None of this makes her annoying though! What makes her so infuriating is that every sssingle time she loses, she throws a tantrum! Every time!

[Which of course sounds like no one present in this conversation.]

Sssso after months and months of hearing her cry when people showed their battles to the network, I decided to take it upon myself to shut her up! For good! But of course, that left a sssingle question: how do I do this? It took me some time to come up with the perfect answer! Challenge the Gym and hand her ssssuch a crushing defeat that it leaves her speechlessss! Forever!

[And now he’ll interrupt his story to cackle.]

Obvioussssly, her pathetic creatures were no match for my Pokémon! It was quite possibly the most overwhelming victory in the history of Johto! Ever!