cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 51

Current Location: Vermillion City

Entry tags:

51 | Video

[The feed displays one Cobra Commander. One Cobra Commander who apparently doesn’t care about hiding his location today. He’s in an office, and it’s the same one the Rockets have seen on his last video, but it may be a somewhat hard to figure out since the camera’s shaking back and forth. Also, he’s yelling. Really loudly. If this office wasn’t part of Team Rocket, there’d probably be an officer en route to issue citations for disturbing the peace.]

Look at thissss! Look at it!

[The camera swings around to show an open crate. It’s rather large, but doesn’t seem to have much in it. There are some scraps of colored paper on the bottom of it, and that’s about it.]

Thisss crate was carrying very important cargo and one of you had the audacity to sssteal it! And not just ssteal it, but leave me thisss…this garbage in its place!

[Yet another camera turn to a desk, clearly Cobra Commander does not care if anyone gets motion sickness from his rage fueled camerawork. On top of the desk are several items, and he takes the time to focus on each one of them. The first is an overturned sack and an assortment of play money, some of it shredded into confetti. The second is a plastic disc, similar to HM02. The third is an obviously fake deed for Cianwood City. Now that everyone’s gotten a good look at this stuff, the Commander finally turns the camera to his face, and he's definitely not done yelling yet.]

One of you decided to steal my property and replace it with thisss junk! And I have a very good idea of who it was sssince they were stupid enough to leave a note! And you will pay! You will pay dearly! I will recover my property and make sure you ssssuffer for your little joke! On earth I’ve held the world hostage and brought nations to their knees! I’ve committed numerous criminal acts here in Johto, and all of that will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do when I find you! All of them! I’ll use every connection I have in Johto and Kanto to have you found and destroyed! And if anyone tries to help you or get in my way, then they’ll suffer the sssame fate! Or worse!

And to that brat who thought he could assault me and get away with it, I haven’t forgotten about that! I’ll get you too! Remember that! No one attacks Cobra Commander and gets away with it! Especially not you!

[He could go on and on, but he'll cut the feed there. Being attacked and robbed in the same week has done wonders for his temper.]

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[Now that he's calmed down the Pokémon in the Azalea PokéCenter who were startled when several PokéGears came on at once to Cobra's raging, he can turn to the source of the problem.]

You're too loud. Be quiet.

[Because that's going to go over so well.]

[Well, he's not going to take that well at all.]

Be quiet? You dare tell me to be quiet? I don't think you understand! Ssssomeone has committed a capital offense against me and they are going to pay for it! They are going to pay dearly! And everyone should know about it! Everyone! It's that important!

[Apollo is unimpressed with your outrage.]

You scared the Pokémon at the PokéCenter with all that yelling.

What did they do that's so important that everyone has to know?

Are you deaf or sssomething? I've been robbed! This is unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! And who cares if the Pokemon are ssscared? I certainly don't! All I care about is finding the person responsssible for thissss!

[Sorry Cobra, Apollo wasn't paying attention to what you were actually saying, just your volume.

Also, you just brought up something more important than your throne.]

I care. Pokémon are more important than you.

They are not! No one is more important than me! No one! And certainly not Pokemon!

[Because Pokemon are just tools. Doesn't everyone get that?]

You aren't any better than any other human, and humans aren't better than Pokémon.

You probably deserved to have someone steal whatever it was they took.

[At least one person will never accept you views.]

You should watch your mouth! You have no idea who you're ssspeaking with!

[He did deserve it, and he knows that, but he's not going to admit it.]

And didn't you listen? I'm better than both of them! Combined!

No, I don't know who you are. I don't really care, either.

[Well at least he has that much awareness of himself.]

Didn't you listen? Humans and Pokémon are equals. Only idiots and bastards don't know that.

Are you calling me an idiot? You'll pay for that remark too! No one insults me and gets away with it! No one! And they're both equals in that they're both beneath me! People and Pokemon are nothing more than tools that I use to get what I want! Nothing more!

[Well it was Cobra's choice which option he picked there. He could have gone for "bastard" instead.

And as we all saw coming, Cobra went there. Apollo's yelling now.]

Pokémon aren't things for you to do whatever you want to! Just because you can't understand them doesn't mean they don't feel anything! They're alive and they can suffer and have feelings just like humans can! What me or you or anyone else wants from them doesn't matter!

You don't understand.

[Hey, he finally stopped yelling. At least for now.]

Only a complete idiot would think that. All of my Pokemon know a move called Frustration which is clearly tied to their feelings. The sssame goes for Pokemon that evolve via happiness. Ssso it's very obvious that they do! I sssimply don't care what it is they feel so long as they do as they're told. The sssame goes for human beings, robots, and any other creature that aids my cause!

[Well. Ignorance he can gripe at and try to fix. This? This is what he had assumed all humans were like before he learned that it was usually just ignorance. Apollo Is Not Happy.]

If you understand that they have feelings you should care about them you bastard! You better hope I never meet you face-to-face!

[~~Eyes turning red~~ Wait, no, he can't do that here.

This makes me hope that there's an event where he can get a reusable Return TM, because his Pokémon all have max happiness, unlike Cobra's.]

Oh, no need to worry about that! We'll never meet face to face.

[Because his face really isn't something he shows to people.]

But all the sssame, I think you're the one that should hope we never meet! Because you have absolutely no idea who you're dealing with! I am Cobra Commander, wanted terrorist and future ruler of the world! And I should care? Why? Caring didn't help me found Cobra! Caring didn't get me where I am today! Caring isn't going to help me crush my enemies or conquer the world! No, caring is hardly ssssomething I should do! But weak, pathetic individuals like you can care all you like! I don't care!

[And now he's just going to laugh at his own oh so clever phrasing.]

You sound like one of the stupid poachers who brag about how they're going to take down a big buck but only end up wounding it and letting it get away.

[His not being impressed or intimidated is helped by him not understanding a lot of what Cobra's saying.]

Just because I care about my friends that doesn't mean I'm weak! You don't look any stronger than me! [Even though Cobra's probably three times Apollo's age and a foot or two taller.]

Oh, but it does! People who care about things like compassion and friendship are weak! And that's all there is to it! And weak people should either fall in line or be destroyed!

[Or more. His age is a complete mess.]

No it doesn't! I'm not weak, and I'm not going to do either of those things! If we ever meet I'll prove it!

[The sad fate of many a villain in a long-running franchise.]

The only thing you're going to prove is how pathetically weak you are!

[True, but most villains don't have no origin, then a contradictory one, then mutate into a snake monster, then no more explanations ever again.]

You'll see how strong I am!

[...That bad, eh?

Well this is certainly getting their relationship off on exactly the right foot for That Plan, eh? XD]

No, I'll see how weak you are!

[They're enemies for life now as far as Cobra's concerned.]

You'll find out then!

[Cobra's pretty quick to make enemies. Wonder if he'd propose on a first date, too? XD

Works well for us, though. Any chance of him leaving Vermilion next month? Unless something else comes up, Apollo will be spending July traveling to the Lake of Rage. Need to get that boy a Fly HM. Can be have Cobra's old one now that he got anoth-OH WAIT. XD]

No, you're the one who's going to be finding out!

[Who knows? His social life was only mentioned once and it didn't really go into much detail.

He'll have left already to go retrieve his chair, but that's pretty much nonstop flying from Goldenrod to Cianwood only stopping to let Skarmory rest and then back to Vermillion again. Don't have anything really planned for July at this point though so if I can get him to Mahogany Town, I'll let you know.]

I guess we'll both find out who's stronger then!

[*nods* We'll see what opportunities come up. Not like there's a huge rush. After all, it's always a good time to humiliate Cobra. XD]

No, we will not both find out! I already know that I'm ssstronger than you!

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