Cobra Commander

[After an incredibly long absence, for Cobra anyway, Cobra Commander's made his return to the Pokegear. And he's in one of those weird nondescript rooms the Goldenrod Rocket base is apparently full of.

And there'd be some nostalgia over the fact that he hasn't broadcasted from here in quite some time, but he's too busy being mad.]

I sssspent months of planning, months of making sure everything was perfect! Only to fall victim to not just the handiwork of a couple of do-gooders, but of a ssssaboteur! But make no misstake, I am in no means deterred from continuing to do whatever I can to try and make thissss world mine! No prison, no act of ssssabotage, no ssself appointed heroes, nothing will ssstop me! Nothing!

[He's basically angrily shaking his fists at the camera. Wow.]

In fact, I will not ssstop until the world is mine, or the day I depart from thissss world! So if I were all of you, I would hope the latter happens sssssoon enough!

[And that's the end of his public tirade. Now if you're a Rocket, there'll be a message for you guys as well.]
( Private Rocket Video )

No! No! No! No! No!

[...that sure is Cobra Commander throwing a fit in what appears to be Azalea Town. Apparently he's not happy everything's back to normal now.]

I don't care if thissss happens all the time, this is unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! I want my command center back and I want it back now! I dissstinctly remember having one!

[ He remembers a building and pushing buttons. Something may have been launched. That's about it. He doesn't even remember where it was, which leads to his next demand.]

And directions to where it is! Because it certainly wasn't in thissss miserable place!

[Yup, for the record, he still hates Azalea Town. In fact...]

If anything, ssssomeone should raze thisss stupid town to the ground and replace it with something useful!

[He's not going to do that today though. No, instead he's probably going to fly out of here right away and go somewhere that doesn't inspire him to cause new acts of stupidity.]

[Today's video seems to be accidental in nature. The Gear's not near Cobra Commander, but he's visible in the shot, and doesn't seem to have any idea it's on. He's clearly yelling at someone, but whoever it is can't be seen in the frame.]

What do you mean it's missssing? I demand you check again! And keep checking until you find it! Do you have any idea what they'll do to me if they find out it's missing? Or any idea what I'll do to you? Because I guarantee that whatever Team Rocket does to me, I'll pay back to you tenfold!

[Yes, he apparently just outed himself as a Rocket to everyone watching the video. As if it wasn't already painfully obvious.]

Now go! Get out of here! And don't come back until you find it!

[Done with that, he turns around, notices the Pokegear, and just...stops, staring at it. If his expression were visible, he'd be looking horrified right now.]

What? How did this get here? Wraith, were you playing with my things again?

[And after picking up the Gear.]

This was recording? Sssso everyone saw....no! This is a complete disaster!

{OOC: So yeah, Cobra sure did out himself as a Rocket. And as to what's missing...it's nothing. There'll be an OOC post and another post later this month/early next month explaining more of what's going on, but basically he's up to no good again and trying to be sneakier about it. Keyword here is trying. And this was approved by both Sunny and Alex!}

[Video A]
[Today’s the 8th. That means another video (or three) from Cobra. He’s standing next to a building in Pallet Town wearing what appears to be a winter coat despite the fact that it’s May. And he doesn’t seem to be very happy about his demands being met.]

I had thought that the threat of complete annihilation would be enough to get what I want. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently mere words are not enough to convince you all to make the right decisions even when those words come from someone such as myself. Sssso since I failed to convince you with words, you now leave me no choice but to offer a demonstration of what I’m capable of.

[And with that, Cobra produces a small remote from his pocket and pushes a button.]

Keep an eye on your PokéGears. Ssssoon you shall have proof that my threats were far from empty!

[Video B]
[About fifteen minutes after the first broadcast ends, there’s a second video from Cobra. Same location as before, but there appears to be some sort of freak storm going on. Hail, lightning, high winds, and even some snow. Cobra’s keeping his Pokémon off screen and separated in order to make it look as natural as possible. Or well as natural as a freak ice storm in early May can be.

And the whole time this is going on, Cobra’s cackling like an idiot again. Unfortunately, this goes on for quite a while before he cuts the feed.]

[Video C]
[Tired of Cobra yet? Yes? Too bad. There’s a third video sometime later, showing the aftermath of the storm. Nothing’s leveled or anything like that, but the Pokémon equivalent of Home Depot is probably going to be pretty busy over the next couple weeks or so.]

Take a good look at thisss! Take a good look and remember that next time, it will be wor-

[Okay, hang on, there’s something off screen taking up most of Cobra’s attention.]

Under arrest? Is thissss some sort of joke? You dare arrest me?

[After several minutes of arguing and trying to threaten his way out of this, Cobra’s finally handcuffed.]

You can’t do thissss to me! You’ll pay for thissss! I have rights! I want a lawyer! You’ll pay for thisss!

[And with that, Cobra’s final video for the day comes to a close.]

{OOC: Okay, here’s the attack/arrest that goes with this. Just let me know which video(s) are being responded to. If anyone’s actually in Pallet Town, feel free to encounter Cobra or one of his Pokemon. He has Castform, Vanilluxe, Electrode, Drifblim, Gyarados, and Abomasnow with him.

Additionally, responses to Video C will be coming from Cobra's jail cell!}

[The following broadcast from the Commander is audio only, and he is definitely not in a good mood about things. Then again that’s what happens when he expects victory and instead gets defeat. Especially when said defeat was seen by an entire stadium’s worth of people.]

Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: that idiot won out of luck, not sssskill!

[He is of course, referring to his tournament match against Crow Hogan. Which was won using a smart strategy, not luck!]

Luck! That’s all! There’s no way he could’ve have beaten me otherwise! No way! And not one of you had better say anything different! Or else! One thing’s for ssssure though, I’m going to enjoy watching his next opponent, whoever it may be, wipe the floor with him!

[The transmission ends there.]

When are these sssstorms going to end?

[For those listening in, there’s the typical cave music and…splashing? Also some sounds that could be the noise from Grimers moving around.]

This is ridiculoussss! I’ve devoted countless hours to planning my attack, and now I can’t do anything! Not a sssingle thing!

[Cobra’s way too mad to bother with lying or trying to not look completely harmless here.]

How could thisss happen a second time? I haven’t been here in years, and yet the ssssame thing happens that happened last time! This is no mere coincidence! No, it can’t be! It had better not be! So help me if I find out that any of you or your Pokémon are responsssible for this, there will be consequences! Dire consequences!

[What follows next is a rather odd noise. The sound of a combat boot connecting with and sinking into muck. It seems that at that the end of his fit, Cobra Commander decided to kick his Grimer, and now his foot is stuck.]

What is thissss? Unhand me at once! Right now! I’m your trainer, and you will do as I ssssay!

[There’s a thud as the Grimer lets go and Cobra hits the ground. Unfortunately, the Gear also hits the ground, ending the audio broadcast there.]

[The feed displays one Cobra Commander. One Cobra Commander who apparently doesn’t care about hiding his location today. He’s in an office, and it’s the same one the Rockets have seen on his last video, but it may be a somewhat hard to figure out since the camera’s shaking back and forth. Also, he’s yelling. Really loudly. If this office wasn’t part of Team Rocket, there’d probably be an officer en route to issue citations for disturbing the peace.]

Look at thissss! Look at it!

[The camera swings around to show an open crate. It’s rather large, but doesn’t seem to have much in it. There are some scraps of colored paper on the bottom of it, and that’s about it.]

Thisss crate was carrying very important cargo and one of you had the audacity to sssteal it! And not just ssteal it, but leave me thisss…this garbage in its place!

[Yet another camera turn to a desk, clearly Cobra Commander does not care if anyone gets motion sickness from his rage fueled camerawork. On top of the desk are several items, and he takes the time to focus on each one of them. The first is an overturned sack and an assortment of play money, some of it shredded into confetti. The second is a plastic disc, similar to HM02. The third is an obviously fake deed for Cianwood City. Now that everyone’s gotten a good look at this stuff, the Commander finally turns the camera to his face, and he's definitely not done yelling yet.]

One of you decided to steal my property and replace it with thisss junk! And I have a very good idea of who it was sssince they were stupid enough to leave a note! And you will pay! You will pay dearly! I will recover my property and make sure you ssssuffer for your little joke! On earth I’ve held the world hostage and brought nations to their knees! I’ve committed numerous criminal acts here in Johto, and all of that will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do when I find you! All of them! I’ll use every connection I have in Johto and Kanto to have you found and destroyed! And if anyone tries to help you or get in my way, then they’ll suffer the sssame fate! Or worse!

And to that brat who thought he could assault me and get away with it, I haven’t forgotten about that! I’ll get you too! Remember that! No one attacks Cobra Commander and gets away with it! Especially not you!

[He could go on and on, but he'll cut the feed there. Being attacked and robbed in the same week has done wonders for his temper.]

[The camera’s focusing on a half-eaten box of chocolates and a mysterious Pokemon egg, but something’s pretty off with the Commander’s voice. He’s still yelling, but he doesn’t sound as angry as he usually does. In fact he sounds happy. Very happy. As if having his security breached for the umpteenth time is just the most wonderful thing ever.]

Who put thissss here? I want a name! And where did this egg come from? Why does this keep happening?

[And then he starts laughing. It stops after a few minutes. Sort of. He’s still giggling while he talks.]

And why can I sssstop acting like this? Have I been drugged? What’s going on? Someone-

[And back to uncontrollable laughter again.]

Ssssomeone explain this right now!