cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 75

[There's a face or lack thereof on the Gear today that hasn't been around in a while. Cobra Commander's making his first broadcast since June, and for that matter, seems to have missed the memo that it's currently August.]

Thisss month is almost over. And next month brings a very important day, one that any Americans here would be extremely familiar with: the Fourth of July! Independence Day!

[Yeah, he still hasn't checked the date on this thing.]

And even though Johto and Kanto don't celebrate thisss holiday, I sssee no reason to let thisss occasion pass without some sort of celebration! Therefore, to mark that day, I've decided to sssstage a fireworks demonstration! Yessss, a Cobra sponsored fireworks demonstration sssset in a major city! And there's nothing anyone can do to ssssstop it!

[And Cobra's broadcast concludes with some evil laughter before the screen goes black.]

{OOC: Had to take a hiatus for the past two months due to some family stuff, but I'm back now. Cobra's been glitched to explain where he was, which is why he thinks it's still late June.}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Commander, it's almost September. It is good to hear from you, however. I was beginning to wonder if you had been sent home.

Why does everyone keep ssssaying that? It is not almost September! And why would you think that? I haven't gone anywhere!

If everyone's saying it, it might not be a coincidence, Commander.

[He sounds vaguely amused, but he's actually not smirking! Yet, anyway.]

It's been quite some time since we heard from you.

[...or everyone is stupid but him. And that thought has occurred to Cobra quite a few times.

Either way, he'd be an idiot to try and not get some information on what's going on.]

If what you're sssaying is true, and it very well may be, then how long has it been?

Let's see... we last heard from you in June and it's the end of August now.

[So that means he's missing about two months. This isn't the first time that's happened either.]

If that's true, did anything happen that would explain such a thing? Was there an attack by a Legendary or some ssssort of freak accident?

[...did someone try and capture Suicune again and cause another Pokeapoclaypse?]

[Archer takes a moment to lock down the feed. His expression looks slightly more displeased than usual.]

No, nothing of the sort has happened. You didn't return to your world? Though I suppose that usually only takes a week...

If I had returned to my world, I would've mentioned something about my successsful conquest of it and how fortunate that I was brought back to continue my attempts to do the sssame here.

[Or complaining about his defeat in the almost impossible event that he somehow loses to G.I. Joe. Again.]

[...Yeah, he's betting on you losing rather than winning, sorry Cobra...]

That's what I would have thought. How odd. Perhaps it has something to do with how we were brought to this world? Perhaps you returned home, but didn't move forward in time there?

Then it was a complete waste of time and cossst me two months! Two months that I could have spent doing ssssomething productive with my time! Like taking hostages or threatening to bomb a landmark off the face of the earth or doing anything other than nothing!

There's plenty of time to catch up, Commander. Two months of peace is enough to catch people by surprise.

Ssssso nothing happened during my...absence?

[Let's go with that since it's becoming more and more apparent that he actually was gone for two months.]

How dissssappointing!

You aren't the only one who's disappointed, Commander. Unfortunately, Kimblee and I still have weaker Pokémon and are incapable of doing any serious damage until we've earned the Gym Badge from Blackthorn.

[He certainly doesn't look pleased with that.]

And how long will that take?

Without Fly it will take us quite some time to get through the ice caves to Blackthorn and then return. I doubt we'll be able to manage anything this month.

I sssssee.

[Unfortunately, even Cobra has to admit that there's nothing he can do to hurry things along there.]

Perhaps next month then?

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