Cobra Commander (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) wrote2012-06-23 01:51 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) wrote2012-06-23 01:51 pm
51 | Video
[The feed displays one Cobra Commander. One Cobra Commander who apparently doesn’t care about hiding his location today. He’s in an office, and it’s the same one the Rockets have seen on his last video, but it may be a somewhat hard to figure out since the camera’s shaking back and forth. Also, he’s yelling. Really loudly. If this office wasn’t part of Team Rocket, there’d probably be an officer en route to issue citations for disturbing the peace.]
Look at thissss! Look at it!
[The camera swings around to show an open crate. It’s rather large, but doesn’t seem to have much in it. There are some scraps of colored paper on the bottom of it, and that’s about it.]
Thisss crate was carrying very important cargo and one of you had the audacity to sssteal it! And not just ssteal it, but leave me thisss…this garbage in its place!
[Yet another camera turn to a desk, clearly Cobra Commander does not care if anyone gets motion sickness from his rage fueled camerawork. On top of the desk are several items, and he takes the time to focus on each one of them. The first is an overturned sack and an assortment of play money, some of it shredded into confetti. The second is a plastic disc, similar to HM02. The third is an obviously fake deed for Cianwood City. Now that everyone’s gotten a good look at this stuff, the Commander finally turns the camera to his face, and he's definitely not done yelling yet.]
One of you decided to steal my property and replace it with thisss junk! And I have a very good idea of who it was sssince they were stupid enough to leave a note! And you will pay! You will pay dearly! I will recover my property and make sure you ssssuffer for your little joke! On earth I’ve held the world hostage and brought nations to their knees! I’ve committed numerous criminal acts here in Johto, and all of that will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do when I find you! All of them! I’ll use every connection I have in Johto and Kanto to have you found and destroyed! And if anyone tries to help you or get in my way, then they’ll suffer the sssame fate! Or worse!
And to that brat who thought he could assault me and get away with it, I haven’t forgotten about that! I’ll get you too! Remember that! No one attacks Cobra Commander and gets away with it! Especially not you!
[He could go on and on, but he'll cut the feed there. Being attacked and robbed in the same week has done wonders for his temper.]
Look at thissss! Look at it!
[The camera swings around to show an open crate. It’s rather large, but doesn’t seem to have much in it. There are some scraps of colored paper on the bottom of it, and that’s about it.]
Thisss crate was carrying very important cargo and one of you had the audacity to sssteal it! And not just ssteal it, but leave me thisss…this garbage in its place!
[Yet another camera turn to a desk, clearly Cobra Commander does not care if anyone gets motion sickness from his rage fueled camerawork. On top of the desk are several items, and he takes the time to focus on each one of them. The first is an overturned sack and an assortment of play money, some of it shredded into confetti. The second is a plastic disc, similar to HM02. The third is an obviously fake deed for Cianwood City. Now that everyone’s gotten a good look at this stuff, the Commander finally turns the camera to his face, and he's definitely not done yelling yet.]
One of you decided to steal my property and replace it with thisss junk! And I have a very good idea of who it was sssince they were stupid enough to leave a note! And you will pay! You will pay dearly! I will recover my property and make sure you ssssuffer for your little joke! On earth I’ve held the world hostage and brought nations to their knees! I’ve committed numerous criminal acts here in Johto, and all of that will pale in comparison to what I’m going to do when I find you! All of them! I’ll use every connection I have in Johto and Kanto to have you found and destroyed! And if anyone tries to help you or get in my way, then they’ll suffer the sssame fate! Or worse!
And to that brat who thought he could assault me and get away with it, I haven’t forgotten about that! I’ll get you too! Remember that! No one attacks Cobra Commander and gets away with it! Especially not you!
[He could go on and on, but he'll cut the feed there. Being attacked and robbed in the same week has done wonders for his temper.]
[private video]
You said you have an idea of who did this...?
[private video]
[He'll just reach into his pocket and dramatically produce a piece of paper. Unfortunately, since being mad is sort of reducing his competency levels far beyond their normal state, he doesn't hold it up to the camera.]
Do you ssssee this? They included thisss note! And this note gives me a clear idea of who they are! Once I get a name or description, they're finished! Finished!
[private video]
Criminal masterminds, ladies and gentlemen.]
I...can't exactly say that I can see it from here, no - what is it that's so distinctive about it?
[private video]
It's a riddle! Telling me where my chair is!
[That's what all this is about. Someone snatched his giant snake chair. It's about this big, with snakes carved into the arm rests. Seen it anywhere?]
And there's only one person I know who wastes my time with thisss sort of nonsense!
[private video]
Wait. Wait. So you're saying that...
[...]
Someone stole your...chair.
[...
... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...COBRA IS ALL OF THIS SERIOUSLY OVER A CHAIR
IS
IT
REALLY
oh my god if he were a lesser man he'd cry]
[private video]
Yes, I'm sssaying that someone took my throne! Someone pried open the crate I put it in, ssstole it, and filled the crate with junk! To mock me!
[He'll pan the camera back to the shredded play money, the deed, and that disc to prove his point. See? Junk.]
[private video]
You have a throne.
[...and by "catching up", I mean "he's missing the forest for the trees." Right. Right, that's probably not terribly important, hold on, let him try to just...get his brain to stop crying at you.]
Was anything else stolen, besides this throne of yours?
[He's honestly still trying to get over the fact that you have a throne to begin with. You actually have a goddamn throne. He has no idea how he feels about this, or how one even goes about obtaining thrones to begin with - don't they just sort of come with the whole ruling-things territory? Logically someone has to make them, but for some reason it had never occurred to him until just now that you could technically just go out and purchase a throne like it wasn't even a thing. Huh. Learn something new every day.
...either way, this certainly explains a whole lot about Cobra, there, goodness.]
[private video]
[Doesn't every megalomaniac wanting to conquer the world have one?]
And nothing else was sssstolen! It was the only thing in the crate! I'm lucky I didn't put anything else in there! They would have taken that too! And then things would be even worse!
[private video]
>Father
>Fuhrer King Bradley
>that huge board room full of old military dudes that wanted immortality
...well, damn, son, you have a point.]
Well, I meant anything besides what was in the crate; if they were able to get into something like that, I wouldn't be surprised if they could infiltrate elsewhere as well.
[private video]
[He is going to yell at Machoke so much once he's done with the Gear. It was that thing's job to transport the crate and just look what happened!]
Is there no end to the amount of problems that ssseem to inhabit that blasted city? It should be wiped off the map! Maybe I'll do that after I get my hands on that thief!