60 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[For the first time in almost a month, Cobra Commander is making a video broadcast for everyone in Johto to see. He’s hiding out in a room in Blackthorn, but has made sure to conceal anything that would pinpoint his whereabouts. The camera’s pointed at the room’s desk, specifically at the complete set of Johto badges sitting on top of it.]

And that makes eight. For being the last one, I expected more of a challenge, but I suppose that was too much to ask for. You would think that a Gym Leader would be prepared to deal with level 100 Pokémon, but apparently not.

[It had been a relatively close battle until Cobra Commander brought in some of his level 100 Pokémon to finish off Clair’s team. Having thirty levels on the opponent’s Pokémon provided an advantage he definitely wouldn’t have had otherwise.]

But my complete obliteration of Johto’s Gyms over the course of a year is hardly the only thing I want to talk about today.

[He’ll reposition the camera now so it’s pointing at his mask, which means he wants to address the audience.]

I take it you all ssstill remember the recent environmental disaster in Azalea Town?

[Which sounds way more impressive than just saying he poisoned the Slowpoke Well.]

Well, I have some information to reveal about that. A certain idiot decided to go help clean up the mess. I’m not sure who knows him, but he made a rather angry broadcast directed at me soon after it happened.

[Cobra pauses here. He wants to be as dramatic as possible with this one. He wants other people to think he’s responsible for this even though he’s not. ]

It was his last!

[He’ll just let that sink in before continuing.]

As some of you may have noticed, Zulf’s gear signal stopped being registered some time ago! And I assure you it is no coincidence that it happened after he decided to expose himself to the various toxins contaminating Sssslowpoke Well. No, it’s no coincidence at all! Merely a reminder of what my Pokémon, and by extension what I, Cobra Commander, am capable of! Let that be a lesson to those who get in my way!

[It is actually a coincidence, but Cobra’s not going to let that stop him from filling the rest of the video with maniacal laughter until it ends.]

{OOC: Olivine, Mahogany, and Blackthorn badges were all mod approved over the past month or so! And Cobra taking advantage of Zulf's disappearance was cleared with the mun!}

Comments

[video]

[explosivecombat]

[All right, Cobra, while Kimblee is not sure what to do with the knowledge that you killed the tiny pale thing, that isn't too jarring for him given what it is that he does -

...

... ... ...

...wait. Wait, you. You actually seem to have killed the tiny pale thing. Hold the hell on - ]

I was under the impression that death doesn't follow us here.

[Private Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[He'll take a moment to filter this, so that his nonsense doesn't leak to the general public.]

As far as I know, that's ssstill true. But the timing of his disappearance was far too good of an opportunity to pass up.

[Private Video]

[explosivecombat]

[...oh in Leto's name, don't do that; he has reason to be concerned if things like that aren't a coincidence.

Admittedly, that reason is "He's horribly reckless in fights and battles, and is a pretty good contender for Most Likely To Get Himself Killed In A Horribly Anticlimactic Manner," but still. He doesn't have anything to go home to, bro.

...that said, however, he doesn't entirely disapprove of the trolling, so just give him a second to get his swag back on, okay.]

Simply trying to rile the public, then?

[Private Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Exactly. People disappear from here every day, and that's usually little for them to worry about. But someone disappears who was last seen publicly antagonizing me and hanging around the sssite of my last attack? Now that should give them a little more to worry about. Let them think I was involved or had a hand in his disappearance. That train of thought can only benefit my reputation.

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

[waking up from a rather nice nap to this, hang on, he's yawning...]

Ahhhhh, it's definitely a coincidence.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

No, it's not! It is not a coincidence! It's the truth!

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

No, it's definitely coincidence. It's pretty disgusting, what you did in there, but nowhere near deadly.

Besides, people disappear all the time at random. That's nothing new.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Hey, he's offended by that. He spent days watching his Pokemon contaminate that water.]

And how would you know? Were you there? Did you collect samples of the contaminated water for testing? Did you assist in the cleanup? I think not! You're far too lazy to do any of that! So you should keep your mouth shut about matters you know nothing about unless you want to end up like Zulf!

[video]

[iownahoofbeast]

If you mean to claim responsibility for this person's death, you should be more forthright about it.

[Seriously, what is with humans and dancing around this kind of stuff. Not only is it annoying, it's remarkably nonthreatening.]

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What do you mean? I believe I was rather clear about it.

[And besides, Cobra finds it boring to not make a big deal out of things.]

Re: [video]

[iownahoofbeast]

At no point did you directly state that you had killed him. It is all couched in useless implication and verbal misdirection.

[He tolerates this kind of thing from a few people. The Commander is not one of them.]

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[He really wasn't expecting anyone to analyze it that intelligently.]

It doesn't matter how it was sssaid! What's done is done and that's all that matters!

video;

[ex_cashcow493]

[ Man Saber what does it say about you when the bad guy has more badges than yourself? ]

Is there a mute function on this device?

video;

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You wouldn't dare mute Cobra Commander!

video;

[ex_cashcow493]

Ah, here it is. [ Pressing something on her PokeGear. ]

I suspect things will be so much more peaceful now.

video;

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You didn't! You couldn't have! You are not going to get away with thisssss!

[Of course, with the Gear muted, it's probably impossible to make out exactly what he's saying since his mouth is covered. He's shaking his fist at the camera in anger though, so it's probably easy to guess.]

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

My sincerest congratulations, Commander.

[And, as Gorthan smiles at him, he actually seems sincere.]

And... ah. I shall miss Zulf. An individual with a fascinating job, and no doubt a deep knowledge of the human heart and mind. Conversation with him was very interesting... but he must have missed his home. Speaking of which, I'll have to disagree with you - his disappearance is likely a coincidence. Unless you have more up your sleeve than I thought, Commander.

[Video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Cobra frowns, not that it's visible. That idiot's job was not fascinating, and conversation with him was only interesting because of how foolish he was. He's never going to understand how Gorthan can enjoy associating with people like that.]

Perhaps I do have more up my sleeve than you thought. Underestimating me is rarely a wise choice.

[Video.]

[shakespearealien]

Knowing you, if you truly did, you would have told the world already. So with all due respect, Commander, I stand by my opinion.

[Video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Then with all due respect, it is my duty to inform you that you're wrong. I don't reveal every card in my hand to everyone, and dessspite what you and a number of others may choose to believe, I am quite capable of keeping things hidden.

Video

[red_roses]

There was...a disaster? Some kind of accident?

Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Oh, no. It was no accident. It was very much on purpose.

[Snickering.]

Re: Video

[red_roses]

But! Why?

Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Why?

[He'll take a moment to pretend to think it over.]

Because I felt like filling the Slowpoke Well with toxic waste and other poisons! That's why!

not here

[licentious]

[ As much of a lie this is, she's still somehow impressed that Commander Cobra is rapidly going up the rungs of the "evil" ladder.

A+ ]