cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 60

[For the first time in almost a month, Cobra Commander is making a video broadcast for everyone in Johto to see. He’s hiding out in a room in Blackthorn, but has made sure to conceal anything that would pinpoint his whereabouts. The camera’s pointed at the room’s desk, specifically at the complete set of Johto badges sitting on top of it.]

And that makes eight. For being the last one, I expected more of a challenge, but I suppose that was too much to ask for. You would think that a Gym Leader would be prepared to deal with level 100 Pokémon, but apparently not.

[It had been a relatively close battle until Cobra Commander brought in some of his level 100 Pokémon to finish off Clair’s team. Having thirty levels on the opponent’s Pokémon provided an advantage he definitely wouldn’t have had otherwise.]

But my complete obliteration of Johto’s Gyms over the course of a year is hardly the only thing I want to talk about today.

[He’ll reposition the camera now so it’s pointing at his mask, which means he wants to address the audience.]

I take it you all ssstill remember the recent environmental disaster in Azalea Town?

[Which sounds way more impressive than just saying he poisoned the Slowpoke Well.]

Well, I have some information to reveal about that. A certain idiot decided to go help clean up the mess. I’m not sure who knows him, but he made a rather angry broadcast directed at me soon after it happened.

[Cobra pauses here. He wants to be as dramatic as possible with this one. He wants other people to think he’s responsible for this even though he’s not. ]

It was his last!

[He’ll just let that sink in before continuing.]

As some of you may have noticed, Zulf’s gear signal stopped being registered some time ago! And I assure you it is no coincidence that it happened after he decided to expose himself to the various toxins contaminating Sssslowpoke Well. No, it’s no coincidence at all! Merely a reminder of what my Pokémon, and by extension what I, Cobra Commander, am capable of! Let that be a lesson to those who get in my way!

[It is actually a coincidence, but Cobra’s not going to let that stop him from filling the rest of the video with maniacal laughter until it ends.]

{OOC: Olivine, Mahogany, and Blackthorn badges were all mod approved over the past month or so! And Cobra taking advantage of Zulf's disappearance was cleared with the mun!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[All right, Cobra, while Kimblee is not sure what to do with the knowledge that you killed the tiny pale thing, that isn't too jarring for him given what it is that he does -

...

... ... ...

...wait. Wait, you. You actually seem to have killed the tiny pale thing. Hold the hell on - ]

I was under the impression that death doesn't follow us here.

[He'll take a moment to filter this, so that his nonsense doesn't leak to the general public.]

As far as I know, that's ssstill true. But the timing of his disappearance was far too good of an opportunity to pass up.

[...oh in Leto's name, don't do that; he has reason to be concerned if things like that aren't a coincidence.

Admittedly, that reason is "He's horribly reckless in fights and battles, and is a pretty good contender for Most Likely To Get Himself Killed In A Horribly Anticlimactic Manner," but still. He doesn't have anything to go home to, bro.

...that said, however, he doesn't entirely disapprove of the trolling, so just give him a second to get his swag back on, okay.]

Simply trying to rile the public, then?

Exactly. People disappear from here every day, and that's usually little for them to worry about. But someone disappears who was last seen publicly antagonizing me and hanging around the sssite of my last attack? Now that should give them a little more to worry about. Let them think I was involved or had a hand in his disappearance. That train of thought can only benefit my reputation.

Ah, that's more than fair enough. Although we can only hope you don't end up answering to someone who's likewise in the area - was Zulf working with anyone else?

I have no idea.

[For all he knows Zulf was working with the Johto equivalent of the Red Cross down there.]

I don't believe sssso. Despite his complete idiocy in ssssupporting concepts like charity and goodwill, he seemed to take up causes independently. I can sssay for certain that I don't recall him mentioning working with anyone.

I can see it, actually; I spent some time around him a while back. He was always alone when I encountered him, at any rate.

I take it you didn't hold him in very high regard...?

He was an idiot! But one I had little to no problems with for the most part. For the most part! Until recently! Apparently my attack on the Slowpoke Well offended him, and then he chose to promote himself from an occasional source of entertainment to sssomeone who I might have needed to crush some day.

Is that so? I would think you would be pleased for the opportunity; while I don't take pleasure in crushing them, per se - they don't learn if you crush them, after all, rendering it all a bit moot - I have to admit that there's a certain satisfaction in opening the eyes of the idealists.

I had more pressing matters to attend to than backtracking to Azalea Town.

[Like badge collecting!]

If we had run into each other, I certainly would've dealt with him right then and there, but at the time, it was a low priority sssituation.

Of course. There's also no sense in going to them when they're more likely to stomp over and come to you, after all.

Ah, and this seems to have fallen a bit by the wayside among all this - congratulations on your completion of Johto's little challenge, Commander.

Exactly!

And thank you, but it was really nothing. It was easy. These leaders were hardly even a challenge!

[Except for a close battle against Whitney a year ago. And a really long battle against Jasmine because type-advantages are not something Cobra Commander always plans for.]

Oh, I don't doubt that - I was still attempting to get my first set of six to the maximum limit, level-wise, when I was completing the circuit and I didn't find it too difficult. I can just imagine how easy it would have been for one that's been here for as long as you have.

[That's actually not a jab or anything, just a statement.

...how...does he do small talk...]

[Not to worry, Cobra doesn't see it as a jab.]

That's exactly right! It ssseems like they have no idea how to deal with sssomeone who's been here long enough to max out their Pokemon!

[Or at least some of them.]

They're complete pushovers if your Pokemon are strong enough!

Well, you have to admit that having the entirety of their teams based on one type doesn't exactly help them any.

[He doesn't exactly have a lot of experience with that, but he trains a large amount of Ground-types; that alone is kind of a mess. He can't imagine specializing to that extent.]

Speaking of strength and training, however - how is that tremendous steelsnake working out for you?

That's true! It doesn't!

[Says the guy who's entire team was weak against Psychic-types for months after arriving in Johto.]

The Ssssteelix has been performing admirably so far. It's the weakest member of my team at the moment, but with enough time and effort, that will certainly change.

[...oh, Cobra.]

Excellent. I've found that they train rather well, but that's just my personal experience; do let me know if you encounter any problems.

Of course. If I have any problems raising Vilevole, you'll be the first to know.

[And those complaints will probably be very loud and full of angry hissing.]

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