61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]



[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.


Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Comments

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

Yeah, exactly! I'm really not worth the effort.

[Text]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

There is nothing purple or weird on my window! The only thing on that window is the glass it's made out of!

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That's right! You're not!

[Unless Cobra decides that Ryner is in fact worth the effort to confront. Which could happen. He's fickle about these things.]

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

What do you know, something we can agree on.

[video]

[princelyspirit]

Are you really-

[Are you really that oblivious? Looks at him in disbelief]

Just take a look around you - trust me, there's bigger problems around here than some sneaky chair thief!

[licentious]

[ INANE KEYSMASHING GOES HERE.

The hell?! Lust just glares as Sneasel lets go of Shuppet. He rubs his head in pain as he looks at the pokéball. She grits her teeth. ] I'm glad my pokémon hasn't suddenly become yours, Commander . [ The left side of her face briefly twitches in ire before getting a good idea. ] Clovis, chase it around with the pokéball.

[ Hey, Cobra. Have Shuppet run in circles around your desk as Sneasel chases after it, waving the pokéball maniacally. ]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

For now! It's ssssomething we can agree on for now! And don't you ever forget that!

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Look around me? What? You mean the ghost swarms? I don't care about those! Let them bother people in the other cities! I don't care!

[Yes, he is that oblivious. And he has no idea there's one right outside.]

[video]

[princelyspirit]

[Of all the stubborn... she's tempted to just let him deal with it himself! It would serve him right for all the trouble he's put people and pokemon through]

What, you think your town's immune? Just put down the Gear and take a look around you! Or do you think that they're just going to steer clear great and powerful...

[what was his name again?]

...whoever you are.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

So am I! I already have a Sssssneasel egg, so I don’t need another one!

[That probably wasn’t the most tactful reply, but Cobra Commander doesn’t care about tact. He’s too busy yelling about the absolute nonsense going on in his office at the moment. This was like some absurd comedy sketch gone horribly wrong. At least it wasn’t being broadcast to the world. The last thing he needed was to be embarrassed again.]

Catch that thing! Catch it right now! You better catch it if you know what’s good for you! Solarissss! Order your Pokemon to catch that ghost! Right now!

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

[Still. Not really getting it. But if Cobra has a . . . somewhat not really figured out plan, who is Rin to stop him?]

What, you're gonna lock up the Fox?

Forgot Munchlax went to another trainer oops.

[licentious]

They are quite wonderful. I'll give you pointers on how to properly raise it with its natural temperament. [ That wasn't the most tactful response to a tactless response, but it'll do. ]

Clovis, Agilität! Follow it up with Verhöhner! [ Very impressive German. Sneasel quickly accelerates on the heels of the Shuppet, before taunting it to turn around. ] Prügler! [ The rest of Lust's party come up. A shiny Beartic reaches its claws back in wrath, as a Lickilicky slinks over and licks its lips face in anticipation. An Absol comes out and yawns before setting its eyes on the Shuppet. A shiny Jynx comes out. It dances around and twirls before preparing itself in a position ready for combat. Finally, a Jumpluff floats around the room, happily chirping its name. Yeah. It's totally out of place amongst the rest of the party.

Lust takes a spare pokéball in her hands and grips it. She tosses a remaining five at the rest of her party. Beartic grips onto it with its paw, Lickilicky holds it with its tongue, which quickly slobbers all over it, Absol bites on it, Jynx grips it, and Jumpluff... well, Jumpluff tried. But it doesn't have any appendages. It just falls on the floor, where it's likely to create a banana peel-esque incident, after it struggles to hold the ball a bit.

She looks up with a determined glance.

Commander Cobra, a full out battle royale is about to break out in your beloved office. ]

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

Right, right.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[He was about to look. Really, he was.

But then...]

Whoever you are? Have you been living under a rock or ssssomething? I am Cobra Commander! Everyone should know my name by now! In fact, there's no excuse for not knowing it!

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course! But imprisonment is only the sssstart!

[Well, actually from what he's worked out, the first thing is going to be ranting at them, then imprisonment, and then a bunch of vague things under a group heading of "Make El Zorua miserable for the rest of their life."]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Cobra Commander stares at the bizarre scene for a moment before backpedaling towards the wall. It wouldn’t quite be taking cover like his instincts told him to do so, but it would hopefully keep him out of the way of what most likely was an imminent disaster. Six Pokémon, most of them looking suited for melee combat, versus a Shuppet, with his office as a battleground.]

Solarisss, are you sure about thisss?

[He wants that Shuppet, but he’d also like for there to still be a building afterwards. Because he is not up for the damages coming out of his Rocket allowance.]

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

[Beautiful.]

I don't think you can keep him imprisoned for long. Since he's a Fox and all. [NOW HE'S A LITTLE MORE CURIOUS.]

...So, if I did help you out, all I'd have to do is find some Spanish guy? [Because, yes, Cobra did something horrible that time but. Uhm. He failed on the follow-up. Noooot too sure how bad he can be. . . . NOT THAT HE WANTS TO HELP.]

[video]

[princelyspirit]

Since I've been here, all I've seen you do is poison a bunch of slowpokes and rant about your stupid chair. Sorry, but that's not exactly what I call impressive.

[Well, he did clear the gyms, which is sort of impressive! But the mun Utena missed that post]

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Well, I don't care what you think!

[Oh wait.

They're asking about helping. Maybe he shouldn't be a jerk.]

Yesss, that's all you would need to do. Find El Zorua and bring him to me, then one million dollars will be yours.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Then perhaps you should ask about the things that you haven't ssseen! Then you'll know why everyone should know my name!

And my chair isn't ssstupid!

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

[HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO HANG UP BECAUSE OF THAT COMMENT.

Lucky he stayed on, Cobra. So lucky.]

I don't want a million dollars. I have a job. ...I just wanna meet the guy before you put him in time-out or whatever.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Sssso you don't want to capture him for me?

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

Why should I? He didn't blow up a gym.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

That we know of.

[Cobra's pretty sure El Zorua hasn't, but he's not one to let the truth get in the way of things.]

After all, thisss man is rather sneaky. Who knows what else he could have done?

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

So you say.

[He'd rebut that further, but... it could be true.

Maybe this Zorua was a villain worse than Cobra? There was only one evil deed other than the gym attack that he knew of that could be worse... And he can't remember if that guy ever got caught. GASP.]

Like he could have blown up the Light House?