Cobra Commander (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) wrote2013-09-17 04:57 pm
cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) wrote2013-09-17 04:57 pm
76 | Video
[Cobra's not in that weird office room he tends to use for broadcasts today. No, today he seems to be recording from what looks like a house. And the focus isn't on himself, but instead what appears to be an assorted pile of junk. There's a backpack that has definitely seen better days, a sleeping bag, and oddly enough, six jars of Combee honey.]
If this was meant to be a gift or sssssome sort of appeasement, then I suggest that next time you try offering ssssomething I would actually want! Not thisss...thisss garbage!
But this is hardly the reason for me addressing you today, no, I have ssssomething far more important to discuss!
[And now the camera's back to him.]
No, I would like to discuss....Pokemon eggs! Or more sssspecifically the sale of them! Do you people ever think about who you're selling them to? Or what they're going to be used for? After all, these things are basically weapons, and you have no restrictions on them, no checks to ensue that the buyer is ssssomeone who can be trusted with such a thing, or even that they are who they ssssay they are!
Case in point, I've purchased a number of eggs from the lot of you, ssssome under fake identities, and some without any ssssort of false pretense whatsoever, and allow me to show you what your oh ssso generous unregulated Pokemon egg industry has given me!
[There's a Pokeball being held up to the camera now.]
Inside this ball is ssssomething that would be very difficult to obtain on my own. A rather destructive Pokemon, with a moveset the likes of which would take ages to acquire through regular channels! And while I was tempted to show it off at the time of purchase, I chose instead to wait, and reveal it in all of its fully evolved destructive glory!
[There's some fumbling with the camera as Cobra brings the Pokemon out and once the camera focuses, that's definitely a Tyranitar in Cobra's house. A Tyranitar that's roaring. And throwing his arms around. And those arms just took out part of Cobra's wall.]
No you idiot! Ssssstop doing that! Sssstop it! You'll bring the whole place down!
[And the feed cuts there while Cobra tries to keep Tyranitar from wrecking what's left of his house.]
If this was meant to be a gift or sssssome sort of appeasement, then I suggest that next time you try offering ssssomething I would actually want! Not thisss...thisss garbage!
But this is hardly the reason for me addressing you today, no, I have ssssomething far more important to discuss!
[And now the camera's back to him.]
No, I would like to discuss....Pokemon eggs! Or more sssspecifically the sale of them! Do you people ever think about who you're selling them to? Or what they're going to be used for? After all, these things are basically weapons, and you have no restrictions on them, no checks to ensue that the buyer is ssssomeone who can be trusted with such a thing, or even that they are who they ssssay they are!
Case in point, I've purchased a number of eggs from the lot of you, ssssome under fake identities, and some without any ssssort of false pretense whatsoever, and allow me to show you what your oh ssso generous unregulated Pokemon egg industry has given me!
[There's a Pokeball being held up to the camera now.]
Inside this ball is ssssomething that would be very difficult to obtain on my own. A rather destructive Pokemon, with a moveset the likes of which would take ages to acquire through regular channels! And while I was tempted to show it off at the time of purchase, I chose instead to wait, and reveal it in all of its fully evolved destructive glory!
[There's some fumbling with the camera as Cobra brings the Pokemon out and once the camera focuses, that's definitely a Tyranitar in Cobra's house. A Tyranitar that's roaring. And throwing his arms around. And those arms just took out part of Cobra's wall.]
No you idiot! Ssssstop doing that! Sssstop it! You'll bring the whole place down!
[And the feed cuts there while Cobra tries to keep Tyranitar from wrecking what's left of his house.]
[Video]
[At least someone appreciates your post, Cobra, although it's likely not for the reason you hoped.]
[Video]
[Let's just ignore that Cobra thought basically everything that just happened was an equally good idea.]
[Video]
[So he was planning on a dinosaur-shaped window in that exact spot?]
[Video]
[No, he's probably going to patch that up at some point. Maybe make his Ditto turn into the rest of the wall until he gets around to it. Or something.]
[Video]
[That is a brilliant plan.]
[Video]
[Video]
[Which reminds him, he needs to get his hands on a tent at some point instead of sleeping under trees.]
[Video]
[He's had enough of tents and making camp for one lifetime.]
[Video]
[Video]
[Or at least having the comforts of home while he's in the wilderness. Camping is for Cobra and Rocket Grunts. Not Commanders.]
[Video]
[Video]
[This is sort of a random divergence from his destroyed wall, but Cobra sees something he can spin, so he's going for it.]
Wouldn't it be wonderful if sssssomeone dealt with all of them?
[Video]
Yes. That's what we Gruul do in my world; we smash the stuff that civilization makes and return it to nature. Anyone who tries to stop us gets smashed too!
Are there people in this world that do that too? Everyone I've talked to here seems to like having civilization around.
[Video]
[How does he put this?
...certain people who have a vested interest in changing the way civilization works. Not necessarily destroying it, but fixing it, removing those people you mentioned before.
[Video]
[Video]
Okay fine. Where do you sssstart then? You can't just run in and attack everything. That would be sssstupid.
[Says the guy who does that all the time.]
[Video]
[Domri is a member of the Gruul Clans. Their Plan A is "Smash it until it's not moving and/or dust." There is no Plan B. Brains are for those annoying weaklings who don't come at you with an axe but beat you through some convoluted plans and trickery.]
[Video]
[Which he doesn't see happening.]
Though if you could, then yesss, that plan would definitely work.
[Video]
[He's just not thinking big enough then.]
[Video]