cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 76

[Cobra's not in that weird office room he tends to use for broadcasts today. No, today he seems to be recording from what looks like a house. And the focus isn't on himself, but instead what appears to be an assorted pile of junk. There's a backpack that has definitely seen better days, a sleeping bag, and oddly enough, six jars of Combee honey.]

If this was meant to be a gift or sssssome sort of appeasement, then I suggest that next time you try offering ssssomething I would actually want! Not thisss...thisss garbage!

But this is hardly the reason for me addressing you today, no, I have ssssomething far more important to discuss!

[And now the camera's back to him.]

No, I would like to discuss....Pokemon eggs! Or more sssspecifically the sale of them! Do you people ever think about who you're selling them to? Or what they're going to be used for? After all, these things are basically weapons, and you have no restrictions on them, no checks to ensue that the buyer is ssssomeone who can be trusted with such a thing, or even that they are who they ssssay they are!

Case in point, I've purchased a number of eggs from the lot of you, ssssome under fake identities, and some without any ssssort of false pretense whatsoever, and allow me to show you what your oh ssso generous unregulated Pokemon egg industry has given me!

[There's a Pokeball being held up to the camera now.]

Inside this ball is ssssomething that would be very difficult to obtain on my own. A rather destructive Pokemon, with a moveset the likes of which would take ages to acquire through regular channels! And while I was tempted to show it off at the time of purchase, I chose instead to wait, and reveal it in all of its fully evolved destructive glory!

[There's some fumbling with the camera as Cobra brings the Pokemon out and once the camera focuses, that's definitely a Tyranitar in Cobra's house. A Tyranitar that's roaring. And throwing his arms around. And those arms just took out part of Cobra's wall.]

No you idiot! Ssssstop doing that! Sssstop it! You'll bring the whole place down!

[And the feed cuts there while Cobra tries to keep Tyranitar from wrecking what's left of his house.]

Threaded | Flat

[...Wow.

That was actually pretty fantastic, though not exactly in a flattering way. Or a good way, period. Or...anything but a horrendously condescending way, actually...

Wow.]

Well, if they weren't running checks on whomever they were selling those things to before, they probably will be now.

[The "thanks a lot for that" is strong with this one today.]

The most we can really hope for now is that they'll find that display so inelegant they won't bother.

Edited (grammar why) 2013-09-18 02:32 (UTC)

[Siiiigh... Cobra, why do you do these things?]

Hopefully they won't take that as an invitation to start doing background checks.

[Not that he has anything to worry about! None of his attacks can be traced back to him!]

Regardless, I should hopefully have a batch of eggs to sell to Team Rocket in the near future.

What kind of animal is that!? What does it evolve from!? Where can I get one!?

[At least someone appreciates your post, Cobra, although it's likely not for the reason you hoped.]

...See, this is why I only sell eggs to people the parents approve of.

You are right. What was I thinking by allowing just anyone to have eggs freely?

[ Probably not a wise idea to rub this one in Saber's face. ] I shall save the more troubling species for you.

[Oh hey, now he isn't the only one in the team who has unleashed something violent in a small space! Clearly we are bros now, Cobra.]

Your best bet is to knock it unconscious, sir.

[he's feeling really helpful today, is it obvious]

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