cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]

[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.

Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't care what element he's against! He sssstole from me, and now that I know who he is, he is going to pay for it! He will pay dearly!

But you're like a snake guy. [HE'S REALLY NOT SURE] Even if you find this Fox, won't he just steal something else from you?

well man, it's your life and you do whatever you want with it.

but when that purple rain from outside comes out to get you, don't say i didn't try to warn you on your impending doom.
if those things are even harmful that is.
i mean they could very well just be trying to freak you out.

Chairs are pretty easily replaceable, though. I mean, I guess I get that it's a blow to your ego and everything, but...

Your chair was stole again. [He really didn't get the obsession with the damn chair.]

Good luck with that. [Cobra's reaction to finding out he's been chasing a dead man will be priceless.]

And newsflash: I've never met you before. Yer mixin' me up with some other fucker.

No, he won't! If I find him, he won't be ssstealing anything from me again! Or from anyone else! Ever!

[Because he's going to imprison them...or something. He really hasn't figured out what to do about that yet.]

Rain is not purple!

[Unless it has something to do with a certain eighties movie and/or album.]

And how would rain be trying to get me! It's made of water! It can't think! That's ridiculousssss!

[He's pretty close to turning around and looking though.]

This one is not easily replaceable! In fact, it's irreplaceable, and had I not recovered it, I would have to commission a new one to be built from sssscratch!

Custom-made?

No, it was not ssstolen again! I've finally discovered the identity of the thief!

You know if you just didn't focus so much on that chair's importance to you. No one would want to steal it.

If you're supposedly paying so much for a chair thief, that will make the chair seem even more valuable.

[For once, Gorthan is fully serious and not trying to mock or ridicule Cobra anyway! This is a good day.]

A larger force... a mercenary army, perhaps? In that case, something should be done about it indeed.

Stolen right out from under you, was it?

[This makes up a bit for the fact that Cobra saw him get beaned in the face with a pidgey.]

What are you talking about? Did you hit your head or sssssomething? If so, it's a shame I wasn't the one to inflict said injury upon your person!

Ain't hit my head on anythin' lately. I'd remember meetin' a fucker like you. Ain't every day you meet a masssssked fucker givin' away cash for sssssomethin' imposssssible.

[ So many different points to tackle! At a loss of where to begin, Lust will just tackle them in order... ]

A tournament? I don't see what's so wrong about that. It provides perfect scouting opportunities. [ Know what strategies your opponents use before you face them! AND KNOWING IS 3/4 OF THE BATTLE.... ] As for the training camp, considering how he's one of the first gym leaders you beat in Kanto, I don't think what he has to offer is going to be too substantial. [ low faith in military men tbh. ]

[ Now how to approach this.... certainly fictitious sounding thief. Male? Spanish? A history buff? Do people like that even exist in Johto? She's sure she's never heard an accent that unfamiliar. Whatever. She'll do her own investigation but for now, to appease him. ]

I'm on it, sir. You can keep any funds if I capture him. However, I am not sure what a Spanish accent is. Might I inquire for a demon-[ That word was certainly demonstration, but, something else has caught Lust's attention. The Shuppet blowing in and out of the window has certainly caught her mind. ]

[ She doesn't get too many opportunities to be sadistic, nor any opportunities to demonstrate her superiority complex. She cocks her head to the side as Sneasel catches onto her observation. ]

Ah, it appears we have company. Go investigate it, would you? [ Her Sneasel nods, obeying her orders. It jumps onto the ceiling and uses its claws to cling and walk on the ceiling. It doesn't leave any noticeable punctures, if Cobra is too concerned with the ceiling. ]

Edited 2012-10-29 22:45 (UTC)

Yesss! And not of thissss world!

It's not about the chair! It's about sssssomeone having the audacity to strike against me, and them getting their deserved punishment for it! Which is a topic that you should know about first hand!

[He did pay Vanitas to get revenge on him for that, and as far as Cobra knows it happened.]

[Hello Gorthan. Cobra's actually willing to set aside the recent unpleasantness for this since this is a much more important matter.]

We would be lucky if it were only a mercenary force. Then we could pay them to work for us. What I fear is that this is recruitment for a foreign entity, ssssimilar to the state sponsored training some countries provide in my world...or an attempt to provide an formal armed resistance against our organization.

It was ssstolen months ago, and the thief's identity remained a myssstery! Until now! Now they will pay for their mistake!

That was a punishment? That was one of the best times I had in months.

[It happened but Killua wasn't upset about it. He gave as good as he got and had loads of fun. Cobra probably should remember how twisted this kid is. ]

You might want to rethink your strategy if that's what you planing to do.

You dare mock me?

[He was going to comment on how strange Apollo is acting, but that's more important to Cobra.]

You dare mock Cobra Commander?

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