61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]



[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.


Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Comments

3/3

[licentious]

[ She doesn't get too many opportunities to be sadistic, nor any opportunities to demonstrate her superiority complex. She cocks her head to the side as Sneasel catches onto her observation. ]

Ah, it appears we have company. Go investigate it, would you? [ Her Sneasel nods, obeying her orders. It jumps onto the ceiling and uses its claws to cling and walk on the ceiling. It doesn't leave any noticeable punctures, if Cobra is too concerned with the ceiling. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I'm not concerned about his Pokemon training, I'm concerned about military training. The last thing we need is an actual trained fighting force opposing us.

[Been there, done that, lost every single time.]

As to the accent, I would be happy to-

[Wait, what's going on now? Are they under attack or something?]

Company? What sort of company?

Sorry for the lateness. The giants winning the world series has made my schedule hectic!

[licentious]

And just what do you think that will accomplish? The last I checked, a military force can't do much if there's a blizzard or thunderstorm hitting them all. [ It's easy to incapacitate soldiers with pokemon. If you want a demonstration, Lust will be happy to comply! ]

[ The Sneasel continues to crawl on the ceiling. ] Verhöhner. [ Lust's silky voice is immediately well received by Sneasel who flips off something with its middle claw before leaping seamlessly back onto the desk. ] Sneasel! [ A shuppet quickly follows its way in, chanting its name.

Get out of the way, Cobra. A battle is about to begin! ]

It's okay! Don't worry about!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What?

[Cobra's scrambling around to the front of his desk now. The last thing he expected was for a Pokemon battle to break out in the office.]

How did that thing get in here? When did it get in here?

[licentious]

It was lingering in the background, sir. I'm not sure if it's wild or if it's a spy. I taunted it to coax it into battle. I suggest checking this mysterious entity with your pokédex.

Now! Quick! Finte! [ Sneasel walks towards Shuppet with big, doe eyes. The Shuppet looks briefly, clearly mesmerized. Then Sneasel proceeds to deck Shuppet, causing it to twirl about in pain. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Good idea!

[He’ll check that out while Sneasel battles it. Shuppet, Ghost-Type, blah blah blah, stats Cobra doesn’t care about, wait.

That’s interesting.]

Solarissss! Don’t let your creature knock it out! I want to capture this one! The Pokedex says that it feeds off of negative emotions. Imagine how powerful ssssuch a creature would be in my hands!

[licentious]

Ah, but sir, you're still able to capture a pokemon after it's knocked out. I've done it before. Don't worry though, I have just the idea for this.

[ The Shuppet uses spite. It screeches with an ear-wrecking high octave. ] Sneasel! Beat up! [ Sneasel flashes his way to it before smashing it in the face and grabbing its body to toss down on the ground. ]

If you wished to toss a ball at it, now would be the right time. [ However, Sneasel is grappling it in a way where if one's aim isn't exceptional, it'll hit him and not Shuppet instead. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[With a cackle, Cobra tosses a Pokeball, and...

...somehow manages to bonk Sneasel on the head with it.]

What? Get out of the way!

[licentious]

[ INANE KEYSMASHING GOES HERE.

The hell?! Lust just glares as Sneasel lets go of Shuppet. He rubs his head in pain as he looks at the pokéball. She grits her teeth. ] I'm glad my pokémon hasn't suddenly become yours, Commander . [ The left side of her face briefly twitches in ire before getting a good idea. ] Clovis, chase it around with the pokéball.

[ Hey, Cobra. Have Shuppet run in circles around your desk as Sneasel chases after it, waving the pokéball maniacally. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

So am I! I already have a Sssssneasel egg, so I don’t need another one!

[That probably wasn’t the most tactful reply, but Cobra Commander doesn’t care about tact. He’s too busy yelling about the absolute nonsense going on in his office at the moment. This was like some absurd comedy sketch gone horribly wrong. At least it wasn’t being broadcast to the world. The last thing he needed was to be embarrassed again.]

Catch that thing! Catch it right now! You better catch it if you know what’s good for you! Solarissss! Order your Pokemon to catch that ghost! Right now!

Forgot Munchlax went to another trainer oops.

[licentious]

They are quite wonderful. I'll give you pointers on how to properly raise it with its natural temperament. [ That wasn't the most tactful response to a tactless response, but it'll do. ]

Clovis, Agilität! Follow it up with Verhöhner! [ Very impressive German. Sneasel quickly accelerates on the heels of the Shuppet, before taunting it to turn around. ] Prügler! [ The rest of Lust's party come up. A shiny Beartic reaches its claws back in wrath, as a Lickilicky slinks over and licks its lips face in anticipation. An Absol comes out and yawns before setting its eyes on the Shuppet. A shiny Jynx comes out. It dances around and twirls before preparing itself in a position ready for combat. Finally, a Jumpluff floats around the room, happily chirping its name. Yeah. It's totally out of place amongst the rest of the party.

Lust takes a spare pokéball in her hands and grips it. She tosses a remaining five at the rest of her party. Beartic grips onto it with its paw, Lickilicky holds it with its tongue, which quickly slobbers all over it, Absol bites on it, Jynx grips it, and Jumpluff... well, Jumpluff tried. But it doesn't have any appendages. It just falls on the floor, where it's likely to create a banana peel-esque incident, after it struggles to hold the ball a bit.

She looks up with a determined glance.

Commander Cobra, a full out battle royale is about to break out in your beloved office. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Cobra Commander stares at the bizarre scene for a moment before backpedaling towards the wall. It wouldn’t quite be taking cover like his instincts told him to do so, but it would hopefully keep him out of the way of what most likely was an imminent disaster. Six Pokémon, most of them looking suited for melee combat, versus a Shuppet, with his office as a battleground.]

Solarisss, are you sure about thisss?

[He wants that Shuppet, but he’d also like for there to still be a building afterwards. Because he is not up for the damages coming out of his Rocket allowance.]

[licentious]

I am, I am, Commander. I know this will end very swiftly. Go! Team! [ Solaris will start running behind them all as one by one they all jump off. Shuppet quickly turns to high-tail it out of there. However, Sneasel blocks his path and gets ready to knock it out once and for all. Absol leaps across the room, preparing a flamethrower. Shuppet, however, phases right through Sneasel leaving him speechless. Absol tries to halt the flames but it's too late, he ends up scorching the poor Sneasel, knocking him out. Lust continues to chase after the Shuppet as it phases through the wall. The rest of her pokémon follow. Jumpluff, for all her uselessness, seems to take the lead. She's followed by an extremely cautious Absol, and a Beartic who just ducks under the door frame and continues walking. It Gets Worse, though. Licklicky, seemingly out of fucks to give, just walks right through the door frame, taking out part of it. Jynx then follows suit, salsaing out of the door. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Cobra has seen his share of nonsensical moments before. But this. This was something else, and enough to render him speechless. First the comedy of errors that was Solaris’s Pokemon trying to capture the Sneasel and then that absurd procession out of his office after it.

Honestly? He’d never seen anything quite like that.]

That door! Ssssomeone is going to pay for that! And that someone isn’t me!

[Cobra gives chase for two reasons. One, he still wants that Pokémon. And two, he wants to see how on earth this ends.]

[licentious]

Noted. Please, select your two most disobedient subordinates. [ Lust continues to chase after the Shuppet as her other pokemon prepare a volley of attacks regarding it. A light blue light starts to glow in Jynx's eyes as Shuppet is suddenly matching ethereal glow. She twirls him around, in an attempt to dizzy him, only for him to break free. He continues to float down the hall as he fires off will-o-wisps. The blue fireballs are licked up and drowned out by Lickilicky, whose saliva seems to collect and dampen the walls. Eventually, they're at a crossroads. There's tons and tons of doors that line the hallway, and Shuppet just opens one on the right side before coming out right in front of Lust on the left side. After, it crosses the hall before phasing through a door on the right. ]

Commander, if you can, please, stay here and tell me what door he's going into. My pokemon and I are going in as many as we can so we can catch him! [ Lust immediately dives into the door that Shuppet just entered. Jynx discos behind Lust. Absol, being ridden by an oversized Beartic, skitters into an entirely different door. Lickilicky just continues to lick a door, hoping it'll open as Jumpluff is moved by gusts of opening and closing doors.

The pinnacle of competence, Commander Cobra. At some point, the door Lickilicky is licking is opened. He goes in there as Shuppet goes out. Jumpluff then joins the chase, following him and, somehow, being able to make it through a door in her continued pursuit. ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[The scenario looks somewhat familiar, but Cobra just can’t put his finger on it. He’s seen this before somewhere, but where? Oh well, he’ll try and solve that mystery later. First priority is catching that stupid ghost.]

That door! It went in that one! The one across from the door your creature was licking! Which is absolutely disgusting!

[He’s not cleaning that up either. Gross.]