cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]

[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.

Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh. [Now he totally -- no he doesn't get it.]

You sure you should even try to punish a guy called, "The Fox"? Isn't that against your element? [or natural enemies, WHICHEVER.]

I don't care what element he's against! He sssstole from me, and now that I know who he is, he is going to pay for it! He will pay dearly!

But you're like a snake guy. [HE'S REALLY NOT SURE] Even if you find this Fox, won't he just steal something else from you?

No, he won't! If I find him, he won't be ssstealing anything from me again! Or from anyone else! Ever!

[Because he's going to imprison them...or something. He really hasn't figured out what to do about that yet.]

[Still. Not really getting it. But if Cobra has a . . . somewhat ~~not really~~ figured out plan, who is Rin to stop him?]

What, you're gonna lock up the Fox?

Of course! But imprisonment is only the sssstart!

[Well, actually from what he's worked out, the first thing is going to be ranting at them, then imprisonment, and then a bunch of vague things under a group heading of "Make El Zorua miserable for the rest of their life."]

[Beautiful.]

I don't think you can keep him imprisoned for long. Since he's a Fox and all. [NOW HE'S A LITTLE MORE CURIOUS.]

...So, if I did help you out, all I'd have to do is find some Spanish guy? [Because, yes, Cobra did something horrible that time but. Uhm. He failed on the follow-up. Noooot too sure how bad he can be. . . . NOT THAT HE WANTS TO HELP.]

Well, I don't care what you think!

[Oh wait.

They're asking about helping. Maybe he shouldn't be a jerk.]

Yesss, that's all you would need to do. Find El Zorua and bring him to me, then one million dollars will be yours.

[HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO HANG UP BECAUSE OF THAT COMMENT.

Lucky he stayed on, Cobra. So lucky.]

I don't want a million dollars. I have a job. ...I just wanna meet the guy before you put him in time-out or whatever.

Sssso you don't want to capture him for me?

Why should I? He didn't blow up a gym.

That we know of.

[Cobra's pretty sure El Zorua hasn't, but he's not one to let the truth get in the way of things.]

After all, thisss man is rather sneaky. Who knows what else he could have done?

So you say.

[He'd rebut that further, but... it could be true.

Maybe this Zorua was a villain worse than Cobra? There was only one evil deed other than the gym attack that he knew of that could be worse... And he can't remember if that guy ever got caught. GASP.]

Like he could have blown up the Light House?

[No.

That wasn't El Zorua. That was Kato.

And Cobra's about to say as much when he realizes he can take advantage of that question.]

I suppose he could have.

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