cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]

[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.

Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, it's a post from Cobra. After certain events that he is not going to speak of that occurred over the last couple days, Ryner could use the entertainment... wait.]

...It was a chair.

[Yes, he's late to that party.]

It wasn't a chair. It was my chair!

[And that makes all the difference.]

You've made such a big deal, over a chair.

Over my chair! You ssseem to be missing that point!

Because the fact that it's yours makes it obviously that much more important.

[He cares. So much.]

It does! That's exactly why it's more important! Because it's mine!

Haaaaaaaaa, of course you'd think something like that.

[To tell you that he's never heard that name before and that there are Yamasks going around doing stuff and so any 'new information' from the last couple of days could have just as easily been one of them messing around, or to not tell you about the Yamasks and let you figure that part out on your own eventually maybe...

Eh, more entertaining to watch you fail, safer for the other guy if you're on a wild goose chase, and telling you would require explaining where that knowledge comes from, which he would really rather not. So he might as well not bother.]

That's right! I would think ssssomething like that!

Chairs are pretty easily replaceable, though. I mean, I guess I get that it's a blow to your ego and everything, but...

This one is not easily replaceable! In fact, it's irreplaceable, and had I not recovered it, I would have to commission a new one to be built from sssscratch!

Custom-made?

Yesss! And not of thissss world!

From where you come from, then? I guess that would make it harder to replace...

Yessss! From where I come from! Whatever was responsible for those Christmas gifts last year was nice enough to ssssend it to me!

Oh, that chair.

...How'd they even steal it in the first place? I still say it looks really heavy.

Presumably they used a Pokemon to do the heavy lifting. And then another Pokemon to do the hiding.

[Just a guess on his part.]

They'd still have had to be pretty good at sneaking around, in order to get away with it like they did.

The only thing they are good at is infuriating me! But I am going to put an end to that very ssssoon!

Uh huh. Well, if your big plan is yelling at them aimlessly, you're probably on the right track, at least.

Shut your mouth! I have a plan, and it's a very good plan! But it won't be shared until it's time to put it into action!

Good for you.

That's right! It is good for me! But I'll tell you who it's not good for.

[He'd let Ryner guess, but that would require shutting up for a second.]

El Zorua! That's who!

Whoever the hell that is.

They're the person that sssstole from me! Pay attention!

Ahh, aside from that. I'd never heard of this El Zorua guy before.

[Video]

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