83 | Audio/Private Audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Today was supposed to be the big day for Cobra. The day when everything went right. Certainly not the day where it rained on the morning on his attack, making it a pain to record video or take photos. And certainly not the day where his metal bird got shot out of the sky by Raichu. He was actually glad there wasn't any footage of that.

Really, it'd been a mixed bag at best. He'd done some damage, but retreat and recovery had been a complete disaster. Hopefully, the others did better.]

This morning the Vermilion City Gym was the target of a carefully planned aerial attack by Cobra forces. Let this be a reminder to you all that I can sssstrike anywhere at anytime. Anywhere! Without warning if I sssso choose!

[And not that he really feels like it, but there's some villainous laughter at the end of the public feed. Now to check in with the others.]

[Private Audio to Attack Volunteers]

By now your attacks should be underway, if not already finished. So I demand to know the results of them. Report in as ssssoon as you hear thissss message! And you better have succeeded!

Comments

text;

[doitrockapella]

...You launched an aerial attack while it's storming out?

[LOOK, SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yessss! Yesss, I did!

[At least he admits it.]

In fact, it's an excellent choice so long as the pilot is sssskilled enough! The target would never sssee it coming!

[He may have just made that up. Like right this second. But that's clearly what happened here. He definitely didn't commit to an attack date and decide to do it anyway instead of postponing due to inclement weather.]

[doitrockapella]

[...Well, you have to give the man credit for determination, if nothing else. And in fairness, it usually is "nothing else", so.]

I'd worry more about you being able to see the target, given the inclement weather.

[Though all of a sudden she's kind of really glad her travel plans were delayed, because she'd definitely planned on being in Vermilion by now, and at the gym besides, so...]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

There's no need to worry! I sssaw just fine!

[Yeah, he got a great view of Thunderbolt heading right towards Skarmory.]

But I would think most people would hope I couldn't ssssee it.

[doitrockapella]

...You missed it, didn't you.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What? No! I didn't misssss it! How dare you suggest something like that!

[doitrockapella]

Well, it's one explanation for why you aren't posting pictures of the wreckage for you to publicly gloat over.

audio reply

[konpeitoqueen]

[Saionji doesn't respond to strangers much.

Except for now. And of course, since it's a special exception, she's going to have a carefully thought-out, unique response-]

What. Who are you, crazy freak?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I would have if-

[He's not even sure what excuse to use here.

Oh wait, let's try this one.]

You try flying, coordinating an attack, and taking photos at the same time, all during a ssstorm and see how well the pictures come out!

audio reply

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Well that's a simple enough question to answer.]

I am Cobra Commander! Terrorist leader and future ruler of the world!

[doitrockapella]

You know, if it weren't for the part about the attack, I'd take that as a challenge.

So it didn't go well, then, did it.

[konpeitoqueen]

Oh! Cobra Commander!

[Her voice is perky and excited, before dropping to a monotone.] Never heard of you. What's this squawking about attacks? You do know your irritating voice can be heard by everyone, right? Doesn't that embarrass you?

[ audio ]

[imthe_shit]

... Huh. Haven't heard anything in the news about that... [ Not that he's actually turned on the radio or anything... That kind of "evil laugh" warrants some returned attitude. ]

[Locked: Text]

[strongestoftheturks]

Attack a success. No pursuit.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It went well enough!

[So no, it didn't go well.]

[doitrockapella]

I suppose I do have to give you credit for perseverance, if nothing else.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Sssquawking? Ssssquawking? I do not squawk! And no, telling people about my successesssss does not embarrass me, why would it?

[What is even going on here? He doesn't exactly get the best reactions here, but this is more or less, new.]

And if you've never heard of me, you have now! Sssso there!

[konpeitoqueen]

[Nah, totally squawking.] Jeez, why are you dragging you 's' so long? What is with people here and snakes?

Success, though... I like carnage, in a way. Show me some footage, then!

[There's a pleasant smile on her face.] It's a bit pathetic to have to tell people about yourself with your own mouth if you're supposedly so powerful.

[ audio ]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

How is it not on the news? If I attack somewhere, it should be the headline on every newssspaper in the country!

[Locked: Text]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I expected nothing less. Congratulations.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yessss! Yes, you do! I deserve credit for that! And for everything else!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I am not pathetic!

[Though most people might say otherwise.]

And if there was footage of the attack, I would have included it with my broadcast! And I was hissing like a ssssnake long before I ever came to thissss place!

[He's not sure why he feels the need to defend his speaking habits, but he may as well at this point.]

[konpeitoqueen]

You're failing to prove your competence to a little girl. I don't know about you, but that's PLENTY pathetic!

Plus, all this hissing isn't just annoying, it's pretentious and stupid! What are you, a twelve-year-old freaky manchild? Grow up already!

And- wait, there's something on the radio about Vermillion City Gym. Maybe you aren't that bad. [She takes the radio and puts it at the receiver, broadcasting a good portion of the news report to him, with added giggles at select parts.]

[ audio ]

[imthe_shit]

Hhmmm.... No idea.

Maybe you didn't try hard enough.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I am not a twelve year-

[Hang on. Let's listen to that.]

That report is completely inaccurate! Completely!