Cobra Commander

[Apparently Cobra Commander's going for theatrics with his broadcast today since he's sitting in the giant snake throne he got a couple years back. His faceplate's back on since whoever stole it decided to return it. Which is something he'll probably want to deal with later, but not today. No, today's video is going to be focusing on something much more important.]

In my world, there exissssts a form of military strategy known as mutually assured destruction, which operates under the assumption that if one side strikes the other, both will be wiped out. For the last few months, this has been the ssssituation with myself and with Team Rocket. But sssuch a strategy can only last for so long, so ssssooner or later we were bound to come to some sort of agreement.

[From the side of his chair, Cobra produces a bunch of papers, none of which are close enough to the camera to be readable, and admittedly don't say anything sensible at all really. Just pages and pages of random sentences, but from this distance, it should look official enough.]

I won't bore you all with the details, but in exchange for returning most of their property, I've been granted immunity from further reprisals. Notice I ssssaid most of their property. Contrary to what ssssome of you may think, I am not stupid enough to hand over my only bargaining chip and trussst the word of Team Rocket.

[Yeah, let's just...try and stop the questioning of Cobra's intelligence before it starts this time. Probably won't work, but he tried.]

And just as I am not ssstupid enough to completely trust them, they are not ssstupid enough to trust me. But being a man of my word, I encourage them to, if they feel I've tampered with their rockets in any way, to test them out as sssssoon as possible. And if they choose to test them out on the rest of you, then I can hardly be held responssssible for their choice of targets. Or if I choose to take advantage of the chaossss caused by said tests to further my own ends.

[And there's the end of the public feed, followed by an incredibly short Rocket broadcast a few moments later.]

[Video. Locked to Rockets.]
To those with their assignments, you may begin your final preparations.

{OOC: Still have two targets here if anyone's interested!}

[Well, here's Cobra Commander again, looking to be in a slightly better mood than he was when he accidentally outed himself as a Rocket. He's really not happy at all since somehow his faceplate disappeared over that weird missing stretch of time, and there was that weird tornado...

Oh well, he'll make due with his hood for now, and be thankful the tornado didn't wreck his plans.]

No doubt by now news of my...blown cover has become widespread. As well as a missing shipment of...ssssomething. For those of you who may have missed it, I'll explain. I was conveniently videotaped discussing a number of important things relating to a missing shipment of something belonging to Team Rocket. Which of course connects mysssself to that group, a connection I've tried my hardest to deny.

But it's one I sssee absolutely no reason to deny any longer. Yessss, I am, or was, a member of Team Rocket, and yesss, a shipment I was in charge of disappeared. It has ssssince been recovered.

[The feed goes black there, but it hasn't ended, Cobra's just turning off the camera for a moment. The audio's not much of note. Just the sound of footsteps and a door opening. When the feed turns back on, it's Cobra. In a basement. Still not much worth seeing.]

Recovered by me. And I won't be returning it. In fact, it was never lost at all! The entire thing, including the video was sssset up by me! Why you ask? Because quite honestly I am tired of serving in an organization that doesn't value my contributions and decided I would be better off going into business for myself on a more permanent basis. And to protect myself from any future reprisals, I took that shipment as an insurance package!

[And now he'll turn the camera to reveal um...well. It appears to be an open crate with several white missiles inside it. All of which are painted with a red R. Yeah. It took a while to get Ditto and Zorua to get them to look just right, but they really do look just like the real thing!]

I won't go into sssspecifics such as payload or guidance systems since I doubt any of that means much to most of you, but I will say that those are exactly what they look like. Prototype rockets for Team Rocket! That belong to me now!

[And he'll just end the feed there. Okay, there might actually be a few minutes of villainous laughter before it actually ends.]

{OOC: Explanation is here!