cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Entries tagged with he worked hard on this

[There's a bit of a change from his last few broadcasts since Cobra Commander's not out blowing stuff up again today. No, he's just sitting in one of those miscellaneous office rooms he tends to broadcast from when he's not out causing problems for everyone.

Of course that doesn't mean he's can't cause problems from here because well, that's his intention for today.]

For the past few months, I have been tesssting a project that I have sworn is unlike anything else that has been developed in thissss world before! And some of you have chosen to make a mockery of my geniusssss. Those of you who have done ssso have chosen poorly.

[Because today's finally the day he's going to attack right?]

Because two weeks from today, there will be no more demonstrations. Two weeks from today, I will use my invention to attack a target of my choosing! And you will all be completely incapable of doing anything about it!

[...oh, apparently he's going to drag this out a bit longer.]

In one week's time I will announce my demands and the target I have ssselected. Feel free to sssspend the next week or so dwelling on what they could be or the missssguided notion that you can sssstop me!

[And the feed ends after way too much evil laughter from Cobra.]

{OOC: Still taking signups for people to shoot him down if anyone's interested!}

[Cobra's off in what appears to be a wooded area today. There's a house off to the side which...doesn't really do much to identify where he is, but still, a house!]

Greetings citizens of Johto, Kanto. It's been ssssome time since I've had reason to addresssss you all like this.

[Technically, he just made a broadcast last month, but that's not really what he's talking about. ...but on a possibly related note, it has been a few months since he attacked that news station.

And he's still showing off that house in the background. Look, he rented it. He wants you all to see what he does with his money.]

Over the years certain individuals, myssself among them, have perpetrated various acts of violence and terrorism on thissss world, usually utilizing either Pokemon...or more conventional methods, ssssuch as that little war waged in Ecruteak the other day.

[Or maybe it wasn't so little, doesn't really matter. Cobra wants to talk about Cobra and his accomplishments today, not what that “Seth” guy is doing over in Ecruteak.]

Sssso I've decided that it's time to try something new. A blending of conventional weaponry and Pokemon as it were. A project I've dubbed Project M.E.T.A.L.!

[Magnetic Emission Tactical Assault Laser, if anyone's curious and doesn't feel like asking. A fancy name for...shooting things with Magnezones. Or what are going to one day be Magnezones.]

Of course, at this point, we all know that actions ssssspeak far louder than words, sssso I've arranged for a little demonstration.

[Okay, so now the house is going to come into play, since Cobra's focusing on it with the camera.]

Ready...aim...fire!

[And from off camera comes a beam of some sort that's uh...well, if anyone's seen Flash Cannon, sort of like that. Except it's a bit larger since it's about six of them aligned to fire together and impact the wall of that house.

...the house that he rented just to do this. Yup. This is what Cobra Commander does with his money.

With that demonstration done, he'll switch to audio until he gets over there, so enjoy the background music for the Mahogany area and the sound of Cobra walking for a moment.

Okay, it's live again and there's a lovely view of the wrecked wall as well as the interior of the room behind the wall which looks blasted all to hell. It could be worse, but suffice to say, he is not getting his deposit back. But enough about that, he's going to turn the camera to himself so he can address everyone personally.]

No doubt ssssome of you are unimpressed. But consider thisss a taste of things to come. The finished product will be much more devastating, and I guarantee it will be unlike anything this world has ever ssssseen!

[And he'll just cackle into the camera before ending the feed because that's his usual way of ending these things.]

{OOC: So, as you some of you might have noticed, Cobra's been mentioning that he's been working on something for the last few months. This is part of it! When it's all finished in a couple of months or so, there'll definitely be more information on it and the chance to foil his stupid evil, okay mostly stupid, plan. So this is basically phase one of a much larger stupid thing.

And this was mod approved by Sunny and Alex!}

Current Location: Mahogany Town

[Today was supposed to be the big day for Cobra. The day when everything went right. Certainly not the day where it rained on the morning on his attack, making it a pain to record video or take photos. And certainly not the day where his metal bird got shot out of the sky by Raichu. He was actually glad there wasn't any footage of that.

Really, it'd been a mixed bag at best. He'd done some damage, but retreat and recovery had been a complete disaster. Hopefully, the others did better.]

This morning the Vermilion City Gym was the target of a carefully planned aerial attack by Cobra forces. Let this be a reminder to you all that I can sssstrike anywhere at anytime. Anywhere! Without warning if I sssso choose!

[And not that he really feels like it, but there's some villainous laughter at the end of the public feed. Now to check in with the others.]

[Private Audio to Attack Volunteers]

By now your attacks should be underway, if not already finished. So I demand to know the results of them. Report in as ssssoon as you hear thissss message! And you better have succeeded!

[So Cobra Commander's on the Rocket frequency today. Which might seem strange given the whole not so accidental public outing followed by the publicly leaving Team Rocket. And after a brief moment of silence, Cobra's ready to start explaining things.]

No doubt ssssome of you are surprised to see me on thissss channel. I can hardly blame you given the last month or so. However, I ask that you please lisssten to what I have to say before calling this number or reporting it to our ssssuperiors. Yessss, our superiors. Contrary to what you may have seen me say, I've never left Team Rocket. Everything I've done has been part of a carefully created plan to benefit not just myssself but the organization as a whole.

[And yes, that's just the two videos, but hey, he put a lot of work into those.]

First, I appear to lose my standing in the organization. Then, I make it sssseem like I appropriated high tech weaponry the likes of which hasn't been sssseen in this world. Now for the next phase of my plan, I'll return sssaid weaponry to Team Rocket in exchange for immunity. Thussss, publicly seperating myself from Team Rocket and creating the notion that Team Rocket has access to weapons that no one else here does.

Which leads me to the ssssecond reason for thisss video. No one is going to believe these things work without a demonstration. And I happen to have a lissst of targets and a need for volunteers to ssstrike at said targets on a certain date. I will provide more detailssss once I know who is interested. Given the nature of my plans, information will unfortunately have to be compartmentalized and restricted for the time being.

{OOC: There are more details as well as OOC signups here!}

[Well, here's Cobra Commander again, looking to be in a slightly better mood than he was when he accidentally outed himself as a Rocket. He's really not happy at all since somehow his faceplate disappeared over that weird missing stretch of time, and there was that weird tornado...

Oh well, he'll make due with his hood for now, and be thankful the tornado didn't wreck his plans.]

No doubt by now news of my...blown cover has become widespread. As well as a missing shipment of...ssssomething. For those of you who may have missed it, I'll explain. I was conveniently videotaped discussing a number of important things relating to a missing shipment of something belonging to Team Rocket. Which of course connects mysssself to that group, a connection I've tried my hardest to deny.

But it's one I sssee absolutely no reason to deny any longer. Yessss, I am, or was, a member of Team Rocket, and yesss, a shipment I was in charge of disappeared. It has ssssince been recovered.

[The feed goes black there, but it hasn't ended, Cobra's just turning off the camera for a moment. The audio's not much of note. Just the sound of footsteps and a door opening. When the feed turns back on, it's Cobra. In a basement. Still not much worth seeing.]

Recovered by me. And I won't be returning it. In fact, it was never lost at all! The entire thing, including the video was sssset up by me! Why you ask? Because quite honestly I am tired of serving in an organization that doesn't value my contributions and decided I would be better off going into business for myself on a more permanent basis. And to protect myself from any future reprisals, I took that shipment as an insurance package!

[And now he'll turn the camera to reveal um...well. It appears to be an open crate with several white missiles inside it. All of which are painted with a red R. Yeah. It took a while to get Ditto and Zorua to get them to look just right, but they really do look just like the real thing!]

I won't go into sssspecifics such as payload or guidance systems since I doubt any of that means much to most of you, but I will say that those are exactly what they look like. Prototype rockets for Team Rocket! That belong to me now!

[And he'll just end the feed there. Okay, there might actually be a few minutes of villainous laughter before it actually ends.]

{OOC: Explanation is here!

[Video]

[Surprise! There's a snake themed person broadcasting on Cobra's Gear today. But it really doesn't look or sound anything like Cobra. Say hello to Serpent-Man everybody.]

Greetings, citizens! I am Serpent-Man! And I believe in truth, justice, and the principles the Founding Fathers outlined in the United States Constitution! I'm a recent arrival to these parts, but I just wanted you all to know that my first act as a Pokemon Trainer was to apprehend the treacherous and evil Cobra Commander! I plan to immediately take him to the police, so that he can be properly tried and sentenced for his crimes, and given the rights given to such people by the Bill of Rights or its equivalent here!

[And that's it. Yeah. ]

[Action]
[Somehow Cobra Commander has apparently managed to escape from his earlier predicament, and after spotting that machine, proceeds to start running around looking for it. He doesn't have the faintest idea what it is, but that R means it's Team Rocket's, and if he recovers it, it might earn some points with them.

So he can basically be found anywhere, looking everywhere and through everything. Houses, businesses, trash cans, under rocks, and so on. That thing's got to be around here somewhere.]

{OOC: Most replies to the video will probably be coming from

serpentmanaway!}

Current Location: EVERYWHERE

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Current Location: Vermilion City

[Today’s video shows one side of a room, with donation boxes lined up along the wall. The same boxes that for the past few weeks have been out on the streets, just sitting there in the hopes that people will contribute something to help the needy. And after the recent legendary rampage, there’s certainly a lot more need for such a thing than there was before.

Too bad that the contents aren’t going to anyone deserving, which might be clear once Cobra steps on screen.]

By now these should look familiar to mosssst of you. Several of these boxes were left in various areas, in the hopes that ssssomeone would contribute their hard earned money or items in a misssguided attempt to help those less fortunate. While such actions are typically considered noble by ssssociety, this was nothing more than stupidity on your parts!

And why, you may ask, was it ssstupid? Because! None of these items are going to charity! And before any of you accuse me of theft, they never were! I haven’t ssstolen anything! Merely collected the receptacles I had delivered in the firsssst place! That’s right. There’s no benevolent company or charitable organization behind this! There never was! The entire thing was always a Cobra operation!

[There’s no cackling here since apparently Cobra has more to say.]

But I couldn’t have done thisss alone. No, of course not. Which is why in return for their excellent assistance, I will be making a rather large donation to Team Rocket. The donation will of course, come from the proceeds so generously donated to Cobra by all of you. And that is something I want all of you to think about.

Think about what your charity and ssso called Christmas ssspirit have gotten you! Or perhaps I should say what it will get you! The answer, for those of you too ssstupid to figure it out, is more acts of terror! Acts of terror funded by your generous donations! Perhaps next time you’ll think twice before deciding to help sssssomeone! After all, they could just be exploiting your compassion and generosity like I did!

[And now there’s the obligatory evil laughter to end Cobra’s broadcast.]

{OOC: And here’s the reveal of the scheme detailed in this post.}

Current Location: Goldenrod City: Rocket Base

Can you believe thissss nonsense?

[From the video, it looks like Cobra Commander’s wandered outside today to show everyone a box. Some people may have already seen them by now.]

Charity? Charity? I don’t know whose sssstupid idea this was, but I hope it fails! Collecting things for a good cause! Things like thissss sicken me! Who would be ssstupid enough to donate to charity?

[That should probably be enough to convince anyone that Cobra Commander is the last person who would be behind such a thing, but since when does Cobra have the sense to refrain from overdoing something?]

And if it wasn’t bad enough already, it’s Christmas charity! That’s even worse! Well, they’re not getting ssssso much as a cent from me! Ever! And I pity anyone ssstupid enough to give them anything!

[There. That should be enough, so he’ll end the feed there.]

{OOC: Post to go with this. Figured Cobra throwing a public fit about it would work better to distance himself from it.}

Current Location: Vermilion City

[Hey Johto, Kanto! Guess who finally got out of that Well, hopped on his Skarmory, and plans on never returning to Azalea Town again?

Cobra Commander has video on, and is using one of those nondescript Rocket base rooms again. Also, he’s still in a noticeably bad mood after the past few days.]

First of all, while I was …detained over the past few days, I received at least three messages full of ssssome garbage about Beedrills and crushes and I don’t even remember what else! But it was ssstupid and reading them was a waste of my time! Those of you who decided to ssspend your time sending me this ridiculous nonsense should consider yourselves lucky that I have no way of finding out who you are! Otherwise, you would regret the decision to send those messages for the rest of your natural lives!

[His life was already sucking by being trapped in the well. Hearing about his true crush and Skuntanks didn’t exactly make things better.]

Now then, as you all should remember, I promised to attack the place I hate the most in Johto! And I did! No doubt you were all out sssearching, probably even in that horrible weather, trying to ssstop me! And you failed! So without any further delay, allow me to reveal my plan!

[Despite what he said, he’s going to delay the announcement for dramatic effect.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Okay, now!]

I poisoned the Slowpoke Well! And there’s nothing any of you can do about it now!

[There’s the usual villainous laughter from Cobra as the feed ends.]

( Private Text to Kato )

Current Location: Goldenrod City: Rocket Base

When are these sssstorms going to end?

[For those listening in, there’s the typical cave music and…splashing? Also some sounds that could be the noise from Grimers moving around.]

This is ridiculoussss! I’ve devoted countless hours to planning my attack, and now I can’t do anything! Not a sssingle thing!

[Cobra’s way too mad to bother with lying or trying to not look completely harmless here.]

How could thisss happen a second time? I haven’t been here in years, and yet the ssssame thing happens that happened last time! This is no mere coincidence! No, it can’t be! It had better not be! So help me if I find out that any of you or your Pokémon are responsssible for this, there will be consequences! Dire consequences!

[What follows next is a rather odd noise. The sound of a combat boot connecting with and sinking into muck. It seems that at that the end of his fit, Cobra Commander decided to kick his Grimer, and now his foot is stuck.]

What is thissss? Unhand me at once! Right now! I’m your trainer, and you will do as I ssssay!

[There’s a thud as the Grimer lets go and Cobra hits the ground. Unfortunately, the Gear also hits the ground, ending the audio broadcast there.]

Current Location: Slowpoke Well

After several months of research, I have revised my list of targets. However, before I get into that, I would first like to pose a question to our sssscience team. How long is thissss-

[The Commander lifts up the side of his hood. Anyone expecting to see his face is probably going to be disappointed since all that’s exposed is a small portion of his cheek. This happens to be covered in black and purple splotches. He lets the camera linger on it for a moment before pulling his mask back down.]

Going to last? My powers disappeared a while ago, and these are still here! When are they going to go away? I want an answer! And before I get to thisss list, those of you already handling our various enemies need to report in with your progress! Or I may be forced to consider reassigning your targets to other members! Now then, here is the new list!

[The Pokegear is grabbed and turned towards a piece of paper lying on Cobra’s desk. It reads as follows:
( The List ) ]

Study thisss list, gather information, and learn what we’re up against! Remember, knowing is half the battle! And the other half is crushing anyone who dares oppose us!

Current Location: Vermillion City

[After spending the past few days working through his files and finally learning how the Pokegear version of Caller ID works, Cobra Commander is ready to present his findings. So around this time, he'll be sending out an audio broadcast on the Rocket only channel.]

[Private Audio/Video on the Rocket Frequency]

The following is a list of targets and my recommendations as to what should be done about them.

[The video feed clicks on showing a single page document.]

High Priority Targets (These targets are believed to be an immediate threat to any plans. They should be eliminated on sight unless otherwise noted.):
-The two who disabled the bombs. One goes by the name of Athrun Zala. The other is named Shinn Asuka.
-Lightning Farron: Has apparently threatened Team Rocket. May or may not be working with a group. Verify whether she is or not before eliminating.
-Roy Mustang: Opposed the Magnet Train operation. Military experience. Possesses all eight badges. Approach with extreme caution.

Others Worthy of Investigation:
-Minnie Mouse
-Crow Hogan
-Isaac McDougal
-Emmy Altava

Once again these are only my recommendations, but if someone were to act on these, by all means go right ahead.

Current Location: Goldenrod City: Rocket Base

( Private Text to Gorthan )

{OOC: Just passing along some reports about the Commander's home world to Gorthan. He'll be posting publicly later on this week and probably next week too.}

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: Goldenrod City: Rocket Base