91 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[When the feed starts Cobra's...laughing. It probably has something to do with the fact that he's inside and not caught outside in the torrential downpour of Espurrs. And he's not planning on heading outside until this is all over whenever that may be.]

Brilliant! This is brilliant! I was wondering if anyone would ever try ssssomething like this again!

[He goes on laughing on camera for quite a while before realizing that he should probably explain.]

Oh, that's right. I suppose most of you have absolutely no idea what I'm going on about. And thissss time I'll chalk it up to ignorance and not your overwhelming ssstupidity.

[Okay, now that he's insulted everyone watching, he'll explain.]

Ssssome time ago, a rather...unbalanced individual who used to be here, unleashed a rain of exploding Pineco on Goldenrod City causing untold amounts of dessstruction and devessstation! And as far as I know, he was never caught, ssso I've wondered for some time why no one's tried it again!

[Of course he's leaving out the parts where he didn't like said attack stealing his thunder and had a pinecone explode in his face...but Cobra feels things like that are better off being removed from this Johto history lesson.]

Though it is sssslightly disappointing that the persons responsible didn't bother to teach them Explosion before launching them.

Comments

[rarestcandy]

You wouldn't want a cat to explode, though. That'd be gross. These guys're prolly full of, I dunno, purple goo.

[HEY BUDDY.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss, I suppose that would be disgusting, but that doesn't ssseem to happen when Pokemon explode.

[At least not with the ones he's seen explode.]

[rarestcandy]

What kinds of pokemon have you exploded before, though? You ever get something like a cat doin' that?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I'll admit that I haven't sssseen one that can do that yet, but I am hardly an expert on every Pokemon out there.

[rarestcandy]

Well, 'course not, that'd be hard.

[She understands, pal.]

What d'you think makes it so a pokemon can explode, anyway?

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

Did you get hit in the face by one trying to save people, that time.

[He remember this oh so well.]

Has it escape your notice that those pokemon clearly aren't from either region?

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

No, I was trying to save Johto from that idi...mad sssscientist, so that I could conquer it at a later date! As I've ssssaid before, I have no interest in ruling over a destroyed world!

And I don't care where they're from!

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

You are still going on about conquering the world? When you don't even want to learn basic crap like how many regions this place has and what pokemon they got.

You are such a shitty commander.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It doesn't matter how many regions there are! They'll all fall under Cobra rule eventually!

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

And how are you going go about that? You have no Intel, probably not enough money and no real power. Yep, you're path to conquest is looking great from here.

[text]

[explosivecombat]

[DID SOMEONE SAY JOHTO HISTORY LESSON INVOLVING EXPLOSIVE SHIT BECAUSE HELLO]

Oh, what's this? I haven't heard about that incident before.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You haven't? It must have slipped my mind. After all, it's been years since I've had reason to think about it.

[...like all his other failures and embarrassing moments, he tries not to dwell on them much.]

[text]

[explosivecombat]

Well, for what it's worth, the cats can't explode. So at least this incident's lack of explosions isn't due to a lack of taste.

[...Kimblee.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Then why bother making it rain Pokemon in the firssst place?

[It seems pointless now.]

[explosivecombat]

Perhaps it's for the same reason there were sharks involved in the hurricane? More an act of god than an act of man, in other words.

[islandshore]

You know, I'm kinda surprised you're so excited about this. Sounds to me like you've got a soft spot for fluffy kittens.

[He should know better than to poke a snake with a stick, but Riku can't hide the grin on his face.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I am excited about it because it's been ssssome time since I've seen anyone attempt something like this. However, I do not have a sssoft spot for anything! Otherwise I would be out there with some ssssort of net or something in order to save the animals or ssssomething equally ridiculousssss!

[Oh wait, he forgot to throw an insult in there somewhere.]

Ssssomething that I am sure some idiot is already out there doing as we ssspeak!

[islandshore]

How do you know it's not some weird natural disaster? You'd think that if somebody really was behind this, they would've said something by now.

[Then again, he could be off base. Not every baddy gloats the way that Cobra does.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I don't. But given its obviousssss ssssimilarities to the prior incident I spoke of, it makes much more ssssense to assume that it's man made.

[Or at least to Cobra it does.]

[islandshore]

But that doesn't explain why nobody around here knows what the cats are. It's just like those Goomies-- no dex info.

[He shrugs.]

Maybe a legendary Pokémon got bored.

[VIDEO - LOCKED]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Cobra, Cobra no, what are you doing you're going to give Kimblee ideas, please stop.]

Someone launched Pineco in Goldenrod? I suppose it would be fairly easy to amass an army of them and they all learn Explosion naturally, so it wouldn't take too much work... It sounds like it could be an interesting attack.

[Of course now that Cobra's broadcast it to the entire network it isn't something to consider right now.]

Do you remember when this happened, Commander? I certainly don't recall anything like that.

[But Cobra's been here for even longer than he has, so of course Cobra's gotten to experience all sorts of awesome things that didn't involve being stuck in Mahogany Town and forgotten about by Team Rocket.

...He's still a bit bitter about that.]

[VIDEO - LOCKED]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It was about three years ago and ssssince I wasn't involved, I don't have all the details, but from what I recall, we used to have a rather...disssturbed individual in our science division. Quite unlike any of the other ones we've had over the years. The type of person I wouldn't bother employing unless they were kept under the sssstrictest supervision.

[He'll pause there, unsure if he should say more about Tarantulas or just continue explaining. Continue explaining wins out after a quick debate.]

Anyways, thisss individual for whatever reason decided to unleash an insectile plague upon Johto. Because he was bored. And part of thisssss...thissss cure for boredom involved a series of airstrikes via exploding Pineco delivered by....actually I can't recall how they were launched.

[...probably because he stopped paying attention to it after an explosion knocked him out.]

The whole thing really was geniussss though. In the hands of a driven individual with goals other than inciting chaos, it might have been much more effective than it was.

[Not that Cobra doesn't appreciate chaos here and there, but there's usually a point to it...or at least there's a reason for it to him.]

[sadisticwarfare]

...That certainly is interesting. I suppose you're the only one who's been in the organization that long to remember something like that. Did this individual do anything else like that? It sounds like his methods could have been quite fascinating.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Not that I can remember. There may have been ssssome...incidents with various trainers, but nothing that I can recall the specifics of.

[He'll think for a moment more, before giving up.]

No, I'm almost certain that was the only major incident thisss individual started.

wow thanks for the notif gmail

[sadisticwarfare]

That's almost disappointing. It would have been interesting to see how many people here remember something like that.