cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 104

[Today's going to be one of those rare days where Cobra Commander makes a video broadcast and isn't complaining about anything or threatening to blow up something or any of that. Because none of that is important right now. What is important though is the subject of today's address, which he'll get to soon enough.]

Five years. In a few days it will be five years ssssince I've arrived in this world. I'm ssssure some of you can't even begin to imagine being here for that long. And yesss, I know, some idiot just went on about this subject a while ago, but what I have to sssay is far more important.

[Because he apparently can't be nice about anything even if he's not threatening you all.]

Anyway, five years ago, I would have assumed that by now, thisss world would have fallen under my control. Within a year, two maybe. I certainly couldn't have envissioned that almost five years would pass before I'd conquered sssso much as a mere island. Which isn't to ssssay that I'd be disappointed with myssself, merely that five years ago I couldn't have even begun to anticipate the ridiculoussss going ons that have occurred over the last five years.

[Legendaries, Team Rocket stuff, Kanto just sort of...appearing, fourth walls, and all sorts of other crazy things.]

And I can only assume that the next five years will be full of ssssome sssort of equally unimaginable chaos.

[Like...he doesn't know. Maybe it'll rain Magikarps for a month or something. Or everyone will get warped into the Ice Path. ...or maybe there'll be a gun Pokemon since there's sword Pokemon now. Who knows? The point is that he can't even begin to guess what sort of crazy Pokemon shenanigans could happen.]

However, I can guarantee one thing. Yessss, one thing is absolutely certain! And that is that it will not take me another five years to finish conquering the globe! I guarantee that within the next five years, the entire Pokemon world will belong to me! To Cobra Commander!

[...and that's apparently how he commemorates being here that long. By reaffirming his intent to rule the world and by cackling like a lunatic until he ends the transmission.]

Threaded | Flat

[Five years. He can hardly believe it. In September, Archer will have been here for four years. Did he really arrive only a year after Cobra? Cobra's seemed to be a permanent fixture of this world. Archer turns the video on and as usual, he's smirking.]

Congratulations are in order, Commander. You've handed being stuck in this world wonderfully and I look forward to seeing what you'll do in the future.

[Archer's smirk falters a bit for a moment. Now that he's gotten the formalities out of the way, he wants to say something a little more personal. Of course that's incredibly difficult for him, so give him a moment.]

I'm... I'm very pleased that I've had the chance to work with you, Commander. You're...

[....................]

Well, you're a very valuable ally. I suppose I should send you some sort of anniversary gift, hmm?

[It's not quite what he wanted to say, but it'll have to do. Admitting that he considers you a friend is really difficult, okay.]

Edited 2015-05-27 20:47 (UTC)

I've only just arrived here and somehow I still doubt that you will be able to take over this entire place.

[An Absol stares into the camera...

and just gives the hugest unimpressed yawn.

(Clearly Jehra has learned well from his papa.)]

What? You want to be the top guy around here too? Just how many of you guys are there?

It's taken you five years to take over an island.

[She's trying not to laugh. At least she's smirking. Wow, you're ridiculous, Cobra. This just adds to her 'Okay, this guy is really pathetic' meter.]

I'll be surprised if you don't manage to lose that island in the next five years.

My, it has been a while, hasn't it.

[Well, look who's actually deigning to show up on video for once, just for you.]

It's been a pleasure and an honor, Commander.

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