104 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Today's going to be one of those rare days where Cobra Commander makes a video broadcast and isn't complaining about anything or threatening to blow up something or any of that. Because none of that is important right now. What is important though is the subject of today's address, which he'll get to soon enough.]

Five years. In a few days it will be five years ssssince I've arrived in this world. I'm ssssure some of you can't even begin to imagine being here for that long. And yesss, I know, some idiot just went on about this subject a while ago, but what I have to sssay is far more important.

[Because he apparently can't be nice about anything even if he's not threatening you all.]

Anyway, five years ago, I would have assumed that by now, thisss world would have fallen under my control. Within a year, two maybe. I certainly couldn't have envissioned that almost five years would pass before I'd conquered sssso much as a mere island. Which isn't to ssssay that I'd be disappointed with myssself, merely that five years ago I couldn't have even begun to anticipate the ridiculoussss going ons that have occurred over the last five years.

[Legendaries, Team Rocket stuff, Kanto just sort of...appearing, fourth walls, and all sorts of other crazy things.]

And I can only assume that the next five years will be full of ssssome sssort of equally unimaginable chaos.

[Like...he doesn't know. Maybe it'll rain Magikarps for a month or something. Or everyone will get warped into the Ice Path. ...or maybe there'll be a gun Pokemon since there's sword Pokemon now. Who knows? The point is that he can't even begin to guess what sort of crazy Pokemon shenanigans could happen.]

However, I can guarantee one thing. Yessss, one thing is absolutely certain! And that is that it will not take me another five years to finish conquering the globe! I guarantee that within the next five years, the entire Pokemon world will belong to me! To Cobra Commander!

[...and that's apparently how he commemorates being here that long. By reaffirming his intent to rule the world and by cackling like a lunatic until he ends the transmission.]

Comments

[explosivecombat]

[Apparently! And he's risking some sort of horrible disease for this, he's sure, so be flattered.]

It's been quite the experience so far; I assume there haven't been any further setbacks?

[At the very least we haven't needed Rebecca again.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

None that I'm aware of.

[In fact, things have been going so well, it's almost...suspicious. Where are the heroes showing up to throw him out instead of just flying over and doing recon.]

In fact, there's been ssssso few setbacks, I've begun to think about expanding my empire again.

[...the Cobra Archipelago has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Okay, even if it doesn't, it's not like he actually wants any opinions that aren't his.]

[explosivecombat]

[His...empire. Presumably he means the island...]

Is that so? Well, should you require assistance on my part, my services are always available; I imagine that goes without saying by now.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course, of course. And...

[Wow, friendship is awkward so it takes him a second to actually realize that yes he is actually interested in the answer to his question.]

What have you been up to as of late?

[explosivecombat]

I'm in Olivine right now, with no particular plans.

[The response is prompt, delivered with the usual brisk professionalism; it takes him a brief moment to amend it, primarily because he isn't entirely sure how much information Cobra actually...wants, here...

...Friendship is hard.]

I've been restless, April marked what was technically the hundredth anniversary of something that happened back in Amestris, something unfortunate for me. I've been a bit agitated since, but it's nothing unsolvable. It's the sort of agitation that usually results in several explosions and a body count, so I've no doubt that something interesting will happen eventually.

Granted, April also marked three and a half years that I've been here, so I suppose I can't complain too much.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Then perhaps it's time for a certain Rocket to make another appearance.

[Look, he's just saying that if Seth's gonna blow some stuff up in the near future, he's completely fine with that. Just don't blow up his island.]

After all, both of those ssssound like occasions worth celebrating.

[explosivecombat]

...I suppose I could let him have a little fun. It's been a while since the last time, after all; it's just somewhat difficult to find an opportunity. I have someone near me quite often who's a bit...opposed to Seth's work, shall we say.

But I'll do something eventually, I'm sure. I do hate being aimless like this, after all.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I can ssssee how that could be a problem.

[Assuming Kimblee means Isaac, this is why Cobra doesn't bother with relationships. Well, that and the fact that who on earth would even attempt to with him of all people?]

But I have complete faith that you'll find ssssome sort of solution to thisss...anniversary sssituation of yours.