cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 33

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33 | Video

[For anyone wandering the halls of the Rocket bases, lots of yelling and scraping can be heard through the door of the Commander’s room.]

Over there! No! A little more to the left! Perfect! That’s perfect! Skull Buster, leave it there!

[When his gear begins broadcasting, it shows the Commander sitting in this chair with the care package in a box on his lap.]

People of the world! Are you enjoying your Christmassss? Enjoy it while you still can!

[Then the laughter starts. It stops soon enough though.]

I demand to know the name of the person responsible for thisss gift! It is abssssolutely exquissssite! Just like the one back home on Cobra Island! Tell me now!

[That's it. Wait, no there's something else he wants to mention.]

Oh, and one last thing, to those of you who received my…gifts, I hope you enjoyed them!

[And more maniacal laughter to close his broadcast.]

{OOC: Yup, instead of something nice and easy to carry around Johto, he gets a giant Cobra throne which poor Machoke will have to carry everywhere.}

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You know... You shouldn't make your evil plots so obvious for everyone. [You remind him of Lucius...]

[Psh, obvious. That wasn't obvious. Totally wasn't.]

And what evil plots would those be? Since apparently they're ssssso obvious.

Well, the whole 'enjoy while you still can' part raises all sorts of red lights.

And the way you said gifts.

Not to mention this whole hissing like a snake thing you have going on.

I always talk like that!

[Except for when he doesn't.]

There's nothing suspicioussss about anything I said!

[There totally is, but he's not going to admit it.]

Well, whatever you say man.

Still, how do you plan on traveling with that huge ass throne anyway? [That looks really inconvenient.]

I'm going to have it carried around Johto! Wherever I go, it goes!

And just who is going to carry that around? Do you have any Pokémon capable of doing that?

I don't ssssee how that's any of your business, but for your infortmation, yesss I do! And yesss it will be carrying my throne around!

[Recit was going to make a point about that being sort of cruel to the Pokémon, but, well, he kind of expects that from this guy. I mean, he comes from a place called Cobra Island for crying out loud!]

Well, that looks a little bit inconvenient, but whatever floats your boat man.

I don't care if it's inconvenient! They'll do as I sssay!

[Machoke groans from off camera. One can almost hear its happiness stat dropping.]

Say, aren't you not even a little bit afraid of your Pokémon rebelling against you?

Of course not! No one rebels against Cobra Commander and lives! No one!

Your name is... Cobra Commander...? [Recit says to himself, almost whispering. Man, this guy isn't being subtle AT ALL.]

Well, I don't know dude. People's luck can change.

Then it's a good thing Pokemon aren't people!

[Machoke groans from off camera. Not this again.]

And yessssss my name is Cobra Commander! Don't forget it!

[It's a really hard to forget name... Recit thinks to himself, with a quiet sigh.]

But, say, don't you think that if you treat your Pokémon a little bit better they might be more willing to do things for you? [Recit knows he's wasting his time on this guy, but oh well...]

Let me think about that for a moment.

[Thinking. Thinking. More thinking.]

No! They'll do what I sssay and that's that!

Well, it's your life man. [Rolls eyes. Yep, this guy's a lost cause.]

That's right! It is! And don't you roll your eyesssss at me!

Dude, you really need to chill out.

Chill out? I don't need to chill out! And even if I did need to chill out, I certainly wouldn't do it because ssssomeone like you told me to do it!

That doesn't look comfortable at all.

[says the lazy mage who's only half paying attention to you, half flipping through a book written in what may or may not be runes of some sort]

It is not that it's any of your business!

If you think so.

So, does this mean you'll be settling down in one place?

Of course not! I've yet to find anywhere in Johto that's worthy of being made into a permanent base of operations.

[Because if there's giant snake themed fortresses in Johto, he's yet to find them.]

...You're sure you aren't going to settle down? Because, well, that looks pretty heavy.

Then it's a good thing that I won't be the one carrying it around Johto!

I feel sorry for whoever is...

Don't! It doesn't need your pity!

[Machoke sighs from off camera. It already knows it'll be carrying this thing all over Johto.]

Ah, it's not really pity, more sympathy really.

It doesn't need your ssssympathy either!

Well, he has it anyway.

Hey! Ika patooba! Look! _{[And Stitch holds up a nice and brightly neon-colored toy gun]}

[...Is that a toy? Why would he care about a toy...unless it's not a toy gun and it's just painted to look like one. Yes, that must be it!]

Does it work?

Ih! _{[He pulls the trigger and the toy gun makes typical ray-gun noises as the particulary bright part light up even more.]}

[Cobra Commander is unimpressed by the toy.]

Does it fire anything? Lasers? Bullets? Anything?

_{[Stitch grins]}

I can make it do that!

You can? Really?

[Oh right. They did discuss that a while back. The Commander had almost forgotten about it, but he's still interested in having a working weapon.]

Would it ssstill look like that?

_{[Nod nod]}

I think so.

Hmm. How long will it take? And how much will it cost to make thissss...item operational?

Hm.. _{[He briefly counts on his fingers]}

A few minutes! And cost... _{[he mumbles something unintelligible]}

500! _{[To clarify, he hold up five fingers]}

How soon do you need the money? I can ssssend Skarmory with an envelope right away!

Hehe, chiiba! Stitch can send gun right back! _{[Mind you, it'll be firing rubber balls and paintballs and everything else roughly that size.]}

That's perfect! Where are you?

Mahogany town!

Where in Mahogany Town? I want to make ssssure I send my Pokemon to the right place.

At the inn. The little one.

[The feed clicks off and resumes a short time later with the Commander standing outside. Next to him is Skarmory with an envelope containing the money tied to its leg.]

I'm ssssending it you now! It should be there in a few hours! Call me back when you send Ssskarmory back with the item!

[Skarmory flies off into the sky and the feed clicks off again. A few hours later, Skarmory shows up at the inn, looking annoyed. It does not appreciate being the Commander's air mail service.]

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33 | Video

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