47 | Audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[After spending the past week, slumped over in his room unconscious, there were a few things that Cobra Commander should probably be concerned about. But those can wait, because he’d rather turn on his gear and cackle like a madman for the next few minutes over the network.]

Oh, thisss is truly the perfect thing to wake up to. Unlike before, when I was so rudely ripped away from taking back what was rightfully mine; thisss time there wasn’t anything like that! Meaning conquering Johto and making all of you miserable is now my number one priority! This place now has my complete and undivided attention! And that means-

[He stops there, not really feeling up to continuing his tirade at the moment. Spending a week without any sort of food, or any sort of water beyond what his Pokemon could get probably had something to do with that.]

Just think about what that means!

[The feed ends there, and about an hour later, another one starts on the Rocket channel. It’s short and straight to the point.]

[Private Audio for Rockets]
I need to know if anything important happened during the past week. If it did, let me know! Immediately!

Comments

[AUDIO / PRIVATE]

[determinator]

You were unconscious for the week?

[Archer remembers this happening to Hughes; it's happened to other people here too, hasn't it?]

What happened?

[What did you do, Cobra?]

You missed another anonymous attack. It happened a couple of days ago. I can tell you right now neither Kimblee nor I were behind it. Otherwise, I haven't heard anything.

[AUDIO / PRIVATE]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I was. And I'm not entirely sssure how it works, but I went home for a while. Or sssomething like that. It's happened to me before.

[He's quite calm about this. Hard for him to throw a tantrum over it when he's a few hours away from conquering the entire world back home.]

About this attack, do you have any idea who was behind it?

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

It means we get to hear more from you. Greeeeaaaat.

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course it does! But that's not all it means!

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

The other part is probably something bothersome that I don't really feel like hearing about, knowing you.

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What it means is that I'm going to put even more work into conquering Johto! What I've done before will look like nothing compared to what I'll do in the future!

[video]

[legendoflove]

Is something wrong? You're talking kind of... funny.

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I am not talking funny! This is how I always talk!

[Audio]

[legendoflove]

[sheesh, and he doesn't want to talk to talk face to face either? when these phones let you? how rude!]

... I'm sorry for your loss?

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Loss? What loss? What are you talking about? I haven't lost anything!

[audio]

[best_laid_plans]

Did you miss my promotion, then? I'm hurt.

[Gloat gloat gloat.]

[audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Promotion? What promotion?

[Yes, he did.]

[audio] also this was toootally always private sssh sorry

[best_laid_plans]

Nothing of particular importance. They've given me the Game Corner to manage.

[He's not even going to try and make that a jab. Just let it sit there.]

Consider it an update on your potential assets, should you require my services again.

[Private Audio] It's okay!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

The Game Corner? Congratulations.

[He's more or less sincere about that since it doesn't seem to threaten his standing within Team Rocket. Unless it means Malik somehow outranks him. Then he'll have issues.]

I imagine you'll have little to worry about. I won't be targeting that location a sssecond time.

[Video]

[usedcharm]

Just think about what that means?

[Not that she has any idea who this is, but the implication behind his words isn't lost on her in the least.]

I don't have to. I know exactly what it means. It means you can try whatever you want, but there'll be people waiting to stop you!

[How precious, does she even know about team rocket yet? Silly rookie breeder.]

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss, because they've done such a wonderful job of stopping me before. Like the time they ssstopped the gas attack. Or the mailbomb.

[He's not going to bring up the Game Corner failure.]

Oh wait! Those didn't happen! They can wait all they want, but no one stops Cobra Commander! No one!

[Audio]

[usedcharm]

[Those events mean nothing to her, but she's still going to frown about it.]

You can win the battle, but that doesn't mean you win the war. If you hurt people, you'll be found and stopped eventually, no matter what you think.

[Audio]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

If I win the important ones, the war is mine. Which it will be! And as long as I ssselect my targets carefully, which I've been doing, no one will ever capture me! So there!

[thetruehistorian]

You aren't the type to keep a woman waiting, are you?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What? What are you talking about?

[Video] <-by the way >.>

[thetruehistorian]

Since I'm as yet unfamiliar with the depth of your genius, I have no means to intuit what your undivided attention implies. Care to enlighten me?

Audio forever over here.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It means that I have nothing to focus on anymore besides taking over the world!

[video]

[when_turks_fly]

This is a joke, right?

[ A joke at which she's trying really hard not to laugh. Oh, and she's failing at that whole not laughing thing. Because seriously. ]

[Audio Forever]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course it's not a joke! What makes you think that it's a joke?

[video]

[when_turks_fly]

Stop. Rewatch your broadcast, then get back to me. We'll go from there.