cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, I can't even say if you look like a preschooler or not sing you have this weird thing covering you face, how very mature.

[He sighs.]

If you actually are the supervillain of this world then I am really disappointed. I never signed up for such a noisy supervillain...

I don't care what you signed up for! And there's a reason I wear thisssss, but it's none of your business!

[The picture of maturity here.]

Yeah, definitely. Look at me, I'm so evil, dressed in supervillain suit, I want to rule the world, I won't tell you anything, supervillain laughter goes here. Your performance is really cliche and could use some originality. That would make you scarier... since that's what you are going for, right?

[He sighs.]

If there's any hope for you to be scary.

Nonsense! I did tell you something! In fact, I told everyone ssssomething! I made it quite clear what I'm capable of and what will happen if my demands are not met!

You did and for some reason nobody seems to be shaking in fear or willing to give up their eggs. Are you sure that you are doing this supervillain thing right? It doesn't seem to be working too well... Why would you want that, by the way, are you planning to cook some kind of egg dish? Because you don't want to have them hatch and then raise all of these Pokemon, do you?

And what if I do want to hatch and raise them all? What then?

You'll be a really busy Pokemon daddy working three shifts. How are you going to provide food for them? It's hundreds of Pokemon we're talking about. Are you going to run around and collect berries for them? Didn't think of that, huh?

[Shinji can actually picture Cobra the Pokemon Daddy returning home after a long day at work to his little Pokemon babies but that did take some imagination.]

I don't think the answers to those questions are any of your business. But I've already made preparations to deal with all of those problems!

Well, have you thought about running in election? You kind of sound like a politician here, maybe with a stylist to take care of your looks you might even get quite popular... I wouldn't vote for you though. Not that I can vote but I don't care much about politics to begin with.

Unfortunately, I am completely unelectable for a wide variety of reasons.

[Which would be why he tries to buy candidates instead of running himself.]

Is it because of that mask you are wearing? You can't be that ugly... can you? Or it's just because of criminal record? Oh well, no point in asking since you probably won't tell me anyway.

[At this point Shinji is not sure anymore what actually is going on in this conversation.]

Those are...a few of the reasons, yesssss.

[The criminal record being the main one. But really, there's multiple reasons why he can't.]

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