cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Current Location: Vermilion City

Entry tags:

70 | Video

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

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... Is this for real?

Edited 2013-05-02 02:19 (UTC)

[Dude, you sound as fucking crazy as Eridan and his shitty doomsday devices. Laughing at you tbh.]

Do you have your thinkpan on wrong? If you don't want to rule over a ruined planet, than you probably shouldn't threaten to ruin it in the first place! Do you really think people are going to give you eggs because you're flapping your cavity like that?

I bet it works just as well as your terrible way of speaking!

Scrambled or hard boil?

(Sayaka's face appears on screen with a confused and disbelieving look.)

...I'm not from America or anything, but wasn't April Fools Day last month?

[... A device that can control the weather. Are you serious. Crow can't help but raise an eyebrow questioningly, doubt painted all over his face.]

Man, you're more full of shit than usually. Is it some special occasion or what?

Ugh, seems like this world is full of noisy people after all. Why everyone has the need to act all supervillain in front of others? It's emabarassing and makes you look like a preschooler, I thought people do realize when they get too old for these make-believe games...

...Oh, I didn't know the Gear had cartoons on it.

[She'll just try to change the channel then, this one is lame.]

[Blake's attention is half on the hissing welding mask idiot and half on trying to wrestle a squirming Weedle away from crawling up into his face.]

What do you even want them for? You can't eat them, and they hatch into monsters that chew on your shoes. Believe me, if I could get rid of some of these things without consequences a lot worse than some global warming bullshit, I would.

Edited 2013-05-02 13:07 (UTC)

[...you know, this is normally the point at which he would start screaming about how justice will prevail or something, and he definitely doesn't believe that negotiating with criminals is anything but a stupid idea, but he's kinda hit a snag in trying to follow the logic presented here, hang on.]

So either we meet your demands, or you're going to do something that will result in an outcome that no one wants, even you.

[...]

Especially you. Maybe especially you. Because you'd have to try to conquer what's left, which you've said you have no interest in.

Is that right?

[...oh you. Ryner's not going to bother giving you video today, sorry.]

Even if I had any around, I wouldn't send them your way. That'd just be cruel to them.

You know if you actually wrote down your plans and read them to yourself maybe they wouldn't sound completely stupid or flawed from the get go.

[Commander did you miss this little shit stain because he sure did miss you.]

_{[Somebody's feeling gutsy today!]}

We just had an Apocalypse. I'm having a hard time believing you can do anything like that.

No thanks! A lot of my pokemon know weather-based attacks, too, so I don't think this plan was very well thought out, actually.

[ Said...perfectly cheerfully. She's amused. ]

Are you really threatening everyone for some eggs?

[Naruto really hates guys like this. He'd also thought that in this place, he was done with people trying to take over the world.]

OI. LISTEN. I dunno who you are, but we'll NEVER give in to you or your stupid plans!

Oh, please. So you're a one-man bargain-basement Ponyville weather team. That doesn't mean we have to listen to everything you say! Why, if Rainbow tried that on me, I wouldn't fix any of her clothes for a year!

You were unable to find a better use for such a device?

[Genuine confusion here.]

Are you unable to obtain eggs through other means? Most here seem to manage to acquire them through chance.

[...wow. This guy was DEFINITELY the special type of crazy. Then again, what else would you expect from a cartoon villain...]

...oh, sorry. I spaced out there for a second. You were saying something about weather? Partly cloudy with a high chance of bullshit, right?

You a Team Rocket member?

[Frowning at that tarp. What kind of weird machine is it? Hm...]

How does it work?

[He's more curious than afraid at this point, even if he probably should be. Still, it'd be more impressive if the guy could actually explain his plan. ~~Then he could try to come up with an effective counter for it.~~]

Um no.

[A few weather attacks? Yumi can ~~probably~~ take this!]

You're joking, right?

Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots.

[Not really.]

I believe I should now inform you that I have listed a boat as missing so we can use it in the future. Of course, I had to rename it and everything, but, the point I'm trying to make, in case you didn't get it [ And she really doubts he got it. ] is that drowning the world would be preferable.

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