cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because catching them would take time and effort, and additionally, it would be easier to get them to think the way I want from hatching as opposed to trying to change the mind of an already grown up Pokémon!

[He wants his Pokémon army to obey him, okay?]

Who knows? I wouldn’t put anything past the people here! After all, better sssafe than sorry! And as for the Pokémon problem, they can’t break the machine if they don’t know where it is! Whereas some sort of device to counter it could broadcast a signal that would cause this device to break down.

[He’s not even sure why he’s telling anyone this. There’s no device and giving someone the information later to thwart such a device probably isn’t the best idea.]

As to why world domination, it’s ssssimple. Because I am the best person available to take the world from the ssssorry state that it’s in now and turn it into what it should be! One world, united under the Cobra banner!

[And cue the maniacal villain laughter.]

[To be fair, she's not even in the Kanto region, so the only problem would be this conversation being public.

Although dumb teenagers are natural enemies of grown men, it's a valid concern.]

Ahhh--that wasn't funny at all, why are you laughing?

And if you're going to put it like that, wanting to improve the world and all, why don't you just run for office? Why does it have to involve all this destruction and making threats, you'd sure get a lot more people agreeing with your terms if you actually said that you wanted to make the world better.

My definition of better and the majority's definition are two completely different things! And running for office with my record? I'd never get elected!

[Which is why he pays political candidates to run for him in his world.]

Your record? ...You mean you've had schemes like this before? And none of them worked...um...I think that'd serve as more reason to change your approach to things.

What I mean is that in my world, people with felony convictions cannot run for high office!

[He refuses to comment on how often his schemes fail.]

So basically you've been going about this whole "change the world" thing wrong from the beginning?

[Not...very smart.]

What? No, I haven't!

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