cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 103

Entry tags:

103 | Rocket Video

[Today we have a Rocket only video, showing Cobra Commander in a house on his giant snake throne that occasionally pops up in his videos. It doesn't appear to be the house he normally broadcasts from, so it appears that he had the chair moved to that island from the other day.]

Hello members of Team Rocket. Thissss is Cobra Commander speaking. The new emperor of Cobra Island, and as I've just recently heard, the newest Rocket Alpha.

[That's right. He's been promoted.]

And today I am here to present a very valuable opportunity for ssssome of you to redeem yourssselves in my eyes.

[Still bitter about the jail thing? Nope. Not him.]

I have four individuals I want dealt with. Three of these targets are open to any of you, and believe me, successsss will be handsomely rewarded. The remaining assignment is unfortunately ressstricted to those with a more proven track record if they are interested in taking it.

[And he could just send his new NPC goons after them, but he really does like providing work for everyone else.]

The first target is one Carter Blake. The idiot who recently appointed himssself leader of the world.

[Cobra sees no irony or hypocrisy here. None at all.]

I would like to ssssee someone shut his mouth. Permanently if it can be arranged. As well as pay for what he did to me in Cherrygrove. The sssecond is one Lightning Farron, who has recently returned to thissss world. Sssome of you may remember her being a problem in the past. Sssee that she does not become one again.

[Of course preemptively attacking someone might cause that problem in the first place.]

For the third, I unfortunately lack their name at the moment. The target is a red haired woman of few words who interfered with my plans in Cherrygrove. I would almossst count on her becoming a problem for the rest of us as well. And sssince no doubt at least one of you will complain about that dessscription being vague, she sssseemed to communicate via a Psychic Pokemon. Ssssurely something like that will make her identity easier to narrow down.

[And that's it, aside from target number four should anyone ask about that.]

{OOC: Everyone here's been listed with their player's permission! If you're taking a target, just get in contact with them for plotting and stuff like that!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Okay, Jinnai doesn't like this guy. He hasn't liked him since the Valentine's thing and the fact that this guy had basically spammed him with Operation: Counter-Opposing Brazen Recruitment Attempt (C.O.B.R.A., if you will) and asked him to join a damn terrorist organization.

In addition to, you know, the damn terrorist organization he's already in and not too pleased about.

Just the same, he knows authority when he sees it, and he's also not opposed to the idea of the enemy's enemy being one's ally, and...well, there's someone who's trying to horn in on his territory from the look of it.]

Oi. Just so you're aware, it seems Blake's looking for allies; he seemed interested in my experience, when he found out I have some. I don't know if it's proper military experience or political experience that he's looking for, but either way he seems to know that he doesn't have control over this - not as much as he's claiming, anyway.

Why just shut his mouth? That's just going to make him a martyr. If you ask me, we should shut him down - more precisely, we should ensure he shuts himself down. Make him trip over his own hubris, and show him why it's a mistake for him to try to take over this world.

[That is...actually not a bad idea, ID number he doesn't recognize. Because like an idiot he made a note of the Project L.U.C.Y. ID and not the actual Pokegear ID.]

An excellent sssuggestion! But how would you ssssuggest accomplishing it?

[Ball's in your court, Jinnai. He's definitely willing to hand over destabilizing Blake's nonsense to you, but give him a plan of attack.]

[...does he...have to explain...

okay you know what he's dealing with a terrorist, he's just going to assume the guy's not exactly a genius here]

Get someone on our side close enough to him and make sure that things don't go anywhere near as he'd planned - that'd make the most sense. Undermine him and then backstab him. Simple.

[Well no, but since it is Jinnai's idea, Cobra would like to hear what it is and all. And that's about what he expected.]

I sssee. And are you volunteering to take on thissss important task? After all, it is your ssstrategy.

[Look, he's just saying if you want to go mess with Blake, you have his support.]

If you'll trust me with the task itself? Of course. After all, you'll find that my success rate with these sorts of things is quite high, my friend.

[My enemy's enemy, man.]

What I will find remains to be sssseen.

[...obviously? Why did Cobra even bother pointing that out?]

But yesss, the task is yours. See that you do not fail.

[Carter Blake, huh.

It's weird, actually, what goes through Schuldig's mind when he catches sight of that particular item on the hit list; it doesn't send him into an agitated panic the way that Kato's overtures about being furious at Nagi once had, because of course Blake and Nagi are worlds apart and he's always kind of known in the back of his mind that sooner or later his acquaintance with the guy was likely to end with Blake facedown in a ditch somewhere. That's just how it is; the guy's fun, but business is business, and the point of a game is that there's a conclusion to it sooner or later.

And yet there's a stark conflict of interest here that prickles at him in a way that actually catches him a little off-guard; he's weirdly fond of Cobra at about the same level of attachment that's made him weirdly fond of Blake, and what sends him into a brief psychological tailspin is the sudden recognition that he actually doesn't know whose side he'd be on in a clash of the hilariously wacky titans like this.

Of course his first instinct is to bristle, but somewhere along the way a rare moment of sensibility reins him back in. The politics at stake here are bigger than just him.

...Well. It'll be disappointing if something he liked gets broken by a hand other than his, but it won't be the end of the world and if that's how the cookie crumbles then so be it. This isn't the way he wanted to tip his hand and show Blake he's a traitor to their friendship; he'll just have to find a reasonable excuse for why he's staying out of that little skirmish in particular.

...

Shit, maybe he'll just ask about the psychic redhead, now that sounds like someone in his area of expertise, where "expertise" is defined as "fucking people up". Or maybe, he'll note a moment later, he'll see if his own track record has earned him enough credentials to find out who this mysterious fourth target is...]

All right, well, I'll take the bait. Call me curious; who's the magic fourth target?

[See, Cobra has no idea about any of that, and it certainly wouldn't be the first time that weirdness has happened, so he's just going to naturally assume that Schuldig's not interested in Blake, Red, or Lightning. Which makes perfect sense to him.]

That would be the internal affair I spoke of before.

[And he'll leave it at that. If Schuldig's interested in going after a member of the team, which Cobra thinks he is, he'll provide more details. If not, well, there's other targets of course, should he actually be interested in those as opposed to what Cobra thinks.]

Ooo, that one. No wonder you're not putting it out to the group at large.

[Hmmm. Might as well see where this goes, at least.]

...This doesn't have anything to do with that guy we got the A.P.B. about last week, does it?

[...oh right. That. He'd seen that notice and basically went on with his plans because to Cobra, it really wasn't a big deal.]

That is completely unrelated.

In other completely unrelated news, are you in a secure location to recieve phone calls?

[He doesn't want to leave a record of this on the Rocket feed. Though if they monitor phone calls, oh well.]

Yeah, gimme like thirty seconds.

[And off he goes, needing the reasonably short interval of time mostly so that his psychics have the chance to double-check that his area is secure.]

All right, shoot.

The ssssaboteur is one of our Grunts. I believe his name is Sssnake. It could be an alias, but I highly doubt that.

[Because the guy's carrying around snakes and in Cobra's mind that clearly means Snake isn't a fake name.]

I don't know why he did it, but he apparently took it upon himsssself to destabilize my magnetic fortresssss in Cherrygrove.

...That guy?

[And he pauses, thinking back to his venture into the Magma Base a few months back, and the incredibly strange encounter he'd had with the guy in the crate.]

I know him; that's the one that talks to snakes. John and...something, I think. Seems like he takes orders from them.

Yessss, that's the one. He was in the area on the day of my attack and as I later learned, not ordered to be there by the ones working on it. At firsssst, I thought there was a possibility that he was acting on orders to...dissscourage my outside interests, but given my recent advancement, that cannot be the case.

[Or at least he doesn't think so.]

Sssso the only remaining possibilities are that he chose to act on his own, or because ssssomeone else told him to.

[He's not sure which though.]

Either way, he needs to pay for those actions.

Which means now you're looking for somebody to look into it.

[He clicks his tongue against his teeth, shifting the device to his other ear in a moment of fussiness.]

Any idea where he was last?

I don't know! I think he's sssomewhere in Johto, but that's only because sssso few of us reside in Kanto.

All right, I'll tell you what. I'll do some snooping, see if I can pin the bastard down, and let you know what I come up with. I'm not so sure about just going right out and rolling one of our own unless I'm pretty confident it's not gonna get my head handed to me on a silver platter, you know?

[...]

Though from the sound of it, he's not really one of our own, is he.

That's right. He's not, is he?

[He's certainly not one of Cobra's anyway.]

Let me know what you find out, and should you ssssee a reason to act, then by all means, you have my permission.

[Oh, well...this certainly is something. For multiple reasons, actually.]

You received a promotion, Commander? Congratulations are in order, then!

[It's a little forced since as far as he knows, he and Cobra are still on rocky terms. And while he's not quite sure what about Cobra's recent stunts earned him the promotion, he figures he should chalk it up to seniority and just...go along with it.

As for the other reason why this post stood out to him...]

While I'm obviously not one to carry out hits, I actually know that red-haired woman. We met at the New Year's gathering in Kalos, though I haven't spoken to her since then. Did she really attempt to thwart that attack?

[That leaves him feeling slightly conflicted because he thought she was quite an interesting person. But attacking Cobra's weapon means indirectly attacking Dist's own work. Hmm.]

She's the whole reassson I crashed!

[...well, so are Blake and Snake, but Red's the one who dealt the final blow.]

She unbalanced the whole thing and her sssstupid Pokemon knocked me over the ssside!

Well, I imagine your parachute must have come in handy.

[...It was unavoidable to comment on, okay.]

It did! Far more handy than your essscape hatch would've been.

[SHOTS FIRED.

Though to be honest Dist kind of walked right into that one.]

I-It would've been perfectly handy under different circumstances! The parachute simply was more useful in this situation!

Which means I was right!

That doesn't mean my suggestion was invalid just because circumstances favored yours!

[Oh my god how old are these two.]

Edited 2015-03-31 03:42 (UTC)

But it does mean I had the better one!

[Old enough that they shouldn't be left unsupervised.]

[Cue the most exasperated huff, along with maybe some slight growling.]

No it doesn't! If the escape hatch was there, you would've escaped long before getting knocked off the damn thing!

[Arguing is getting them nowhere—nor is it a good idea for Dist to be arguing with his new superior—and yet he can't stop.]

Then how would I have continued piloting and attacking if I was no longer aboard the vehicle?

I am operating under the assumption that the vehicle was already too far gone at this point.

It was...

[...missing about two thirds of it at that point.]

Compromised, yessss. But I've piloted worse, and could have made a successssful landing if it hadn't been for her interference!

[...more like screamed and jumped over the side while it crashed into something.]

So using an escape hatch would have been practical if it was compromised anyway.

[...it'd probably be less jarring than just jumping off the thing.]

Perhapssss.

[That's as close to conceding the argument as he'll get.]

But we'll never know, will we?

No, I suppose not.

[...]

But I still refuse for it to be discounted entirely- the possibility remains!

Then perhaps you should target the perssson responssible.

[Red, he means. Not him.]

I doubt targeting her is going to solve this mystery, Commander. Besides, I said I am not one for these types of tasks. I have many important projects that need my full attention.

[He's totally lying about not being one for these tasks, for the record.]

How dissssappointing.

[Oh well, he'll find someone else. Or try to.]

I don't mind providing information though, for the record. I can always seek out contact with her to see if anything comes from it. She was pleasant enough to speak with, so I wouldn't mind it.

[He is totally aware that this is a serious matter of taking down enemies!

He just enjoys chatting with pleasant people who sometimes happen to be targets.]

Pleassant to ssspeak with? Pleasant to ssssspeak with? She ruined my...our work! I don't care if she's the greatest conversssationlist on earth, she needs to pay for that missstake!

[Hey, he caught that slip! But again, Cobra does have a point about that. She does need to face some sort of retaliation for destroying a piece of his work.]

I am well aware of what she did. With luck, we will be able to trap her. Then you can do whatever you want to make her pay.

Luck? We shouldn't need luck! Just get it done!

[And he's hanging up now because he's still sort of angry about the pleasant conversationalist thing.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

103 | Rocket Video

[video/private]

[video/private]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

text; | private

text; | private

text; | private

text; | private

text; | private

[phone call]

[phone call]

[phone call]

[phone call]

[phone call]

[phone call]

[phone call]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]

[video/private]