cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 66

[Today’s video shows one side of a room, with donation boxes lined up along the wall. The same boxes that for the past few weeks have been out on the streets, just sitting there in the hopes that people will contribute something to help the needy. And after the recent legendary rampage, there’s certainly a lot more need for such a thing than there was before.

Too bad that the contents aren’t going to anyone deserving, which might be clear once Cobra steps on screen.]

By now these should look familiar to mosssst of you. Several of these boxes were left in various areas, in the hopes that ssssomeone would contribute their hard earned money or items in a misssguided attempt to help those less fortunate. While such actions are typically considered noble by ssssociety, this was nothing more than stupidity on your parts!

And why, you may ask, was it ssstupid? Because! None of these items are going to charity! And before any of you accuse me of theft, they never were! I haven’t ssstolen anything! Merely collected the receptacles I had delivered in the firsssst place! That’s right. There’s no benevolent company or charitable organization behind this! There never was! The entire thing was always a Cobra operation!

[There’s no cackling here since apparently Cobra has more to say.]

But I couldn’t have done thisss alone. No, of course not. Which is why in return for their excellent assistance, I will be making a rather large donation to Team Rocket. The donation will of course, come from the proceeds so generously donated to Cobra by all of you. And that is something I want all of you to think about.

Think about what your charity and ssso called Christmas ssspirit have gotten you! Or perhaps I should say what it will get you! The answer, for those of you too ssstupid to figure it out, is more acts of terror! Acts of terror funded by your generous donations! Perhaps next time you’ll think twice before deciding to help sssssomeone! After all, they could just be exploiting your compassion and generosity like I did!

[And now there’s the obligatory evil laughter to end Cobra’s broadcast.]

{OOC: And here’s the reveal of the scheme detailed in this post.}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Obvioussssly, it is not!

No, it's fine. It's just that nothing important's been said.

No! Very important things have been ssssaid!

If they had been, I would've heard them.

Then you would have heard what was announced in my broadcast!

Oh, right, you did make a broadcast, didn't you... Something about Team Rocket.

That's right! I did! And that is definitely ssssomething important!

Eh, not really. Kinda figured out you were with Team Rocket a while ago, honestly.

That is not what I was talking about! And you can't prove that!

You're the one who said you gave all that money to them. Even if you're not a part of that group, somehow - and from what I've heard of them, they sound like you'd fit right in - you're definitely their ally.

Sssso you were paying attention! Then why did you waste my time with your nonsense?

Hnn... because I felt like it, I guess.

Then I would sssuggest feeling differently in the future or you might find yourself unable to feel anything at all! Ever again!

You're so threatening.

[said very deadpan-ly]

You have no idea how threatening I can be. Pray you never find out!

Unless you give me a reason to go looking, I don't plan to.

Even if I give you a reason you should avoid it!

Well, I'd like to. Being pushed into things sucks.

Yesss, I'd imagine it does.

[Like being pushed into some sort of deathtrap.]

It'd be nice if I could just sleep all day, y'know? Not bother anyone, not be bothered by anyone. 'Course, it never works out that way.

I was not talking about sssuch trivial nonsense! I was talking about being pushed into more important matters!

Never said I wasn't talking about more serious things too.

Then talk about those instead!

But what if I don't feel like it?

Then sssstop wasting my time!

[Video]

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