cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hmm...and Magikarp do evolve fairly early, but that still doesn't really account for how many you'd have? Some might level more slowly than others or not even at all. I'm sure there are a bunch of people here that have Pokemon at really high levels to fight an army of Gyarados.

[Is she having a serious discussion about this what]

So then why don't you just buy the eggs? Why do you need to ask for them like this? If it's a matter of being banned from the Breeding Centre or something, you could just get a courier to do it for you. If you "have more money than you know what to do with" the cost shouldn't be an issue.

And that weather machine back there...that is the weather machine, right? Why does it need to be under a tarp? It's not like you're keeping it a secret, you're telling us it's a weather machine. And again, why did you even need to make a weather machine when there are plenty of Pokemon that have weather effects as an attack?

I don’t care about the levels! While it’s true that higher leveled Pokemon are ssstronger, overwhelming the enemy with superior numbers works every time!

[Except for all the times his entire army has lost to a handful of people. Oops.]

And as far as I know I’m not banned from that ridiculousss establishment, though I have used false identities and couriers to procure eggs before. And while I could easily purchase them, I choose not to. I have better things to do with my money.

[Like the never ending side project of booby trapping his house in Vermilion City.]

As to why this tarp is covering that object, well…

[Um. Well. There’s a very good reason for that and it’s…

Hang on.

Okay, he’s got this.]

It’s sssimple. I don’t want anyone to see the device, deduce its components and assemble a countermeasure. And I will not allow sssomething like that to happen!

...That's still assuming people would give you the eggs though. Seriously, you could just catch Pokemon at higher levels than when they hatch out of eggs...I honestly don't understand the nature of this demand.

[It's kinda stupid is what she's saying.]

And do you really think there are that many people that could do something like that? It's like I said before, a countermeasure can be just as easy as getting a Pokemon in there that's resistant to the weather effects, whichever ones you pick, to destroy the machine. That can happen anytime, there's really no need to cover it up.

And, what's your aim? Ruling...uh, the Pokemon region? You know, I've never been able to have a conversation about this with types like you, so I've really got to ask: why? Why world domination? Ruling a world is so troublesome, just running a team is a big headache!

Because catching them would take time and effort, and additionally, it would be easier to get them to think the way I want from hatching as opposed to trying to change the mind of an already grown up Pokémon!

[He wants his Pokémon army to obey him, okay?]

Who knows? I wouldn’t put anything past the people here! After all, better sssafe than sorry! And as for the Pokémon problem, they can’t break the machine if they don’t know where it is! Whereas some sort of device to counter it could broadcast a signal that would cause this device to break down.

[He’s not even sure why he’s telling anyone this. There’s no device and giving someone the information later to thwart such a device probably isn’t the best idea.]

As to why world domination, it’s ssssimple. Because I am the best person available to take the world from the ssssorry state that it’s in now and turn it into what it should be! One world, united under the Cobra banner!

[And cue the maniacal villain laughter.]

[To be fair, she's not even in the Kanto region, so the only problem would be this conversation being public.

Although dumb teenagers are natural enemies of grown men, it's a valid concern.]

Ahhh--that wasn't funny at all, why are you laughing?

And if you're going to put it like that, wanting to improve the world and all, why don't you just run for office? Why does it have to involve all this destruction and making threats, you'd sure get a lot more people agreeing with your terms if you actually said that you wanted to make the world better.

My definition of better and the majority's definition are two completely different things! And running for office with my record? I'd never get elected!

[Which is why he pays political candidates to run for him in his world.]

Your record? ...You mean you've had schemes like this before? And none of them worked...um...I think that'd serve as more reason to change your approach to things.

What I mean is that in my world, people with felony convictions cannot run for high office!

[He refuses to comment on how often his schemes fail.]

So basically you've been going about this whole "change the world" thing wrong from the beginning?

[Not...very smart.]

What? No, I haven't!

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