cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'll keep that in mind should I ever have reason to worry about evading the police.

[Because really. He could avoid them in his sleep. There's no way he'll ever get arrested. Right?]

I believe someone so righteously villainous as yourself will have encounters with the police. [ She phrased that as politely as possible. ]

Oh, of course I will. But it's they who will be evading me! Not the other way around!

In that case, what additional humiliation is better than having the entire Johto police force destroyed by a Unicorn boat? And you keep your anonymity. [ HAHAHA. Great suggestion or greatest suggestion? ]

Yesss, I suppose no one would think that I would be behind sssuch a craft.

[He's actually considering this now.]

After all, you play your hand so brazenly that anything unexpected automatically rules you out in all cases. [ In other words: you're very predictable. But at least she said it kindly and with a faint hint of praise. ]

Exactly! No one else would dare to do the things that I do! Therefore, no one would ever sssssuspect me of doing anything different! It's brilliant!

[He's taking that as a compliment.]

Not to mention, we can use that quality to frame others. Let's just say we blew up a building and didn't announce it, the police would immediately rule you out. [ This is like a kids afternoon special on how to be terrible. ]

But if no one knows that I did it, how would I be able to profit off of the destruction? In my world, I could just position the legitimate ssside of Cobra to obtain the reconstruction bid, but here, that isn't the case.

[Cobra might be stupid about a lot of things, but when it comes to terrorism, he knows his stuff.]

You can still put in a reconstruction bid under a separate company and receive payment through that. [ She's done something similar, but, then again, she has homies in high places. ]

Yesss, of course. But I'd need a company. And the proper resources. Neither of which I have at present.

[And it's yet another installment of the neverending problem of going from running a global terrorist organization to trying to establish one in a completely different world.]

Perhaps we can design games on the pokégear to make money off of, which, in time, will definitely have the strengths and resources of your company. [ She hopes. If this is the case, she can easily crap out a good game idea or two. ]

Design...games?

[He hasn't really considered that.]

Would that really be a dependable source of income?

[Cobra's opinion of video games is that they're stupid and a waste of time, so them being a major source of income is news to him.]

There is an almost unlimited amount of pokégears and you earn a dollar for each game you sell, you can add tips and tricks for additional money which aren't too hard to design. It's an untapped market that can gain massive amounts of money for little pay, doubly so if we sell it to a corporation and make our own corporation out of these funds.

[ Lust is business savvy. A little bit ancient business savvy before the term fuck the people was invented and used because no one even spared the people a single thought, but it's savvy anyways. ]

A dollar for each copy sold, and additional profit through these tips you mentioned.

[That doesn't seem like much, but Cobra's aware that things can stack up. But still, he has his doubts. That Atari company didn't fare too well after all. And he's heard positive things about Nintendo, but who knows if that will last?

At least that's what he thinks given that he's from the late 80s/early 90s, and is way too busy taking over the world to worry about things like the video game industry.]

Even then, I fail to ssssee how that can generate massive amounts of money quickly. The market for ssssuch things can't be that big.

[ Lust will use a secret type of logic that appeals to Commander Cobra. His own. ]

You find these games stupid. You find a majority of the people here stupid. Stupid people enjoy stupid things. [ A = B = C. ] I believe, with this, we are sitting on a gold mine. I know several people who enjoy the small games on here.

[Well, he can't argue with that logic.]

True enough. Very well. Look into it and see what can be done in that market.

Of course. I'll consult my grunts on video projects that we may work on. Any ideas?

[Okay, look. If it were some horrible weapon of mass destruction scheme, he'd have ideas. If it was some way to control the TV industry, he'd have an idea. If it were disguising operatives as a rock band to take over the minds of America's youth, he'd have an idea, but video games? He's got nothing.]

No, I have no particular ideas regarding thisss project.

[ Well, don't look at her. Back in her time when she was born, they were still shitting in buckets. Hell, the most recent invention is the long distance phone call and Lust has enjoyed the hell out of that. ]

I hope you do not mind games made in your likeness. [ actually, that's a lie. she has some ideas. ]

Wait, what do you mean in my likenesss? Explain!

[Because he really doesn't see a game where you play as Cobra Commander selling well. Not here anyway.]

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