83 | Audio/Private Audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Today was supposed to be the big day for Cobra. The day when everything went right. Certainly not the day where it rained on the morning on his attack, making it a pain to record video or take photos. And certainly not the day where his metal bird got shot out of the sky by Raichu. He was actually glad there wasn't any footage of that.

Really, it'd been a mixed bag at best. He'd done some damage, but retreat and recovery had been a complete disaster. Hopefully, the others did better.]

This morning the Vermilion City Gym was the target of a carefully planned aerial attack by Cobra forces. Let this be a reminder to you all that I can sssstrike anywhere at anytime. Anywhere! Without warning if I sssso choose!

[And not that he really feels like it, but there's some villainous laughter at the end of the public feed. Now to check in with the others.]

[Private Audio to Attack Volunteers]

By now your attacks should be underway, if not already finished. So I demand to know the results of them. Report in as ssssoon as you hear thissss message! And you better have succeeded!

Comments

[konpeitoqueen]

Really? I don't know about you, but if there's anything I know about media literacy is that everything's over-sensationalized but politically correct! So not only is your story too boring to add much spice to as-is, they're just being nice and not calling it the 'failure' it really seems to be!

[Ohhhhh welp.] The other attacks look like they went soooo much better! What are you, some rookie claiming involvement for Team Rocket's actions or something? Probably saw what was happening and jumped into the fray like an excited kid in an action movie! Lame!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[And out of all that, it's the rookie comment that sets him off.]

Sssssome rookie? Some rookie? You dare call me a rookie? You have absolutely no idea who you're talking to! In fact-

[Well whatever that fact is is sort of getting lost here, since Cobra's just sort of angrily screaming into the Gear now.]

[konpeitoqueen]

Blah, blah, blah! All bark no bite! [She's one to talk.] Do you even have any real talent to show? There's nothing more disgraceful then a pathetic slave trying to one-up those rightfully above them!

You're just a jealous, talentless lapdog! Give up!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

A lapdog? A lapdog? Lisssten carefully because I will not repeat mysssself on thisss one! I am Cobra Commander! I command! I lead! Others follow! And that is not ssssubject to changing any time soon! Or ever!

[konpeitoqueen]

I bet you can't give me, a little girl, even one lousy reason to ever follow you!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Why on earth would I want you following me? I have enough annoyances in my life as it is, and no reason to add to them!

The only use I could ssssee for someone like you is..is...

[Hang on. Let him think for a moment.]

Weapons testing! As the target!

[Cackles.]

[konpeitoqueen]

[scuse u]

More words from an overly-ambitious idiot who can't even recognize the potentials of someone!

But I guess I won't ever be a follower to anyone, anyway. [How little does she know...] Especially not as someone as fake and blind as you!

But back to the main point- so did you wreck stuff, or not? There has a way to show proof, huuuh?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Of course I did! And if you want proof, then...then-

[A thought suddenly occurs to Cobra Commander. And he can't even begin to figure out why this didn't occur earlier.

Then again maybe all the screaming might have had something to do with it.]

Then go to Vermilion and sssssee for yourself!

[konpeitoqueen]

...I'm in Johto. There's no way I'll fly across the region just on a half-hearted claim.

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You don't fly all the way you idiot! There's a train!

[konpeitoqueen]

You get what I mean! I'm not wasting my time!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

A shame ssssince you've already wasted so much of mine!

[konpeitoqueen]

Well, too bad! You've been amusing, so I didn't hang up.

But now you're just getting boring.

[If anything, she'll let him be the one to hang up, because she wants to see if he has anything shitty to say so she can laugh at it.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Then if I'm boring you, go away!

[The problem is Cobra's invested too much time in this to hang up.

...and more importantly, he has nothing better to do until he gets those status reports.]

But remember thisssss, today you have made a very very dangeroussssss enemy! And like an actual Cobra, I have no problem ssstriking at anyone who offends me! Anyone!

[konpeitoqueen]

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Remember- mongoose can dance around cobras! Habu snakes were defenseless against me!

[Aaaand with that, she hangs up.]