84 | Video

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Today we have some lovely footage of a Bloober moving around on Cobra's desk. Luckily, he had the sense to put down some plastic sheeting before letting the Bloober move (bloob?) around on it. Otherwise, he'd be throwing a tantrum about his desk being ruined by slime.]

I am going to assume most you know what these things are, and as you may have noticed none have been spotted in the wild for a few days now.Either they are extremely rare, or there are simply none left in either region. Sssso if you were planning to catch one, finding one could prove to be an extremely difficult, if not imposssible task.

But you aren't entirely out of luck! I happen to have obtained a number of these creatures and would be more than happy to ssssell them to anyone wanting to own one.

[He caught ten of them thinking he could something with them, and so far, they don't seem to do anything he finds useful like explode or shoot lasers, so he's done with this little experiment.]

Now given that the creatures are as rare as they are, and with seemingly no eggs on the market, I think it's only fair to ssssell them for a high price. Therefore, I will accept nothing lower than P100,000 per creature.

[He pulled that number out of thin air, but hey nine or ten of them at P100,000? That's a lot of money he can waste on stupid Cobra things.]

And before any of you complain or attempt to haggle, need I remind you that if they remain unsold, I will find another use for them. Target practice, perhaps.

[And that's where the feed ends.]

Comments

[video]

[konpeitoqueen]

Kyahahah! What moron would pay even a dime for those disgusting things?

[Chuckle.] If you do use them as target practice, though, film it so I can watch.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

You would be surprised what people pay for worthlessss things so long as they're rare.

[Oh wait, this is that brat again.]

If I were to let you watch ssssuch a thing, it wouldn't be film! You'd have a front row sssseat! As the target!

[video]

[konpeitoqueen]

[Yes, indeed, that brat.]

Oh, I know. And I'd like to stay far, far away from them.

Uwaaaah? Back to threatening a little girl? You're still the most pathetic of the pathetic.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I am not pathetic! And I will threaten whoever I want!

[video]

[konpeitoqueen]

Yeah, yeah. Whatever makes you sleep better at night, you pig.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What would help me sssssleep better at night is if someone were to remove you from existence! Permanently!

[video]

[konpeitoqueen]

So you're so weak that a little girl can bother you to that point?

[NO ONE CAN WIN]

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

You do realize that someone can just sell bloober eggs at any point, since you weren't the one that caught some. You could have just caught two and breed them so you could have made a good profit that way, but I guess you aren't thinking that far. [This is why the man probably isn't in the marketing business. ]

And considering that they're gelatinous slime blobs, there isn't much you can do to them permanently.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Get your hearing checked! There are no eggs on the market, and I already ssssaid as much! If anyone could have produced eggs by now, they would have!

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

I heard you fine and I meant what I said. Even if they aren't any on the market, what make you think that someone can't start selling at any point in the next week or so. There isn't really a point to it, when we don't even know half of what they can do or what type they are.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yessss, because a lack of information has ever ssstopped people from paying untold sums of money for rarities.

[He's really not seeing a problem with his scheme here at all.]

And if someone else wants to sell, then let them. It's ssstill in their best interests to buy from me if they value these creatures' well being.

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

No, but in this case you are trying to pass off a goo blobs rare creatures and you haven't made them anymore appealing with the exception of threating to do horrible things to them.

You do realize that people worry about all your pokemon anyway, since you are a grade A asshole.

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I'm not trying to pass them off as rare. Their own lack of availability is proof of their rarity. And I don't care what people think of me!

[ardent]

...Let me know how many of them go unpurchased.

[...Ishimaru, no.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I suppose I could, but if thisss is an attempt to spare them from whatever fate I will almost certainly inflict on them should they remain unsold, let me make it clear that the price will not change.

In other words, if you want the remaining Bloobers, they will sssstill cost P100,000 each.

[ardent]

[Mnnngh.]

Well, how many do you have?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I believe I have about ten of them.

[He thought it was nine, but apparently a larger looking one was just two of them stuck together.]

So that would be P1,000,000 for all ten.

[ardent]

...I can afford it, should it come to that.

[God, he hates you so badly right now, Cobra.]

Notify me once your selling period is over - I'll handle whatever's remaining!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Okay, wait. Cobra Commander is essentially holding these Bloobers hostage and demanding money in exchange for their well being and...someone just agreed to pay for them? As in someone has actually, after years of being laughed at for doing things like this, met his demands?

This is...wow. He almost doesn't remember how to handle this anymore. He spends years demanding money in exchange for not doing things and gets nothing and then...this. He's almost speechless.

But that moment of surprise's over with and he's back to being Cobra now.]

Then we have a deal! If these remain unsold, then you will be the first to know!

audio

[saxsongs]

... like anyone's really going to pay that for a blob of goo.

[Not that he'd want to see them as targets for practice, but... still.]

audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

We shall soon sssssee about that.

audio

[saxsongs]

Confident, aren't you? You'd think you'd have learned by now that not all things go like you plan.

audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Thissss is different! Completely different! I'm well aware of how ssssimple it is to sell rare items at extremely high prices! Even if a child could do thisss without making a mistake!

audio

[saxsongs]

Did you just actually admit that not all your plans are successful?

[Wow. He thought that would never happen.]

Have you tried selling those RageCandyBars? I bet you'd do a great job with that mission.

audio

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Not answering that one.]

Why on earth would I waste my time sssselling candy?

[Wait, has he sold candy before?]

That's pointlessss!