61 | Private Video + Public Video + Text

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Private Video for Rockets]

[Cobra’s in his office again. Of particular interest might be the window in the background. The curtains are open and every so often a Shuppet drifts by it.

But that’s not what Cobra’s here to talk about today. Instead he’s angrily shaking a bunch of flyers in front of the camera. ]

I told you! I told you all! And no one listened to me! Months ago, I mentioned that I thought the Vermilion Gym Leader was up to ssssomething! And I was right! Look at thisss!

[He’ll show the flyers more carefully this time. One’s for the tournament, and the other is for the newly opened Lt. Surge's Survival Camp.]

I told you he was up to ssssomething, and look! In my absence, he’s opened a training camp! To train people! And there’s something in here about retired combat instructors! I sssaid he might’ve been a small part of a larger force and I was right! Absolutely right! Something needs to be done about thissss!

[Because this is all clearly more important than the ghost swarms and possessions.

That Shuppet…or perhaps it’s a different Shuppet floats by the camera as Cobra calms down slightly.]

Also, I suggest the rest of you pay close attention to the network. I have a very important announcement to make.

[End of Rocket Feed]



[When the public feed starts, the first thing that might be noticeable is that wherever Cobra is seems to have some fancy Shuppet print curtains on the outside of the windows.

…oh wait, they’re moving. Not that Cobra’s noticed this; he has much more important things on his mind.]

One million dollars. One million dollars to the person who finds the man who stole my chair.

[Said money may or may not be sheets of paper with Cobra’s face, good only for the day when he rules the world.]

Attached, you will find a list of aliases and identifying characteristics. Good luck.

[And sure enough, the information comes up on the screen shortly.


Name: ???
Aliases: El Zorua/The Fox
Location: Unknown, but prior information indicates they are familiar with the Cianwood/Olivine area
Identifying Characteristics: Male, Spanish accent, familiar with history, primarily American history
Reward: $1,000,000 for live capture and successful delivery to Cobra Commander ]

Comments

[Text] Let me know if you have any problem with colored text!

[used_puppets]

a chair?
really?
are you honestly raising hell because of a chair?

[Look who's talking. This guy here was intending to turn New Bark to shreds just three days ago because of a puppet...]

[video forever] I don't have any problems with it!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Yesss! Over a chair! Because no one steals from Cobra Commander and gets away with it! No one!

[Text] OK!!

[used_puppets]

[God, this guy couldn't be more of a villain stereotype even if he tried.]

look, instead of fretting over your precious chair, i think you should check out what's going on outside your window.
doesn't look good.

[islandshore]

...Can't you just get a new chair?

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

No! And I recovered the chair months ago! But I've finally put together all of the information needed to punish the thief! Now I just need someone to capture him!

[He'd even be willing to put aside his dislike of Riku if they bring in El Zorua.]

[islandshore]

[...Wow, Cobra. Have the most deadpan expression possible from Riku.]

Why's this chair such a big deal? It's not like there's a shortage of them around here.

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

[Oh, it's a post from Cobra. After certain events that he is not going to speak of that occurred over the last couple days, Ryner could use the entertainment... wait.]

...It was a chair.

[Yes, he's late to that party.]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It wasn't a chair. It was my chair!

[And that makes all the difference.]

[Video]

[tearsofademon]

You've made such a big deal, over a chair.

[Video] It took me way too long to notice the icon ^^;;;;

[whateveryoueatliveitspart]

[So here's a familiar face. With a black leather motorcycle jacket, a black shirt with a black and white picture of some mohawked punk giving two middle fingers and "FUCK THE SYSTEM" on it, hair in short liberty spikes, and a bunch of safety pins shoved through his ears. Also he's in the middle of a can of cheap beer, the little shoplifter.]

This some trivia show thing? Or're you pretendin'a be El Zorua's archnemesis fer Halloween're somethin'? Whatever, I'll bite. Shoulda asked somethin' harder, fucker.

Yer lookin' fer Don Diego de la Venusaur. [Insert directions to his grave here, phrased in a way that could be interpreted as directions to someone who's still alive. "Lucky" for Cobra that the punk riding Apollo thinks El Zorua was a pretty cool guy and knows all about him. He takes another swig.] So where do I pick up the cash, fucker?

[Video] Thank Dist's mun. They made it!

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[What.

What is Cobra Commander even looking at? That outfit change makes less sense than when Destro changed from silver to olive green or when Zartan decided he needed an orange mohawk.

Once again, what?]

You get nothing! The reward is for capture and delivery! And why on earth would I trust your directions? Furthermore, you're the last person that should be accusing anyone of wearing a Halloween costume with that absolutely ridiculoussss ensemble!

[Video]

[whateveryoueatliveitspart]

[Apollo will be glad that the punk riding him didn't want a mohawk. Getting all this stuff out of his hair is already going to be a pain.

He gives Cobra the finger with one hand while he finishes the beer with the other, crushes the can in his hand, and chucks it into an off-camera recycling station.]

Hey, fuck you! I ain't gotta conform to how the System says I gotta look! 'Sides, I ain't the fucker who can't talk right and's hidin' his ugly mug.

And you seriously expect someone to bring you El Zorua? Alive? [Snort.] Yer pretty retarded, fucker.

[video]

[pinnedbangs]

[...Y'know. Once he thought this guy was imposing. That first impression didn't last too long.]

What if someone just finds your chair? [not that he would actually help HE'S JUST CURIOUS REALLY]

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I already recovered the chair! Months ago! This is merely an attempt to punish the one responsible!

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

Your chair was stole again. [He really didn't get the obsession with the damn chair.]

[Video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

No, it was not ssstolen again! I've finally discovered the identity of the thief!

[Private video.]

[shakespearealien]

[For once, Gorthan is fully serious and not trying to mock or ridicule Cobra anyway! This is a good day.]

A larger force... a mercenary army, perhaps? In that case, something should be done about it indeed.

[Private video.]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

[Hello Gorthan. Cobra's actually willing to set aside the recent unpleasantness for this since this is a much more important matter.]

We would be lucky if it were only a mercenary force. Then we could pay them to work for us. What I fear is that this is recruitment for a foreign entity, ssssimilar to the state sponsored training some countries provide in my world...or an attempt to provide an formal armed resistance against our organization.

vidya

[liquidation]

Stolen right out from under you, was it?

[This makes up a bit for the fact that Cobra saw him get beaned in the face with a pidgey.]

vidya

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

It was ssstolen months ago, and the thief's identity remained a myssstery! Until now! Now they will pay for their mistake!

action! || 1/3

[licentious]

[ So many different points to tackle! At a loss of where to begin, Lust will just tackle them in order... ]

A tournament? I don't see what's so wrong about that. It provides perfect scouting opportunities. [ Know what strategies your opponents use before you face them! AND KNOWING IS 3/4 OF THE BATTLE.... ] As for the training camp, considering how he's one of the first gym leaders you beat in Kanto, I don't think what he has to offer is going to be too substantial. [ low faith in military men tbh. ]

2/3

[licentious]

[ Now how to approach this.... certainly fictitious sounding thief. Male? Spanish? A history buff? Do people like that even exist in Johto? She's sure she's never heard an accent that unfamiliar. Whatever. She'll do her own investigation but for now, to appease him. ]

I'm on it, sir. You can keep any funds if I capture him. However, I am not sure what a Spanish accent is. Might I inquire for a demon-[ That word was certainly demonstration, but, something else has caught Lust's attention. The Shuppet blowing in and out of the window has certainly caught her mind. ]

3/3

[licentious]

[ She doesn't get too many opportunities to be sadistic, nor any opportunities to demonstrate her superiority complex. She cocks her head to the side as Sneasel catches onto her observation. ]

Ah, it appears we have company. Go investigate it, would you? [ Her Sneasel nods, obeying her orders. It jumps onto the ceiling and uses its claws to cling and walk on the ceiling. It doesn't leave any noticeable punctures, if Cobra is too concerned with the ceiling. ]

[video]

[princelyspirit]

...umm...

[Cobra may have missed his little ghostly friends, but Utena hasn't! Her eyes go wide, still fixated on the shuppets]

Hey, I know that weird, obsessive revenge is sort of your thing here, but I think you might have something else to worry about right now.

[video]

[cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

What is that supposed to mean? Explain yourself! Now!

[He has no idea.]