cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 70

Greetings, people of the world.

[Behind Cobra Commander, there appears to be some sort of tarp covered object. There’s no real uniform shape to it, and the tarp does a wonderful job concealing the fact that it’s just a bunch of boxes and assorted junk he’s cobbled together to create the impression that there’s something else under there.]

I assume that many of you are wondering what thisss object behind me is? Well, wonder no longer! Thisss is what will not only assure my victory over the world, but also will be the final argument to convince ssssome of you that I, Cobra Commander, am indeed someone you should all fear!

You see, thanks to ssssome of the greatest minds to ever inhabit this place, I finally have a device capable of harnessing the forces of nature themselves! Think about that means! The weather itself is mine to command! And mine to use against my enemies!

[And it’s the same for anyone else with access to certain Pokémon attacks, but Cobra’s hoping the tarp will distract people from thinking about that.]

But I have no interest in ruling over a frozen or flooded planet. Therefore, I’ll give you all one chance to sssspare yourselves such a fate. Simply turn over one-third of all the eggs in both Johto and Kanto to me and you won’t have to experience the full power of thisss weapon! Refuse and suffer the consequences!

I will give you one week to decide! One week!

{OOC: There’s more information about this here!}

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Cobra's not really sure what there is for someone to sound cheery about. Amusement really wasn't the reaction he was going for with this.]

Well, I didn't ask for your opinion, and I don't care what your Pokemon know! This isn't about your Pokemon! This is about me holding the world hostage with my new superweapon!

Yessss! I am! Now hand over any Pokemon eggs you have! Right now!

Where I got the resources from is none of your business, when I put it together is over the past few months, and the why is sssssimply because I felt like it!

[That should answer all of those. Aside from the Pokémon ruining the machine thing anyway. Let them ruin the junk under the tarp if they want, he doesn’t care.]

And yess, that’s my demand! And why would I demand money for that? There’s no sssense is buying Pokémon eggs when I can force people to surrender theirs instead!

Eh, I've lived through the storm of the century while in the middle of the forest. Somehow I doubt you could do worse than that while I'm inside.

Oh no, not with the babies. That wouldn’t get me anywhere. No, I’d train them first until they’re fully evolved and then use them to wreak havoc on anything that gets in my way!

[Clearly this plan is flawless.

Also, he’s cackling now.]

I will concede part of the first point.

[And conceding an argument isn’t something that Cobra usually does.]

While I am hardly a clown, you are correct. No one has given into my demands yet. Which is a mistake that will soon be corrected!

Second, of course I’ve heard of those. They matter little to me though. As to what makes me sssso special, it’s simple. As always, I am willing to do what most are not in order to get what I want!

Third, I know quite well how to raise a Pokémon egg! I’ve received and hatched many during my time here! Ssssso there!

Very well then. I shall!

[Just not right now.]

In one week!

No, right now. Scare my pants off.

_{[Or maybe he's been hanging around Heather too much.]}

[Naruto really hates guys like this. He'd also thought that in this place, he was done with people trying to take over the world.]

OI. LISTEN. I dunno who you are, but we'll NEVER give in to you or your stupid plans!

(Sayaka's expression hardened. As far as she was concerned, his ideals? Totally clashes with hers, so there's no sense in trying to get him to see reason.)

You won't get away with this! As a Knight of Justice and a fellow trainer of Pokemon, you shall be stopped.

But if you have money, you have more spending options for your "resources" besides, if it's up to the people to give you their third of eggs, they could pick which eggs to give you.

And you still have to train them, you know? You could just end up with a bunch of level one Magikarp or something

Buddy, any evil plan that relies on that much animal husbandry isn't going to get you far. Try thinking of something better than a one-third kitten tax.

Yeah, I can't even say if you look like a preschooler or not sing you have this weird thing covering you face, how very mature.

[He sighs.]

If you actually are the supervillain of this world then I am really disappointed. I never signed up for such a noisy supervillain...

Why on earth would I let other people correct what obviously doesn't need corrections?

[To be honest though, in his world, there were a few Cobra members who would point out those flaws, usually when Cobra didn't want to hear them.]

Justice will prevail?

[Ishimaru, he doesn't know what to say.

But that's only because he can't stop laughing. Sorry.]

You can't be that sssstupid! Justice never prevails against me! Never!

[Unless all those other times where it did count. If so, justice prevails on a regular basis.]

And rally against me if you want! It will only end in your defeat!

You doubt I can do worse?

[Was that a challenge? If so...]

Well, we'll sssssee about that!

[Challenge accepted.]

Oh, please. So you're a one-man bargain-basement Ponyville weather team. That doesn't mean we have to listen to everything you say! Why, if Rainbow tried that on me, I wouldn't fix any of her clothes for a year!

[You know, before the incident in Hope's Peak he would have been entirely willing to dismiss over-the-top villainy like this.

And then Monobear happened. Now he's just pissed off.]

You've got that wrong!

[...wow, he is never stealing Naegi's lines again as that just felt awkward, but dear god, he's wanted to do that for a while.]

You're either extremely new at this or you're lying, Mr. Terrorist - if you're convinced that you're above justice itself, you wouldn't need to make demands! It's like you're expecting us to hand over the world; if you care so little and have so much power, why go through us first - unless our cooperation is necessary to your success!

You were unable to find a better use for such a device?

[Genuine confusion here.]

Are you unable to obtain eggs through other means? Most here seem to manage to acquire them through chance.

[...wow. This guy was DEFINITELY the special type of crazy. Then again, what else would you expect from a cartoon villain...]

...oh, sorry. I spaced out there for a second. You were saying something about weather? Partly cloudy with a high chance of bullshit, right?

Then I'll enlighten you! I am Cobra Commander! And while you apparently won't be giving me what I want, what makes you ssssso sure that others won't?

[Okay, he's got this. Good thing the mask obscures how panicky he is about his bluff being called.]

And give away my location before my weapon is at full power? I think not! One week! You will have your demonstration in one week and no ssssooner! It will take time to siphon enough power for ssssuch a display!

A Knight of...

[Okay, he's laughing again.]

Oh my then perhaps I should just turn myssssself in right now. Or not! Lisssten to me! There are few things in this world that would cause me to worry. [Actually quite a few of them.] But a sssso called Knight of Justice is hardly one of them!

Ah yessss. But Magikarp evolves into Gyarados, and once I have an army of Gyarados at my disssposal, who then would be the foolish one?

And if I wanted to buy the eggs, then I could easily do so. I have more money than I know what to do with at the moment.

I beg to differ! Pokemon make very very effective weapons!

[So effective that they can be used instead of weather machines.]

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