Cobra Commander

[The camera’s focusing on a half-eaten box of chocolates and a mysterious Pokemon egg, but something’s pretty off with the Commander’s voice. He’s still yelling, but he doesn’t sound as angry as he usually does. In fact he sounds happy. Very happy. As if having his security breached for the umpteenth time is just the most wonderful thing ever.]

Who put thissss here? I want a name! And where did this egg come from? Why does this keep happening?

[And then he starts laughing. It stops after a few minutes. Sort of. He’s still giggling while he talks.]

And why can I sssstop acting like this? Have I been drugged? What’s going on? Someone-

[And back to uncontrollable laughter again.]

Ssssomeone explain this right now!