Cobra Commander

[For once the feed isn’t focused on the Commander at all. Instead he has it turned toward the Goldenrod City Gym, which is currently sporting a relatively solid layer of ice over its doors.]

Excellent work Ice-Viper! Now they’ll never escape! Never!

[After some evil laughter, the Commander turns the camera towards his face.]

Johto! Consider this the first example of what my forces can do! And trust me, there will be others! Don’t even think about trying to capture me either or I’ll deal with you too!

[The feed clicks off after the final threat. He doesn’t want anyone to see where he’s going next.]

{OOC: Since he's trying his hardest to get away with this, the Commander also had Spikes scattered north of Goldenrod to try and discourage anyone from following. Which, like everything else he does in Johto, should be nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Replies from the Commander will probably be Audio.}

[The sound of rain can be heard, but the Commander had the sense to broadcast indoors. His tone indicated this is actually important and not a usual rant.]

People of the world, I demand your immediate attention! I have an extremely important announcement to make. Quite possibly the most important announcement in the history of Johto!

[There’s a snort from behind his mask, which is immediately followed by the feed being killed for a few moments. When it resumes, the Commander seems to have regained his composure.]

Effective immediately, Cobra is no more. I understand now that it is impossible to conquer this world and will stop trying. From this moment forward, please consider me an ordinary citizen, no more important or dangerous than the rest of you. That is all.

Oh wait, there is one more thing. April Fools, you morons! I’m not giving up anything! If anything I have even more reasons to take over Johto than I did before! And none of you can stop me!

[He proceeds to cackle hysterically, like this is the funniest thing in the world to him.]

{OOC: Canon update successful (One week, plus a few days), so Cobra Commander’s back to yell and scream and fail at everyone.}

[As usual the video opens from one of the many nondescript rooms Cobra Commander uses for temporary bases.]

Citizens of Johto, some time ago I offered you a simple proposition: accept me as ruler of the world or face the consequences. Unfortunately, most of you did not accept my rule. Unfortunately for you, that is! I said there would be consequences, and consequences there will be! I’ve already dealt with two of you, and in due time, all of you who mocked me, who derided me, who chose to question my authority, will suffer a similar fate in due time! Unless I am paid 1 million dollars by the end of the week, I will continue to exact my revenge on any who has ever disrespected me!

( Private to Members of Team Rocket )

[The video feed displays a nondescript room inside Rocket HQ. The camera is shaking around and occasionally drops higher or lower as Cobra Commander stands in front of it wearing his regular “definitely not a Rocket Grunt uniform” outfit.]

Attention citizens of Johto! I am Cobra Commander! This broadcast is to publicly thank those of you who so graciously provided me with information on Pokémon evolution. Soon my Ekans will evolve into Arbok and there’s nothing any of you can do about it! Nothing!

[This prompts some maniacal laughter from the masked man and seems to startle the person filming. The camera shakes around a bit taking the focus away from Cobra Commander, which of course angers him.]

Give me that back you idiot! This broadcast is over! Give it back you stupid Pokémon!

[There's a flash of purple before the feed goes black as the camera is yanked away from Ekans.]

To any members of Cobra in this miserable place, this is your commander speaking. Report in. Where are you? What kind of creature have you been given?

[Pause]

And to the rest of you on this network, any information you possess on the creatures that inhabit this place is of great interest to me. Feel free to share anything useful you've learned.